The Good Place Chapter 9 – …Someone Like Me As A Member

The Good Place had their midseason finale last night but they still managed to pull the rug out from under us at the last minute, for old times sake.

Both Medium-Good Eleanor and Perfect Eleanor died in Arizona in the same traffic accident – the real one tries to save the fake one from being killed by the boner pill truck but she failed. Since humans on Earth are just dots on a map to Michael & Trevor, they each picked up the wrong one. Trevor is glad to have resolved the mess and wants to take Kristen Bell & go, but Michael wants to negotiate so she & real Eleanor can stay, he offers up a unicorn but Trevor wants to eat it and grind the horn and OMG DON’T LET HIM DO THIS #SAVETHEUNICORNS

Michael warns our Eleanor to stay on her toes until they figure this whole thing out and when she asks why he’s helping her despite the deception and lies, he says that not only did Chidi make excellent points on her behalf, but she’s part of their team, and you don’t give up on your team.

This leads us to our first flashback where Eleanor is in High-School and doesn’t want to be friends with anyone or part of any #squad. Two more flashbacks like this one occur later on in the episode, one in which Eleanor refuses to be part of her friend group as they buy tickets to Spiderman 2, and one in which she gets herself fired because the people she worked with liked each other too much and hung out and “that’s weird.”

But I’m getting ahead of myself. Michael is confiding in Tahani that he doesn’t know what to offer The Bad Place people. Maybe a unicorn bib? Or a corn holder but for unicorns…thankfully Tahani moves him away from unicorns all together and suggests a party at her gigantic house with good food and drinks to make those hooligans more agreeable to a deal. The best part of this scene though is D’Arcy Carden’s Bad Janet, she shows up hella blonde and contoured, decked in all leather and insulting Michael, because, duh.

Next door, Eleanor & Chidi are showing Real Eleanor her house, which is basically everything she’s ever dreamed of, Icelandic primitive design AND a clown nook. [sidenote; RIP to that hunky mailman poster, I really loved it]. We also learn a little more about where she lived in The Bad Place aka our Eleanor’s worst nightmare. Every day was an endless baby shower that she had to organize, getting an electric shock if she didn’t remember all the names & at night it was all classic torture: flying piranhas, lava monsters AND COLLEGE IMPROV. Also lots of jazz. Perfect-Eleanor suggests getting some food that doesn’t turn into spiders in your mouth (ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew I can’t ewwwwwwww) and they all go out to dinner; two losers, a trash bag and a demon.

Back at Tahani’s, the evil people haaaaaaate the party she’s thrown, and I sort of have to agree with them, it’s a little dull. They summon sweet Janet, who is still uploading all the information in the universe and doesn’t know what a jalapeno popper is, so they mock her a little and then they mock humans and then they mock Michael, AGAIN.

The foursome is having dinner at The Good Plates (perhaps my favourite pun in this show) and Real Eleanor & Chidi are bonding super hard, like to the point of making our Eleanor jealous as hell. Trevor is also not helping the situation by being gross and annoying. He even asks if Eleanor & Chidi are “porking” leading Chidi to say that their relationship is STRICTLY teacher/student. This totally sets Eleanor off, probably because she never allowed herself to feel feelings or be included so that no one could hurt her and now that she has she feels like it’s all backfiring, so she lashes out. After the soulmates leave, Our Eleanor & Trevor are doing shots at the bar and he’s breaking down her spirit until she finally believes that she doesn’t belong in The Good Place and agrees to go with him to The Bad Place

Janet is bummed that she doesn’t know the answers to people’s questions and JianYu totally relates. #same. They have a heart-to-whatever-Janet-has, he teaches her about jalapeno poppers and then they hug. Y’all I think JianYu is in love with Janet.

Michael is still trying to impress these evil doers and make them love him so he brings out a karaoke machine and lets them snort “the concept of time” Also, they make JianYu tap a keg, which he should have pretended he didn’t know how to do because TAHANI IS RIGHT THERE BRO! As she’s watching on, she’s getting more and more disappointed that Michael is letting these losers walk all over him. She gives Michael the same pep talk she gave Mark Zuckerberg before he ousted his partner Eduardo (we’ve all seen The Social Network right? you all get it?) and tells him to get tough and hit unfriend. She also wants Michael to know that she told Mark to drop the “The” from ““ She’s basically a hero.

The next morning, Eleanor wake up in the bathtub with a massive hangover (The Bad Place crew requested the filter be turned off, they like hangovers, BECAUSE THEY ARE MONSTERS). Chidi reassures her that he’s here for her & that they are a team, that he WANTS to help her and be there at the negotiations. THIS IS WHT FRIENDSHIP FEELS LIKE ELEANOR! DO YOU SEE?!!

At the negotiating table, Eleanor FINALLY stands up to Trevor. She knows she doesn’t totally belong there BUT SHE WANTS TO! She wants to be like her friends in The Good Place BECAUSE THEY’RE NICE and she loves them. Trevor bitches that if they don’t let him take Eleanor, they’ll have to take this matter to Sean. THE ALL KNOWING JUDGE WHO WEIGHS IN ON THINGS IS NAMED SEAN! lololololol. Michael all of a sudden grows strong and decisive in the face of these bozos so he gets up, tells Trevor that he gets nothing, and tells him to GET THE FORK OUT!!!

Just when you think everything is going to be okay-ish; they show cuts to JianYu eating some cheetos (yas, slay) and walking into his bud-hole WHERE TAHANI IS WAITING FOR HIM!!! He’s been getting sloppy at pretending to be a monk, leaving his junk food everywhere AND ALSO TAPPING A KEG! I warned him that would be a bad idea!!! Tahani wants to have a chat with him and figure everything out AND OMG WHAT’S GOING TO HAPPEN TO JIANYU/JASON?! WHY DO WE HAVE TO WAIT SO LONG?! WHYYYYYYY NBC GODS, WHYYYYYYY?!

The show comes back in January and I will be IMPATIENTLY counting down the days until Kristen Bell & The Good Place Crew ™ are back in my life! Catch up on all the episodes on or the NBC app.

photos courtesy of NBCU/Screenshots from GlobalTV

Author: Hasti

a potato who likes nice things.

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