It felt like a pretty low-stakes week on Neighbours last week, but I think that’s just because they’re going to absolutely kick seven bells out of us next week, judging from the teasers. But I don’t mind a quiet few days, so let’s enjoy it while we can…
Trevor Is a Boomerang
Since Haz found out that Trevor’s original family is in the area and actively wants to get him back, he’s been in lockdown, only walking Trevor at night or letting him out in the back garden under supervision. He finally decides that the only way he can live any kind of normal life is to meet with Trevor’s original owner and discuss it face-to-face.
They meet up, and she embarks on some impressive emotional blackmail, giving Haz a sob story about how much her child misses his dog and how he’s forever waiting for him to come home.
Haz feels awful, and he comes to the decision that he has to give Trevor back. However, Trevor has other ideas and immediately does a Great Escape in order to boomerang right back to Haz. Mackenzie has the bright idea of coming up with some sort of shared custody arrangement, which is honestly such a simple solution. I don’t know why none of them came up with it before now.
She goes to speak to Trevor’s current owners, and they basically say that Trevor’s miserable and they’re going to give him back. Just like that – no talking about giving him a few days to settle back in or anything sensible like that, they just don’t want the dog anymore. They’ve been absolutely busting a gut to get him back, and they give it about a day before they decide they won’t keep him. These people don’t deserve the sweet prince that Trevor is.
Mack delivers Trevor back to Haz, and he’s so thrilled that they get carried away and finally get together. Having said they were going to respect the communal areas of their shared house, Byron immediately walks in to find them all over each other on the settee. Then he escapes out of the back door to find David and Aaron canoodling in the pool. The poor guy just wants to heat up his pie in peace instead of carrying it around, cradling it like it’s his pastry child.
I think I’m over Haz and Mackenzie already, mostly because Haz has been so unlikeable lately. I hope this is the start of him redeeming himself.
Chelsea is Awful
I seem to have a huge allergic reaction to any new character that arrives in Erinsborough anyway. Still, Chelsea is giving me a full-blown anaphylactic shock because she is awful. I immediately didn’t like her, but I started to break out into hives when she was practising her signature on a napkin for when she marries Paul Robinson. Are you actually serious, Chelsea? I used to do this with members of New Kids on the Block when I was about nine, and it’s beyond pathetic.
She sets about trying to charm Paul by squirting perfume at him, which is the last thing that would persuade me to want to do business with someone. She talks him into letting her set up a pop-up stand in the complex but gets shut down by Krista for not having the correct permits. So I guess she’s going to have to try a different way to worm her way into Paul’s affections. Gross. Someone pass me some heavy-duty antihistamine.
Mel’s a Mess
After her first date ended in a catfishing disaster, Mel decides to get back in the saddle and try dating again. This time, she asks out her jolly fruit dealer, Santo. They have the world’s most awkward date, which ends with the world’s most awkward kiss. What I couldn’t understand was why you would even go in for a kiss when the entire date has been like pulling teeth, but I’m no expert on romance.
The next day, Jane sees Mel and Santo having a debrief at Harold’s, where they decide just to be friends, and she assumes incorrectly that they must be incredibly keen on each other if they’re meeting again so soon. Jane, who can be as subtle as a bucket of custard sometimes, lets slip that Therese is a little bit unhappy about Melanie still being on the street. I think this is out of order. First of all, it’s none of Jane’s business, and she should keep her mouth shut. Secondly, Therese has no right to get annoyed at Melanie’s continued presence when she’s the one who arranged for her to move in with the Kennedys in the first place. Even if Melanie has been around longer than expected, it’s unreasonable to be annoyed that she’s still there.
Melanie makes a bad situation worse by panicking and pretending that things went well between her and Santo and that she thinks it’s the start of something. I’m going to guess it’ll be about five minutes into Monday’s episode when this lie starts to unravel and leaves Melanie in an even more awkward situation than she was before.
Nicolette is On Edge
Nicolette goes to see Sasha and asks him to tell Veronica that they never had an affair, thinking that this will diffuse the situation. It doesn’t, which is terrible news. Even worse news is that Nicolette’s grotesque green leather coat is back.
Veronica goes absolutely stratospheric at Nicolette and makes some alarming threats, leaving Nicolette feeling exceptionally on edge. So on edge, in fact, that when she comes home to find Wendy doing some laundry in their kitchen, she immediately yeets her across the room. All the stress gives David and Aaron the idea that they should all get away for the weekend to calm their jangled nerves.
Disaster is Imminent
I’ve seen a couple of teasers but haven’t read any spoilers, so I don’t know exactly what will happen next. However, it’s pretty clear that something bad is going to occur this weekend away.
My bet is something is happening to either David and/or Aaron simply because they’re behaving extremely happy and loved up. They’re making plans for the future, which we all know is a terrible thing to do when you live on a soap opera…
