Greg is too excited about a UTI, Rebecca can’t ignore the feels, and Josh is mad for some reason
As promised, when we see Rebecca & Greg, they have been “destroying each other” for three days straight. We come in as they’re just being adorable and playing Words With Friends in bed. Then, inevitably, that awkward thing happens where Becks wants to talk and Greg is like meh let’s keep this casual; & then for some reason he ruffles her hair.
Cut to, Rebecca and Paula at the office, they’re really trying to talk about something other than Josh, but Paula isn’t sharing much. Sweet Darryl walks in and talks about a pie contest that Paula has entered – prompting Rebecca to want to help her win by going to the local “pie supply shop.” Just as she’s trying to convince Paula that her love life isn’t interesting, she gets a sext from Greg and meets him in a public bathroom for a quicky. While that sex looked hot, I really hope there wasn’t someone with IBS just waiting outside that bathroom door.
Once the hookup is done, Becks heads back to Paula’s with Cricket Flour, which I really hope they didn’t use in the pie. Paula the super sleuth spots Rebecca’s panties in her pocket and begs to know who it is as long as it’s not Greg, Rebecca gets weird about it and promises no one is smashing her butterfly. Paula totally shouldn’t be this dismissive of Greg, she makes good points but she’s still team Josh and I’m not sure how much healthier that is. Right after promising her bff Paula that no one is smashing her butterfly, we cut to Rebecca telling Greg to smash her butterfly in the throes of passion, and he’s just like “huh? what?”
So Grebecca have just hooked up again, and are coming up with other cool sex metaphors. Rebecca gets up to pee and when she comes back, she tells Greg that she has a UTI. Being a total dudebro, he has no idea what this is and when she explains it to him and calls him CAPACIOUS, he just has to break into the catchiest song ever. Rebecca is starting to feel feelings so she suggests working remotely from Home Base so they can hang out and he’s acting all cool and casual so he can have the power back.
“Happy Greg is weird” – YES HECTOR SO WEIRD. Also in this scene, HEATHER IS BACK! #QUEEN! She’s chatting with Josh about his sisters wedding and very clued into the fact that Valencia is probably wedding crazy right now. When Rebecca walks in, Heather immediately notices the flamingo leg and figured out that she and Greg have been sleeping together. Josh gets mad and calls her a dumb face – but everyone knows she has “the smartest face” in there. Let’’s take a minute to celebrate how civil Rebecca and Heather are being during their conversation, like yes Heather is probably wondering why she’s turned into the shoulder to cry on but also is actually being helpful and friendly. Anyway, Rebecca figures out that oxytocin is making her have feelings so she leaves.
So guys, let’s circle back to angry Josh. He’s like suuuuper mad. After snapping at Heather and her beautiful face, he goes to the dojo and has a little meltdown set to 80’s training montage music. Shoutout to Vincent Rodriguez here for slaying the choreography so hard! Then Josh heads home, snaps at Valencia AND TURNS DOWN SEX. To get his head back on straight he meets with Father Brah (sup Rene Gube). Brah gives some wise advice, basically tells Josh to stop being a little bitch – he doesn’t get to be mad about Rebecca and Greg because he’s all up in Valencia’s beeswax right now.
Now let’s focus some more on Grebecca. They’re eating and he offers her the last lettuce cup, which would turn anyone on so of course they start having sex again. This time, Rebecca breaks into a Carly Rae Jepson-esque feels anthem. “Omg I Think I Like You” is all about how she’s having feelings for Greg that she wants to ignore but can’t. This song and music video are glorious and I’ve been watching it on a loop. She snaps out of the musical number in her head and realizes she’s late for the es-pie-onage. I don’t know why she was covered in jizz since she was showering for the whole song but Paula assumed it was spit so all’s well. Becks is trying to be like Tom Cruise and checks for lasers and does backflips and pees herself. Then they steal a pie crust sample so they can figure out the competitions secret ingredient but it turns out to be unsalted butter.
This is where things start to go to shit. Rebecca wants to go to a drive through movie with Greg, he mentions he might be meeting the girl Hector wants to set him up with. Things get weird, Rebecca acts like she’s all cool but she spirals and says she has 8 dates lined up for the week – she dates on a Broadway schedule apparently. They stare off awkwardly into space and then I’m guessing Greg goes home. The next day is the pie contest. Darryl is once again being the most adorable and partial-to-Paula judge – making orgasm faces at all the pies. I love him, in case you hadn’t noticed. As the judges are sampling Paula’s pie, REBECCA PASSES THE FUCK OUT! I knewwwwww she wasn’t taking care of the UTI properly. Greg arrives on his date but then gets a text from Rebecca about being in the hospital and, in a moment that gives me hope, runs over to see her.
Becks is now in the hospital with Paula by her side, then Greg shows up, and then Josh shows up because duh Paula haaaad to text him. Rebecca’s doctor, Bloom’s IRL husband, is super into stand-up comedy and thinks now is the time to practice. He announces to everyone that Rebecca has a UTI. Paula is again very serious about knowing who she’s sleeping with. Greg is like “it’s me, it’s definitely me, all the time, a lot.” I honestly don’t see the problem but whatever Paula stay mad.
Really great episode overall, I can’t wait to see how this Grebecca thing ends up and what happens with Josh and Valencia and if Paula ever forgives Rebecca! The season finale is gonna be so fucking great – plus it has LEA SALONGA in it so how can it not be 100 emoji