American Horror Story: Apocalypse Started With a Bang (Theories & Spoilers!)

This is a heavy spoiler look at where we think the season is going, so if you haven’t seen the premiere or don’t want to put on your foil hat turn back now! But before we analyze anything we want to give major kudos to Ryan Murphy, his team, and everyone involved because the writing and directing of this premiere was superb. With so many competitors in the post apocalyptic genre, even lately with the addition of The Rain to Netflix it was hard to not draw parallels and compare. But to the AHS’ credit they truly differentiated themselves from the genre and we are pleased as punch that they held off on bringing in old characters (save for Michael Langden at the end) and didn’t rest on their laurels — it was a smart decision and everyone I’ve discussed the episode with agrees. Having watched the episode multiple times qith different viewing mates, I can say the episode is well layered and they did an apropiate amount of information withholding and quick reveals that kept everyone engaged and questioning and then satisfied consistently. It was reminiscent of everything they did correctly with Roanoke and we are dying for more, so let’s dive into our rampant speculation and over thinking until the new episode gets here!

The first characters we meet are rich heiress Coco, her hair dresser, and personal assistant (Leslie Grossman, Evan Peters, and Billie Lourde, respectively). The opening scene is full of snark and banter that helps us both feel more invested in the characters but also keeps the show from feeling too horribly bogged down and depressing. Something about a nuclear apocalypse unsettles me and comedy is an appropriate coping mechanism.

So we’ve met the wealthier members of the cast, and they pick up Joan Collins who plays Evan Peters’ even wealthier, oit of touch grandma that I can onpy assume is very similar to her actual personality (and we are here for it). What we aren’t here for is how…underwhelmed and disconnected we feel to the genetically chosen cast members that are plucked from their lives by the collective. It isn’t the fault of the actors, Kyle Allen and Ash Santos (Ash has amazing face journeys and what feel like true reactions to the insanity of it all) but more that they weren’t given enough non-expositional dialogue throughout the episode for us to connect to. On the topic of Emily, who we have no pre-apocalypse glimpses of, we theorize that we will learn of her conplicated past in the next episode when Michael Langden assessesthe outposts remaining survivors, and we expect him to have issue with her romance with Timothy– presumably their special dna will save them but the no copulation rule will inevitably become an issue and we suspect a jealousy (and plain creepy) issue when they’re assigned mates.

In our speculation of who in the remaining survivors lives and who dies after inspection by the literal anti christ we assume it will be those willing to play the game that survive and those who aren’t that die. It’s a toss up on Mead and Venable, I assume Venable dies because she broke order and her leadership is no longer needed (and Sarah will be busy as other characters, while Mead is a good follower and gets to live, keeping Kathy Bates active in her only role). That leaves Adina Porter as Dinah Stevens a likely survivor, but who will likely have to watch her (son?) Steven die when he fails to comply because he has already been traumatized by Ms.’s Venable and Mead killing his boyfriend Stu and feeding him the Stu Stew. Joan Collins will likely die because of age and breeding prospects, which will likely be turned into a gag to insult Leslie Grossman’s character while her assistant Mallory (Billie Lourde) will be taken asba survivor (we also expect a joke to the tune of “i basically worked for the devil before, so what else is new” in reference to Coco).

If we extend our theories out, we believe Dinah Stevens will be the mouth piece that keeps record and reports to the inevotable (assumed) force of good Cordelia and her coven. This is fully speculation at this point, and we shouldn’t forget the 666 message and whispering that Timothy heard at his first shower (could he be a sensitive? Could Cordelia be trying to contact him? Some unforseen foreshadowing of a twist?!?). We are as excited as you to find out and will be here next week disecting the new episode!