© Channel 5

I promise that my head is back in the game this week, after posting my last round-up comically late and then skipping a week to go back home for my brother’s wedding. Lucky for you that I only have one sibling, and he’s hopefully only going to get married once. Unlike in Erinsborough, there were no explosions or disasters at the wedding, which was a relief! Speaking of that, the only disaster occurring in Neighbours at the moment is the whole Nicolette saga, but boy is it an absolute humdinger, so let’s crack on with trying to make some sense of it all.

Tenaka Tensions

After Nicolette’s disappearing act, David intends to channel all of his frustration into hating Chloe, Leo, and Paul, which is mostly fair enough at this point. Tensions boil over between Leo and David, and David punches his twin right in the chops. I’ll be honest, David is usually so nice and mild-mannered that I didn’t think he had it in him. I think if it was me, I would probably have gone for Paul first, but David doesn’t have the full picture about what the final straw was that broke Nicolette’s back yet.

Aaron is doing his best to try to keep David on an even keel, but David is having absolutely none of it, and you can tell he’s really upset because his hair is now permanently messy. I know that the arrangement between David, Aaron, and Nicolette was for them all to co-parent, and I might be over-simplifying things here. Still, Nicolette is pregnant with David’s biological child, so he has legal rights when it comes to seeing the baby. Obviously, they’re going to be devastated that the co-parenting arrangement has fallen through, but regardless of where she is or whether she’s coming back or not, David can take legal action in order to be able to see his child, so why are they all acting like they’re never going to see Nicolette or the baby again? She’s not missing in the sense that she’s suspected of having come to harm, she’s just decided to go and live somewhere else, and in 2021 it’s quite difficult to remain under the radar for too long. She’s about to have a baby – there will be traceable records. Why is nobody talking about his legal rights as the biological father? Doesn’t it seem weird to anyone else that literally nobody has mentioned that?

Brennan Bother

Aaron and Chloe also have a huge argument about the disintegration of Chloe and Nicolette’s relationship, with Aaron giving Chloe a real roasting for being flighty and self-sabotaging when it comes to relationships. I’m not saying I’m on Chloe’s side in all of this, but I do feel a bit sorry for her. She was having doubts about the relationship and wanted things to slow down, but at the exact moment that she was going to tell her girlfriend that, Nicolette got down on one knee and proposed in public. I can see why Chloe felt pressured into going along with it, despite her doubts. It was a lose-lose situation for her, and whenever she decided to tell Nicolette how she felt was going to be the wrong time. Maybe it would have been better not to embark on a relationship with the woman carrying her brother-in-law’s baby in the first place, but that ship is already in the middle of the Pacific ocean at full sail.

As if things weren’t complicated enough for Chloe right now, Leo throws another spanner in the works by making it clear that he wants a relationship with her. Jesus Leo now is not the time. Just hold that thought for a couple of months, maybe?

Not now, Leo. Photo: © Channel 5. Source: Digital Spy

Polyamorous Pickle

The Amy, Levi, and Ned situation has finally got as complicated as it is possible to be, with Ned suggesting that Amy embarks on a polyamorous relationship with both of them. Levi is kind of horrified at first and sits staring into the middle distance, but Amy seems a little bit more receptive. Overnight they both do a switcheroo, with Levi deciding he’s up for it, but with Amy ending up not too sure on the idea. It did amuse me greatly that Ned’s capacity to think came up a couple of times, with Ned saying that there was nothing worse than overthinking things, which is not something that I think he can ever be accused of. Amy making a comment about Ned not having thought it through. No, he probably didn’t – like all Willis men, he’s not known for being a great thinker. Amy isn’t sure that she wants to get herself into such a complicated situation, but I’m kind of thinking that it’s the most simple solution. She likes them both, and they’re both interested in her, so why the heck not? Relationships come in all shapes and sizes, and I doff my hat to Neighbours for touching on the subject of polyamory, even if it doesn’t actually end up happening.

Levi bowls Ned and Amy over with his enthusiasm. Photo: © Channel 5. Source: Digital Spy

Harlow is Definitely Turning Evil

I’m calling this one as a certainty now – Harlow is going to go evil and turn into a mini-Paul Robinson. After Chloe gets her job back at Lassiter’s, Harlow gets pushed out, and she’s not happy about it. When Chloe drops one of her tasks partway through completing it, Paul teams up with Harlow to get it finished and make Chloe look unprofessional. Harlow acts like she feels bad about it, but I’m not convinced. I really do sense that there’s going to be a new ruthless Robinson in town before too long. It has to happen!

Get in the Bin, Paul

On the subject of Paul, he definitely belongs in a bin this week, or maybe even one of those trash compactors that squash things down into a little cube. He knows full well that he’s the one who caused Nicolette to leave, and yet he’s letting Chloe and his own son take most of the blame. And what exactly was he expecting would happen when he told an already emotionally volatile and insecure person that nobody cared about her? He’s truly the worst.

It Comes as No Surprise to Anyone that Melanie is Unhinged

Talking of the worst, Melanie is still hanging around like a bad smell, because unbelievably, things are still going strong between her and Toadie. Things might not be going smoothly for long if Karl, Susan, Sheila, and Hendrix have anything to do with it though. Between the four of them, they’ve managed to find out that Melanie had an affair with a previous boss and then stalked him, with him eventually taking out a restraining order on her for doing things such as breaking into his wife’s car and leaving prawns under the seat. It’s the kind of thing she’s got form for, so Karl and Susan are seeing red flags all over the place and are torn about whether or not to warn Toadie. I hope they do, and I need Melanie to get gone. That whole quandary aside, this foursome of gossipmongers was the highlight of the week for me. My favourite bit was Susan labelling Hendrix’s clumsy attempt at pumping her for information as stupid and destined to fail, only for it to fool Karl about five minutes later. We already knew that Sheila, the Kennedys, and Hendrix were good for some comic relief individually but put them together, and they’re hilarious. I don’t know what caper I want this foursome to embark on next, but I definitely need them to have another funny storyline as soon as possible.