In this episode, Team Scorpion becomes the thieves rather than the lawful government contractors we’ve come to know them as. Scorpion gets appointed by Agent Cook to test the security of the ultra secret Fort Knox military base — I’m sure you’ve heard of it — by stealing a valuable Prussian jeweled scepter that is being protected there. The catch is that in order for the mission to avoid being inherently flawed, the guards and operatives on the base cannot be told of Team Scorpion’s mission.

In our opening scene, Waige is on a date with Linda, and it is revealed that they have been “dating” for a few weeks. By dating I mean Walter has taken her to a bunch of museums and science lectures, and tonight they’re watching the blooming of a very gross flower. But Linda doesn’t seem to mind too much, since she still steals a few kisses from him in public. It doesn’t seem like Walter is genuinely into it (which of course he isn’t, he loves Paiges), but he’s more just dating Linda for the sake of dating people, which is super annoying since I have to deal with people doing that in real life all the time, I don’t need to watch my tv friends do it too. Toby isn’t convinced by their relationship and tells Walter that Linda doesn’t actually like him, but is instead suffering from “damsel syndrome,” which basically means that she likes the memory of him saving her from being killed that was strapped to her early this season.

Anyway, more of that later. For now, AHHH what kind of mission is this?! REAL Fort Knox guards with REAL that don’t know Team Scorpion works for the government?! That sounds like trouble. And the team recognizes this, stating that this sort of mission is insane and potentially super deadly (but when has that ever stopped them before?), but a small reward of a million dollars convinces them to do it. And yes, that was a Donald Trump joke, but also they were actually offered a million dollars for completing the mission.

So Walter, Toby, and Happy go to break into Fort Knox with the help of Cabe and his trainee/Paige’s semi-lover Tim. Meanwhile, Paige, Sylvester, and Ralph (with the help of our hilarious lawyer friend Haywood Jahelpme Morris) stay behind to work on Ralph’s court case against his professor who failed Ralph on a project for which Ralph developed a new software, and then proceeded to steal said software. Walter got into some trouble with Paige after he snapped at Ralph, when in fact it was Walter who was in the wrong.

In the first round of the trial, Haywood fails more miserably than I would have thought possible by somehow managing to suggest that his own client, Ralph, has mental disabilities (being his genius) which create handicaps, and he is therefore not competent. Ya, not only was I confused, by so was the judge — played by Leslie David Barker, and who you might know as Stanley Hudson from The Office. The judge put the trial on hold and took Haywood into custody as he felt he was unfit to serve as a lawyer.

Back at Fort Knox, Walter, Toby, and Happy have faced some tough obstacles, including getting caught by a guard, tripping the alarm signaling for all the doors to lock and the room to fill up with water (seriously, how is Happy not deathly afraid of water at this point?), and a literal bomb that is dropped on them. But that last one was intentional; Walter saw the only means of getting out of where they were trapped underground was to blow a hole near them and climb out.

And SURPRISE! In total Scorpion fashion, Cook turned out to be a corrupt agent! He was not testing Fort Knox security at all, but instead tricking Team Scorpion into stealing the scepter, which turned out to be containing some seriously dangerous chemical that could wipe out entire nations with just a few grams. So was started out as an interesting twist on a Scorpion mission ended pretty much exactly how we expect Scorpion missions to end. How are they even able to trust any government agent that walks into the garage at this point? More than half of them have actually turned out to be the bad guys. They really need some better background screening for their clients. Also, how did Toby the Genius Behaviorist not pick up on Cook’s plans?! I mean, going on a mission to steal a valuable scepter from Fort Knox and not telling any higher authority about it should have been some pretty big red flags.

But no matter, since they whip up a genius plan to catch Cook, which works and authorities take him away. They all head back to Ralph’s trial (where Toby testifies that Ralph is most certainly competent), and then Ralph explains that he can prove the software is his because embedded in the code are ‘bookmarks,’ which are basically markers Ralph can use to find certain parts of the code. Ralph says that he chose specific numbers as his bookmarks, and he could tell the judge exactly what and where they are. He explains that he chose the date of his own birthday, his mother’s, and the day he met Walter, because that was the day that changed his life.

Ralph wins his trial and at the end of this episode we get a few really sweet scenes with Ralph and Walter. Walter is so touched that he’s on the verge of tears, and honestly every time Walter almost cries I almost cry. He is just so adorable when he gets emotional. Linda and Tim also appear, Tim asking Paige out and Linda breaking up with Walter. Walter doesn’t seem to phased by this. The team celebrates all their victories, Haywood included, and the episode ends with Toby spilling his beer on Happy’s hand in a very obvious scheme to get her ring size, which he does by taking the imprint of her finger on a napkin as he dries it.

AHHH a QUINTIS proposal?! THIS is INSANE! Seriously! I would never in a million years have guessed that they would get engaged this soon (assuming she says yes)! I really thought Quintis was going to be a long, drawn-out ship, but as it turns out, they’re moving right along. I have no idea how Happy is going to respond to Toby’s proposal. I’m really excited to see how this all turns out.

And Waige has to get their moment soon, right? They started out this season so well, with a passionate kiss, and it kinda went downhill from there. Hang in there, Waige fans! Have hope! We’re down to the final 2 episodes of the season, so there’s gotta be something right? RIGHT?