Neighbours – Ramsay Street Round-Up

I’ve had the week from hell this week, so I don’t know how witty I’m feeling. Having said that, it’s still not as bad as the week Aaron had, because at least I didn’t almost drown. There’s still time yet though.

Let’s get into the round-up anyway.

Jane is Getting Some

Jane called things off with Clint because she deemed it inappropriate for her to be dating one of the school cleaners, but she doesn’t seem to be able to stay away from him. They start meeting for clandestine hook-ups in an empty apartment at Eirini Rising, but one could argue that they’re not really making an effort to keep it secret.

Firstly they leave the store cupboard unlocked while they nip up to their rendezvous spot, and some expensive floor cleaner is stolen, then they generate some noise complaints due to their exuberant bedroom gymnastics, and then a “used prophylactic” (as Moira puts it) is found in the empty apartment.

Clint also drops off a copy of Lady Chatterley’s Lover, with a note attached to it referencing their meet-up in the Eirini apartment, which Jane just leaves on her desk for anyone to spot. Luckily it’s just Aaron who sees it, but that means there’s now one person who knows all about their secret relationship, so it surely won’t be long before other people start finding out too. Andrew is already suspicious because of how weird Jane acts when he rocks up to investigate.

My main issue with the way Jane and Clint are carrying on is that they’ve made what could have been a normal relationship into something a bit sordid. Jane’s worry was that it inappropriate to date Clint, but agreed that it didn’t actually break any rules. Now she’s doing a whole host of things that are deeply inappropriate considering the close relationship between the school and Eirini Rising. Misusing Eirini property, him bunking off to bonk during his shift, and them chucking used condoms around his workplace like confetti are all way more inappropriate than being seen in public down at Harold’s with one of the cleaners from school.

Or maybe that’s what makes it all so exciting?

Krista’s Grumpy Sister is Giving Me Bad Vibes

Krista’s sister still has a face like a wet week, and she seems to be plotting to get some sort of revenge on Krista for her being more rich and successful than she is, and also for the fact that Seb is in love with Krista and not Fallon. She’s taken quite a shine to Leo and is disturbed by the fact that Krista hasn’t told him that Seb kissed her. She might be a grump, but she is right that Krista should have told Leo about this.

Fallon helps Leo out with a bird poo-related emergency at the vineyard and seems to be trying to get closer to him – is she going to try to steal him from Krista? Maybe her kink is dating her sister’s exes?

What she does do is offer to act as their wedding planner, which gives her an awful amount of access to opportunities to ruin their wedding. It’s not very often that a wedding goes off without a hitch in Erinsborough anyway, but there’s bound to be some sort of disaster if there’s someone actively trying to ruin it from the inside. She’s even eyeing up Krista’s wedding dress which, incidentally, looks like some sort of nightie.

I actually can’t wait to see what she does to try to bring Krista down, even if Krista doesn’t really deserve it.

Aaron Gets Spiked

Aaron decides to ask Rhett for another chance, but he finds out that Rhett has already moved on and got himself a new boyfriend, which I am sad about because Rhett and Aaron were really cute together. Aaron decides to drown his sorrows, and joins Holly, Max and some others at The Waterhole.

Max has had a blast from the past in the form of the friend of his who was given roofies. She also joins them in the bar, and later on the whisky Max was about to drink gets spiked with something. After someone puts a cherry in it, the drink gets passed around because nobody wants it, until eventually Aaron downs it and immediately gets fighting drunk. He refuses to walk home with the others when they leave and instead starts wandering around the neighbourhood, behaving erratically. After sleeping on the grass, he gets up and goes over to the share house, climbs into their pool and passes out.

Enter the hero of the hour, Trevor, who barks and barks until Andrew comes to see what’s going on. He spots Aaron, pulls him out of the pool, but then proceeds with some very bad practice when he begins to administer first aid, which you’d think a police office would be trained in. For future reference, if you find someone unresponsive and you’re on your own, you call emergency services first and pop them on speaker phone before you start doing CPR. Otherwise what’s your plan? Do CPR forever and hope someone else comes along to relieve you? CPR is really tiring, as is yelling for help. PHONE FOR HELP FIRST, ANDREW.

Anyway, Aaron is saved, but he justifiably feels really scared and violated. Max, meanwhile, is spooked. It’s too much of a coincidence that his old friend turns up and then this happens. His first thought is that the people who are after him have tracked him down by following his friend, but my guess is that she isn’t actually the friend he thinks she is.

Remi and Taye’s Family Drama

Remi and Taye’s relationship continues to be a bit spicy, but a lot of things come to light when their dad turns up. Remi doesn’t understand why Taye thinks she never wanted anything to do with him, while he is heartbroken because he’s always looked up to her but felt rejected.

I didn’t expect to warm to Taye, but the bit when he confesses to Remi how much he idolises her is truly heart wrenching and I can feel myself starting to root for him a bit more already.

It turns out that it was their father who kept them apart, not passing on invitations to family gatherings and generally trying to keep his two families at arm’s length. It seems this might be the revelation needed for the two siblings to start rebuilding their relationship, and Remi later asks Taye to stay with them permanently.

Holly Has a New Enemy

Holly thinks she’s a dead cert for the piano bar manager job, even though her trial run with Paul and Terese turns into a scene from Fawlty Towers. Despite this, she still thinks she’ll get the job, and she even goes and treats herself to a whole wardrobe of new clothes in preparation for starting there.

Unfortunately it’s Taye who eventually gets the job, leaving Holly to rage at Krista for not giving it to her, especially since she managed to wangle a job for Seb at the coffee shop. I’m presuming this means that Holly is now mortal enemies with Taye, and possibly Krista as well. She’s already sour on Nicolette too, so she’s rapidly running out of allies.

Max is still very much on her side though, and I’m also coming round to the idea of them as a couple, they’re actually really cute together if you forget the weirdness of Holly’s mum dating Max’s dad for a bit.

Vera Is Still My Queen

I just had to mention Vera reeling off all the different names for condoms and all the different STIs that old people are busy catching, declaring them to be “worse than koalas”. She’s absolutely hilarious and every scene she’s in is pure gold, especially with Moira as her comedy partner. Absolutely classic Neighbours silliness.

A Few Random Notes

As usual, here are a few random notes I took while watching Neighbours this week:

• Yes, Krista and Paul – people laughing and making jokes about how rich they are is always going to go down well if you tell them in front of people who aren’t rich.
• Do Krista and Leo want to tone down the PDAs in front of her grumpy sister?
• I have set fire to a menu in a restaurant exactly like that. 
• Moira: “The room has been sullied.”
• Vera is using the “whoever smellt it dealt it” detective technique to unravel the condom mystery.