When looking at the notes I made while watching the past week of Neighbours, I hadn’t actually written much, and most of what I had written was full of swears. So, this might be a little more brief than usual.
This Week’s Bin Bag Award Goes To…
… Aaron. Yes, he’s still grieving, and grief does strange things to people, but that does not give him the right to drag Krista down with him. She’s an adult and she can make her own bad choices, but for Aaron to be actively partying with her and encouraging her to go on all-night benders is the crappiest behaviour I’ve ever seen Aaron displaying.
It’s during one of these benders that Krista finally puts all the pieces together and realises that Chelsea is the one to blame for locking her in the sauna. She’s seen the cringey IT guy in Chelsea’s hotel room one too many times for it to be a coincidence, and she goes to confront Chelsea about it. There’s a scuffle, Chelsea knocks Krista over, and she hits her head with a thunk that could probably be heard all the way from Ramsay Street.
Once in the hospital, there’s no hiding that Krista has relapsed, yet Aaron continues to hide the truth from everyone about what’s been going on, despite the fact that he can clearly see how worried her family and friends are about her. At one point he says to Krista, “We’ve got to look after each other.” You flipping what, mate? Getting a recovering addict off their face is not looking after them, you absolute horse.
Eventually, he comes clean and Nicolette is understandably furious at first. After a talk from Jane, she seems to forgive Aaron, but she is also making a note of all of his transgressions on her phone, presumably with a view to making a case against him having custody of Isla. I can’t say I blame her honestly, he belongs in a landfill.
The Way to Win Your Wife Back is Via Vomit, Apparently
Terese is in bed sick with some sort of food poisoning, and she wakes to find Nell and Hugo by her bedside. They immediately summon a newly haircutted Toadie, and he refuses to leave Terese on her own. I was torn between finding this endearing and annoying. It’s sweet he wants to care for her, but she explicitly tells him to leave several times and he ignores her, which is a little bit pushy considering the state of their marriage.
Paul comes barrelling in to see Terese, even though Terese gave him the hairdryer treatment earlier for how he’s been using Chelsea. He is honestly clueless – she tore him a new one over his behaviour and the fact that he’ll never change, and yet he’s there yelling at Toadie for using Terese’s illness to worm his way back in. What are you doing then, Paul? Take your toastie and naff off.
Suck It, Paul
For once Paul is right, and Toadie does indeed seem to have managed to worm his way back into Terese’s affections slightly, as she tells him and the kids not to leave yet, throwing Toadie a bit of a lifeline.
Paul really thought he was getting back into Terese’s life, but her discovery that Paul’s relationship with Chelsea is superficial at best has enraged her, and now Toadie’s back on the scene and back in Terese’s house, Paul finds himself at a distinct disadvantage, which is something that I enjoy immensely.
WHEN IS CHELSEA LEAVING????
I thought we were about to get a delicious end to the Chelsea saga when Krista realised she was the one who locked her in the sauna. Unfortunately, once she sobered up she couldn’t remember anything about this revelation, so Chelsea lives to fight another day. But the end has to be near, surely. Chelsea knows that Paul isn’t really interested in her, she knows that her big sauna secret is only just bubbling below the surface, and the only person who likes her is Geoff, the tragic French champagne-drinking IT guy.
Chelsea’s downfall has to be imminent, SURELY?
Haz-ard Warning
Haz does a runner and it appears he’s gone to work with Wade in the deepfaking business. Mackenzie becomes a little obsessed with trying to track him down and goes into Miss Marple mode. In a twist that I’m embarrassed not to have figured out, Haz is working with the police and wearing a wire. He’s absolutely not cut out for undercover work though, as he’s making it incredibly obvious to Wade that something is going on, and Wade does a runner before he does anything the police can arrest him for. Haz goes in pursuit, and it’s at this moment that Karl and Mackenzie come driving along.
Going at roughly 3 miles per hour, Mackenzie “hurtles” towards Haz as he runs after Wade. Her car visibly stops before Haz hurls himself over the bonnet. Now I am the clumsiest person on earth, but even I’ve never managed to be hit by a stationary car. I think this was supposed to look dramatic, but it looked so funny I had to rewind it and watch it three times.
Somehow, Haz appears to have sustained life-threatening injuries from being run over by a stationary car, so I will definitely proceed with more care next time I’m in a car park. I kind of hope Mackenzie has done him in, as awful as that would be for her. I’m so bored of him now. Everything about him winds me up, not least that all of his clothes are selected exclusively from the brown part of the colour spectrum.
Maybe Chelsea and Haz (Chaz?) could end up as a couple and sod off together.
