Tandy takes the crew to where he had left Pat’s dead body (in a pile of garbage), but the body is missing, and there’s a trail of blood that leads down the beach to where Pat’s boat was. Knowing that Pat is alive, still out there, and angry with them for almost killing him, the gang doesn’t feel safe staying where they are. There’s always the possibility that Pat could come back. Tandy tries to convince them that Pat is gone and they are safe, but Todd argues that Pat could have left to get killing supplies. Lewis agrees with Tandy that Pat was a very scared, paranoid person. He had been worried that they were infected with the virus, therefore he wouldn’t come back here and risk that exposure.
Lining the walls with Big Mouth Billy Basses (or at least they refer to the fish as “Billy.” He sings “Joy to the World,” which would make him a Timmy Trout, according to the internet.), Tandy develops a makeshift security system for the house. If Pat were to come back to the house to attack them, he’d walk down the hall, and the house would fill with “Jeremiah was a bullfrog.”
Lewis comes across Melissa’s sniper’s nest. She lets him come in and take a look. “Follow my finger… Brain stem shot. Brain stem shot. Brain stem shot. Brain stem shot.”
Carol redecorated to mask the damage Tandy had done to the house while faking Pat’s vandalism in the previous episode. Instead of covering up the words, she decided to change the negative and threatening messages into positive and motivational ones.
Tandy announces that he’s going to start giving self-defense lessons every night at dinner. For the second time that day, Lewis agrees with one of Tandy’s ideas, and Tandy uses him as his volunteer for the first demonstration. When Tandy busts out the taser, Lewis becomes nervous that Tandy will actually tase him. After reassuring that he won’t, Lewis charges at Tandy, as instructed, and Tandy pulls the trigger, tasing Lewis.
Later that night, everyone freaks out when the fish start singing, but it was just Erica returning from the bathroom after a bout of morning sickness.
Realizing they need a way to indicate whether the person setting off the “alarms” is one of their own or an intruder, Carol gives everyone tap shoes and whistles to wear at all times. Gail voices her distaste.
Tandy shows off the Tazing Stations he set up around the property.
Melissa had a similar idea in mind and set up Ax Stations.
After some light angsting, Tandy invites Lewis to the beach to ask him to be friends. He starts his speech by talking about the Lion and the Mouse. His point for a while is unclear; he spends his time focusing on details, such as character names, that are unimportant to the overall plot. Finally, Tandy decides to wrap it up and summarizes that the lion had a thorn in its foot. Lewis accepts Tandy’s friendship. Tandy tosses a football, but overshoots and it hits the beach, setting off a landmine that Melissa had rigged.
“This beach is littered with landmines. A madman knows exactly where we are. This house is a complete disaster. And those fish… That song… What are we doing? We need to get out of here. This place is a nightmare. We can live literally anywhere in the world.”
Everyone realizes that they are terrified living here after a tide comes in and sets off landmines on the beach. Tandy is the only one reluctant to leave. Lewis tells Tandy that they are friends, and reminds him of the story of the lion and the mouse. There’s a thorn in Tandy’s foot, and it’s time to pull it out and move on.
They all pack up…
say goodbye to their lost ones that they buried in Malibu (RIP Gordon, Philip Stacy Miller, Darrell, and Cher)…
Where to next? Will they find more survivors? If they don’t know where they’re going, and therefore can’t leave a note, what about the people who come to Malibu after going to Tuscon after seeing “Alive in Tuscon” written on every billboard in America?
The Last Man on Earth airs Sundays at 9:30/8:30c!