Another week of Neighbours has whizzed by, and there’s plenty to talk about, so let’s get to it.
Jane Nicks Vic From Under Melanie’s Nose
Vic has two dates in one night, and at the first one, Jane launches herself at him and tells him that she has feelings for him again. Rather than texting Melanie to cancel, Vic just stays at Jane’s to talk it through, standing Melanie up.
He at least has the decency to visit Melanie the following day to explain what happened, and Melanie is awfully polite about the whole thing, putting a brave face on it in front of Vic. After he leaves she breaks down, revealing how devastated she really is.
Jane goes ahead and calls a family meeting to tell the whole family that her and Vic are back together. Not only is it super awkward to sit and tell your children all about kissing their dad, it’s a touch premature considering that Vic didn’t reciprocate when she told him she had feelings. The following day he does go back and tell her that he wants to give things another go with her though, seemingly forgetting all about Melanie, who he’s been sniffing around for ages.
Honestly, I don’t understand why this slime ball has two women vying for his attention, it’s completely baffling to me. Even with his new efforts to be a nice guy, he just gives me distinctly bad vibes.
Holly Receives Some Hard Truths
Holly receives the psychological report which her lawyers are going to use at her court date. She’s devastated by the findings, basically gleaning from it that she’s a hot mess, which we all kind of already knew.
Karl, though, decides to make it all about him by acting with complete indignation about the report, which calls him an often absent, yet over-indulgent father. Tell me the bit that’s incorrect, Karl. Fair play to Holly, she tells Karl that she doesn’t have the energy to make him feel better about the report while she’s dealing with it all herself. And she is absolutely right, Karl needs to get it together and have a word with himself.
Karl covers himself in even more parenting glory when he hears Holly leave the house in the middle of the night, and follows her to the tram. When he finds her lying on the floor of the tram with Felix he goes ballistic, and doesn’t give Holly a chance to explain what’s really going on, he just jumps to the conclusion that they’re hooking up. But why should she have to explain that her and Felix are just friends anyway? She’s an adult, and it’s not up to Karl who she gets involved with. There’s being concerned, and then there’s yelling at Holly and Felix like they’re a pair of naughty teenagers.
Eventually Karl realises he’s being a muppet, and he has a lovely chat with Holly where he tells her that all he wants is to listen to what she needs. About time.
The Varga-Murphys Find Themselves in a Bit of a Mess
Remi and Cara are brilliant parents, so it’s a bit beyond me how they’ve ended up with two such daft sons.
Dexter has got the wrong end of the stick about the family finances thinking that his mums can’t afford to pay for his IT courses, when in actual fact they are looking into paying for IVF, so he goes to get himself a job at Grease Monkeys. Felix sees him on the way to his interview, and he gives him a few tips, so Dex invites him for dinner on a whim, and elects not to tell his mums.
When Felix turns up as a surprise guest for dinner, Cara and Remi are left on the back foot at first, but things soon become a bit less awkward. Until, that is, the news about Dex’s job comes out and JJ suddenly realises why his mums are examining their finances so closely. Rather than speak to his mums in private, JJ yells at the top of his lungs about their plans to have another baby, which prompts Felix to casually offer his services as a sperm donor. I really feel like this is not something you should offer in the same tone you would use to offer to lend a neighbour your leaf blower. Bloody hell, Felix.
I know Cara and Remi already have one child who is biologically Felix’s, but look what a disaster he is. Do they really want another one like that? Why are they surrounded by so many morons?
Terese Hits Rock Bottom (and a Gas Pipe)
Terese has continued to get absolutely trolleyed at every opportunity, and she’s also still managing to hide it from most people. Paul is on to her though. He’s figured out that Terese couldn’t have been to visit Piper, so he knows that she’s lying for some reason.
Terese has to stay late at Eirini Rising to accept a delivery, and she gets hammered while she’s waiting, then she gets into her car and drives off, reversing into a gas pipe as she does. As gas pours into the complex, all hell breaks loose, with Gino stepping up to get everyone out of the building. Karl and Susan head to help, but nobody can get hold of Terese, so Paul goes to her house and finds her passed out on the sofa.
When Terese realises that it was her who hit the gas pipe and caused the gas leak, she is riddled with guilt, especially since Gino ends up having a heart attack in hospital after his heroic actions at the complex. Predictably Paul leaps to her defence and starts to make plans to cover for her and hide the evidence of her drunk driving. Paul loves nothing more than a crisis to sort out in order to win his way back into someone’s heart, it’s his love language. If there’s a way he can throw money at the problem, then it’s even better.
Another Lame Ramsay Street Party
The share house decides to throw one of Ramsay Street’s rubbish parties for Halloween. It’s in broad daylight, and it ends up being just as lame as every other party that’s ever been held in Erinsborough.
I’m a traditionalist when it comes to Halloween costumes, and I firmly believe that they should be scary/spooky, so as cute as it is for Cara and Aaron to dress up as each other, these are not costumes for Halloween. The only person who gets their costume dead on is Nicolette as the grim reaper. It’s perfection. No notes.
The only real happening at the party is the unveiling of Vera and BRhett’s plot to sell Vera’s house and have her move into the share house instead, which is the real horror story of Halloween. A side product of this revelation is Aaron realising that BRhett was never stalking him, he was just conducting Vera’s sneaky business by valuing both houses for her. Is he going to become a regular character now? I don’t think I’d mind Aaron and BRhett together, he’s kind of cute in an eager, toothy sort of way. Although, if he’s going to become a regular, I should probably figure out if he’s called Brett or Rhett, because I still don’t know.
I’m absolutely pumped for Vera to move into the share house – she’s such an icon, and her pumpkin costume was incredible. I love her SO much, in fact I think I might want to be her when I grow up.
A Few Random Notes
As usual, here are a few random notes I made while watching Neighbours this week.
- Whoever is the real owner of Terese’s house has made a right mess of the garden. It looks like an exclusion zone.
- Imagine the real owner of that house seeing how all the characters are dragging how they’ve done the garden?
- Ugh, why does Nell have to keep coming back?
- FELIX YOU CANNOT JUST CASUALLY OFFER TO DONATE YOUR JIZZ.
- So, Remi and Cara’s outrage about Felix’s offer means they’re eventually going to say yes.
- I’m 97 years old and I can’t hear the party dialogue because the music is too loud.
- Paul knows a mechanic who’s “very discreet”. What are the circumstances that lead you to having a discreet mechanic in your contacts list?!
