Schitt's Creek Television

Schitt’s Creek Episode 7

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Alexis and the girls are sensing something odd about this fitness class they joined. Photosource: CBC

Episode seven of Schitt’s Creek was already a hit with that title alone. I can’t believe it took a full six seasons for them to make a pun with rosé wine and the Rose family name. Well, it was worth the wait.

Even better, just like that title, this episode delivers the quintessential Schitt’s Creek flavor we know and love those previous episodes this season have lacked. It’s all there, Moira and David doing their signature prissy mommy-son bonding, Johnny putting himself into an uncomfortable social situation because of Roland, and Alexis trying to strike out on her own only for things to go seriously wrong. Really, all the hits are here.

Let us begin with the episode’s namesake, Moira. Since Patrick is spending the night at the motel, David promised him they would spend the day doing whatever he wanted that tragically turned out to be watching baseball, which in the hierarchy of boring things comes second only to actually playing baseball. But like the loving mother she is, Moira saunters over and snatches David away with her to sample wine at Herb Ertlinger’s vineyard. For those who may not remember, Herb was the vintner who recruited Moira for that wine commercial way back in season one, the one in which she suddenly couldn’t act at all. However, with the recent success of her Crows movie, Herb is willing to give Moira a second chance and offers to name whatever flavor of wine she and David pick out after her. It sounds like a fun redemption arc for our selective starlet, only, of course, that’s not how it goes.

This is Moira and David with copious amounts of wine and no supervision from their respective partners. It goes exactly as bad as you would think. The fact that each of the flavors makes them both gag does not stop them from trying them all, and once that’s done mixing them together. Yet, the tipsier they get the more the afternoon develops into a personal mother-son moment were Moira, cherishing her alone time with David, cannot help but reflect on how wonderful Patrick is for him and how perfect they are for each other. On theme, Moira compares their relationship to wine, it will get even better with time.

Unfortunately, the tender moment is cut short when Herb comes to ask them for their choice and David cannot find the only tolerable blend they manage to make and tries to remedy the situation by drinking more. Now that they’re clearly drunk and the deal will obviously not be happening anymore, Herb calls Johnny and Patrick to pick up the two boozers who dash them back to the motel.

Pretty apt since Patrick and Johnny spent this episode having their own heart-to-heart. When Roland found out Johnny gave Patrick the traditional dad “talk” about how to date his kid he offers to do it himself, which immediately sets Johnny off to do it before Roland can ruin the entire relationship. Sadly, Patrick is still watching baseball in the motel room and before Johnny can work to his main point he makes some cringe-worthy attempts to lead Patrick to the “talk” naturally, mainly by trying to discuss the virtues of cheese pizza and the state of baseball. Not exactly his forte. At one point he even yells “come on boys” to the tv.

Lucky Patrick is a sharp tool because he eventually figures out what’s going on and brings it up openly. He wants Johnny to know that he loves David and will do everything he can to protect him and that he loves being a part of the Rose family too. Likewise, Johnny says he never doubted Patrick would take care of his son. It’s not an overly complex or exciting plotline, but it’s also not often that you see two men communicate openly about their mutual support and appreciation for a loved one and each other. Plus, Patrick has hardly had any scenes with Johnny, compared to the ones he’s had with Moira and Alexis so it’s nice to even that score out a bit too.

Lastly, we turn to Alexis, who found a new route to expand her PR skills and spend time with her friends. A new company that she works for, Elevation, is having a fitness class and for every friend who signs up, Alexis gets a bonus. Thus, Ronnie, Twyla, Stevie, and Jocelyn show up to what looks like a spinning class all wearing the same loose long brown clothes the company forces all participants to wear. From there they go through the class pretty well, only afterward when everyone starts to sign up for a workshop they get the sense that something is not right. For one thing, the leader of the class, a man named Citrus, keeps talking about demons and a gateway into the sky participants can reach if they try hard enough and buy enough merchandise.

Yep, that’s right it’s a cult.

At least Alexis realized it before anyone could commit to it, and they managed to run out and escape through an emergency exit in the locker room. The whole storyline is hilarious, so eager to throw herself into work Alexis missed all the signs Stevie warned her about. On another note, how is this the first cult-based plotline on this show? I feel like each member of this family could fall for a cult and it would still be so entertaining. Alas, Alexis just brushed against a cult and got out right away which is good for her and still fun for us to watch, especially the rest of the family tease her about it, including Patrick.

Really, this episode was classic Schitt’s Creek funny and still had such wholesome bonding moments. The Roses may not have secured their rosé in the end but they did stop and smell the roses (just had to use the pun again!) Though we still can’t wait to see David and Patrick’ wedding, a heart-felt filler episode like this can keep Schitt’s Creek fans diverted, even happy, for now at least.

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