It’s a slightly shorter Ramsay Street Round-up because I’ve been exhausted all week and I can barely string a sentence together, but I shall soldier on, because I really need to vent about Wendy. Here we go!
Whoa Nelly
Nell’s plotting and scheming finally falls down around her ears, as the piggy bank she sent to Melanie comes back marked “Return to Sender”. Toadie is furious, and a bit blindsided by the fact that Terese was aware that Nell was trying to plot to get rid of her and bring Melanie back. Toadie decides the only option is to tell the kids that Melanie left because she didn’t think she had what it took to be their stepmum.
Sidenote: I don’t want to sound too harsh because the actress who plays Nell is only a kid, but I would love it if the acting coaches worked on her wobbly upset voice with her a bit so she sounds less like an evil goat.
Now this is all sorted out and Nell has had an about-turn about Terese, Melanie is sure to return and immediately throw a cat among the piggy banks. It has to happen, right?
Also, never were more foreboding words spoken in Erinsborough as when Terese said, “No more secrets” to Toadie. That means she has several million secrets that are going to cause a whole heap of trouble in the very near future.
School Closure Drama
Jane is all in a flap about the school potentially being closed down, but honestly I’m rather struggling to care about this storyline. I am way more perplexed by how on earth Jane manages to fit a tea cosy, some flags and a baseball cap in her tiny handbag.
The only other remarkable bit of this story is that after Jane finds out that Terese is the “horrible developer” who wants to buy the school site, Terese goes home to do some rage-cleaning in her stilettos. Does she not own any slippers or comfy house shoes?
The Varga-Murphys look like they’re about to get embroiled in yet another neighbourhood drama, as an angry parent decides to try to overturn Jane’s punishment for his son’s homophobia (aimed at Dexter and his mums) by threatening to organise a mass removal of kids from the school.
Jane is going to be practically vibrating from the anxiety of all this, but again I was distracted by a minor detail during this storyline. The fact that Australians call inhalers, “puffers”, is absolutely sending me sideways. I really feel like it would undermine the gravitas of an asthma attack if you had to ask someone to get your puffer for you.
The Beach™
All of a sudden everyone is visiting this one very specific bit of beach. First Mackenzie goes there with Sadie and runs into Haz and his new girlfriend, who she finds sickeningly likeable, and then Byron takes Reece there to “show her a bit of his world.”
Now, I love Australia, but if someone was trying to wow me by showing me what the country had to offer, dressing me in an awful T-shirt and a very unflattering bucket hat, then handing me a pie, would leave me questioning why I’d spent so long on a plane to get there. Is this really the best that Byron could do? My favourite bit is when he warns her the pies are hotter than the surface of the Sun, when in actual fact they look like they’ve been cooked on a lukewarm radiator.
The bucket hat and tepid pie seems to have smoothed everything over between Reece and Byron for now anyway, despite Paul’s best efforts. I particularly enjoy Paul figuring out Reece has a toyboy because apparently Reece’s dad is too old to wear the incredibly plain jumper that Terese finds the receipt for.
Did anyone else pick up on Reece saying her stepmum lives in Zurich? Is this a link to Elly and Boring Shaun? Didn’t they move to Switzerland?
The award for the best dialogue goes to Paul this week, for referring to Byron as a “local delicacy.” Perfect. No notes.
WTF Wendy
Wendy has gone from being a touch manic and massively socially awkward last week to being utterly unhinged this week. First, she’s outraged when Cara gives her a dirty look in the street.
“Oh my god, did you see the look she gave me?” she yelps, in shock. Yes, Wendy, we all saw it, and none of us blame her for it because you accused her son of stealing something which you now know he absolutely didn’t do. And you haven’t apologised for it. I’d be giving you the stinkface as well!
Mostly because she’s jealous that Cara got the job they both went for, Wendy has decided that Cara is “shifty” and has started trying to dig up some dirt on her. Calling Cara shifty is a bit rich when, based on pretty much nothing, she sends Sadie snooping in Paul’s office to look at confidential files in the form of Cara’s CV. Great parenting, Wendy.
I really need this all to go tits up for Wendy, because she is making me want to rip my own foot off and chuck it at the telly at the moment.
Love it, love it, love it!