Full disclosure – I’m yet again writing this without having seen Friday’s episode. Life keeps getting in the way of my Neighbours viewing, and I am deeply unhappy about it.
Anyway, here is the round-up for the UK from Monday to Thursday last week.
All Is Not Well at the Canning House
We finally discovered why Sheila is weird around Levi, and it all dates back to when Kyle was more of an unpleasant dirtbag than the lovable oaf he is now. Apparently, some kids were coming to beat Kyle up, only Kyle wasn’t there, so they beat Levi up instead. Sheila knew who’d done it, but rather than call the police she just gave their parents a good talking to, which seems like a perfectly reasonable response to some people beating your grandson badly enough to leave him with epilepsy. Understandably Levi is furious, and immediately packs his bags, which Sheila weirdly and pointlessly also does, leaving Kyle to be sad by himself at Chez Canning. With Sheila’s brief foray into being a pirate, all the Roxy drama, and now this, I’m missing the usual silliness from everyone’s favorite bogans, so I hope they can sort all this out and get back to being Ramsay Street’s comic relief soon.
The Word Fandangle Was Used More Often Than I Ever Thought Possible
Roxy decides the best way to cheer Kyle up is to get her cousin to take some photos of her boobs, which I’ll admit has never once been my go-to method of trying to brighten someone’s day. My favourite moment of the week by a country mile was when Paul returned to find Ned photographing Roxy in a state of undress (albeit a rather wholesome and suitable for teatime viewing the state of undress), and went absolutely nuclear. Ned snapping a cheeky photo of Paul’s apoplectic reaction was literally the highlight of my very terrible week.
The photoshoot leads to Roxy telling Ned all about a website called Fandangle, where you can make money from thirst posts, and the word “fandangle” was used more in this scene than I think I’ve ever heard it in my entire life before. Interestingly, the word “fandangle” means “a useless or purely ornamental thing”, so it sounds absolutely perfect for Ned.
Terese is Catching Being Awful From Paul
Terese has been married to Paul for long enough for some of his awful to rub off on her, and she excels herself in Paul Robinson-style meddling by accidentally summoning Jane’s daughter to Erinsborough and then having to fetch Jane over from Perth in order to justify her interfering. She accidentally bribed a police officer the other week, so she really should be a bit more careful about how she words things when she’s trying to muck about in matters that don’t really concern her. Anyway, poor weepy Jane arrives, only for her and Nicolette to have several icy confrontations and end up possibly more unhappy than they were to start with. Jane’s subsequent request that Paul and Terese stay the heck out of her business is incredibly polite considering that all they’ve done so far is cause both Jane and Nicolette a lot of inconveniences, and cost them a lot of money in rescheduled airfares and extra nights in hotels.
How Have Aaron and David Been Allowed to Have Another Kid to Lose and Pitch-Off Rooftops?
The world’s worst foster parents are at it again. Not content with having one foster kid to misplace or abandon at school, they decide to take in his older brother as well, who is clearly even more of a handful than the easily-led Emmett. And Emmett is so easily led that his big brother (Brad/Brent/Brett – I cannot seem to commit his name to memory. How about we settle on Brantt?) leads him up on to the roof, where he inevitably falls off and ends up in the hospital. I’m struggling to figure out how they’re even allowed one foster kid at the moment, let alone two. Maybe they should revert to their previous form and accidentally leave Brantt somewhere where they won’t find him again.