I’m going to have to try hard not to write my entire round-up just on Monday’s episode this week because it was so much fun. I just looked back on the notes I take during the week, and it’s literally all about Monday, so I apologise if there’s something I’ve missed.
The Great Erinsborough Riot of 2023
The big event is the protest at the school, which gets off to a hilarious start for me with the way that Wendy, Sadie, and Nicolette tear out of the street as if they’re going to do a bank heist. Once at the school, there’s a bit of placard-waving while Summer broadcasts what must be the dullest podcast ever made, interviewing past Erinsborough High students.
In what seems like the fastest escalation in the history of civil unrest, the protest goes from halfheartedly chanting “save our school” to a full-blown riot in the space of about thirty seconds, with the mob smashing their way into the school and running amok in the corridors.
Erinsborough police turn up and are largely useless, especially since Andrew is too busy having a barney with Wendy to actually do any policing. It turns out that Terese has her own army of black-clad security guards, who are completely absent from the site until things have got out of hand when they start trying to disperse the protesters, but they’re also a bit pathetic as well.
The most efficient form of crowd control appears to be Terese, clad in her leather jacket and stilettos, thundering around the school and kicking everyone out. She is absolutely killing it.
I really can’t stress enough how much I enjoyed Monday’s episode. It was peak Neighbours, with just enough drama and just enough nonsense – the perfect blend if you will.
Some Old Faces Return
One of the most fun things about Monday’s episode was the old faces that returned to support the school. I love nothing more than a reference to 1980s or 1990s Neighbours, so to see Michelle Scully, Melissa Jarrett, and Brett Stark was such a treat for me. I did actually bellow “BRETT!” at the TV when he turned up in his horrible Hawaiian shirt, so heaven knows what my neighbours thought I was doing.
Mel Gets Yeeted
Terese’s security guards truly are completely useless, and they prove this by yeeting Mel down the stairs, then just turning off the lights and scuttling off without noticing. How did they not notice her? OK, they were having a bit of a scuffle with Marty, but how on earth did they not notice that an entire woman was there one minute and not there the next? Where on earth did Terese find these people?
Richie Needs to Come Back as a Permanent Character Immediately, Please
I had to give this bit from Monday’s episode its own little section because I enjoyed it so much. I actually think Richie might just have become my favourite thing from the whole year.
Richie is bowling along with a load of younger kids, showing them where they had the protest for Mackenzie when there was an issue about which bathroom she should use when two of Terese’s henchmen come and grab him and drag him along the corridor by his feet. While he’s being dragged, Richie spots Terese and Toadie and indulges in a bit of small talk, just chatting crap at them as he’s being pulled across the floor by his ankles. What a hero.
The best bit is when Terese looks down and says, “Did you even like coming to this school?” and Richie replies, “Not really, but who’s to say you can’t learn and grow?”
Legend. I was absolutely cackling.
Wendy Demands to Be Arrested
Wendy continues to be a total nutter as she learns that Nicolette has been arrested for organising the protest and barges into the police station, demanding to be arrested as well. When Andrew refuses, she starts knocking items off the desk and yelling about being a menace to society. Andrew is eventually forced to arrest her for public nuisance, which is something she’s been doing for decades if the evidence is anything to go by. If it weren’t for Richie’s solid comedy turn, Andrew would have the best line of the week as he watches her get taken to the cells and yells, “You have the right to remain silent. Please exercise it!”
Melanie to Move In
It’s touch and go for Melanie for a while, but as she begins to recover, Nell starts bleating about how Mel is going to manage on her own with a shoulder that’s held together with glue and pipe cleaners, so Terese goes to the Kennedys and asks them if they’ll take Melanie in while she gets back on her feet. She doesn’t consult Toadie about how he might feel about his ex-wife moving in with his pseudo-parents, nor does she ask Melanie whether she even wants to go. She just organises it all and expects everyone to be fine with it. It is going to end in disaster having Melanie back on the street, it’s got divorce written all over it.
Chloe’s Hospital Mystery
Nicolette goes to see Melanie in hospital and spots Chloe drifting around the corridor, following her to an appointment room. When she asks Chloe about it later, Chloe tries to say it wasn’t her, despite the fact that she is still wearing the same quite distinctive dress. Nicolette might be many things, but she’s not daft, and she knows there’s something going on. The obvious thing is that Chloe might be seeing some progression of her Huntingtons, but I’d like it to be something else because I really don’t want Chloe to be sick. Mostly this is because I really like Chloe, but it’s also because if Chloe is sick, then that means Elly will probably come back, and I just truly do not have the energy left to deal with her at this point in the year…
