It’s been quite the week at work, so my brain honestly feels like it’s been in a tumble dryer for several days. As such, I’m finding it a little difficult to organise my thoughts about Neighbours and figure out what actually happened this week, but I will do my best.
JJ is Also Having A Bit of A Week
JJ has found himself caught up in a battle with the resident middle-aged delinquent, Slade. After dobbing him into the cops, Slade now has it in for him, so he gives JJ a bit of a beating. JJ, who I believe won my made-up prize for making the worst decisions in 2023, continues in the same vein and decides that the best thing to do to protect himself is to steal a big old knife from Harold’s and stash it at school.
Of course, the knife is found immediately, and the whole school has to go into lockdown while they figure out where it came from. The kids are locked in a classroom, where Nell spends the entire time bleating like a goat, and JJ spends it looking as guilty as it is possible for a human to look. Dex notices this, because he has eyes, and confronts JJ. Later on, JJ finds it significantly less terrifying to confess his sins to the policeman across the street than to either of his slightly intimidating mums. I can’t say I blame him actually, I’m a little bit scared of both of them too.
Terese is Off With the Fairies
Terese has found herself caught between a husband who simply cannot stop trotting over to whinge about her to his ex-wife and her piece of actual trash ex-husband, who is still very firmly in goblin mode, spending 80% of his time in his executive dressing gown. Terese wants to be there for Paul, and Toadie’s inability to stay away from Mel is pushing her further towards her ex.
Terese can’t even focus enough to be mentally present during the school board’s visit to the building site, spending the entire time staring off into space. Jane may as well have drawn a face on a balloon and popped a hard hat on top for all the good it did having Terese there. Jane had bigger fish to fry once the knife was discovered anyway, and for someone with the nervous energy of a chihuahua, Jane does pretty well in a crisis.
I’ve heard people say that grief is like a whirlpool – you can be circling quite sedately right at the top, but then something can drag you right back down into the furious centre again, and that seems to be what’s happening to Terese at the moment. She’s clearly revisiting the grief surrounding the loss of her son, Josh, triggered by Paul’s loss of David, and it’s bringing out protective feelings towards Paul. There’s only one problem, though – the harridan in the loud lipstick.
Chelsea Continues to be the Absolute Worst
There’s not much to say about Chelsea other than that she is completely rotten from the inside out. I bet if you were to undo her stitches like Oogie Boogie from A Nightmare Before Christmas, she too would just be full of little bugs.
First, she’s ordered a very expensive batch of her own perfume on behalf of the hotel because she had some debts to pay, and now she’s putting Josh’s memorial plaque in the bin. I understand that she feels threatened by Terese, but to throw away the memorial plaque commemorating her dead child is absolutely beyond the pale. She is REVOLTING.
One thing I do enjoy about this storyline is Leo’s absolute lack of sympathy for Paul. He can see that Chelsea is attempting to rinse him dry, but Leo is very much in favour of just letting her get on with it. As far as Leo is concerned, Paul can eff around and find out.
Sadie is Being Indecisive
Sadie confides in her friends that she’s never had sex and that she’d quite like to just casually get her first time over with, and it was actually really refreshing to hear this subject being discussed so freely. Holly picks up on some chemistry between Sadie and Byron, so Sadie decides to ask him if he’d like to have sex with her. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with this, except that she decides to ask him while Wendy is flapping around in the background. Nooo, Sadie. No. That talk should be had miles and miles away from your mother’s ears. Because knowing Wendy, she’d want to supervise.
Andrew Has a Shifty Brother
Speaking of Wendy, she is all for letting Andrew’s dodgy brother come to live with them when he gets out of prison and keeps telling everyone that he “just got caught up” in all those robberies. I mean, whomst among us hasn’t got accidentally caught up in a robbery? I know it happens to me all the time. Wendy is absolutely mad.
But I WAS RIGHT! I flipping knew that JJ’s dad storyline wasn’t over! What I enjoyed particularly this week was Andrew casually throwing in a reference to being adopted, which would explain why the DNA tests didn’t come back saying he was JJ’s uncle.
I still have some questions about how this all played out, but mostly my question is what the heck was Philippa’s deal? Why was she just chucking sperm around like it was confetti? I can’t wait to see how this one all goes down. Not only is JJ’s dad going to be a neighbour, he’s going to be a criminal, which Remi and Cara will not be cool with. I’m going to need a bucket of popcorn for this one!
