Last week’s episode of “Drunk History” focused on civil rights. Here are our favorite moments from each narrator’s historical narrative!
Kirby Howell-Baptiste Explains Suffrage-Jitsu
The suffragette movement began with a woman named Emmeline Pankhurst who, with the help of Edith Garrud, trained small army of women in the art of Jiu-Jitsu to protect themselves during protests. As Kirby puts it, to “protect the titties!”
The suffragettes who trained were called “the bodyguard,” and Gertrude Harding was the cream of the crop. Derek, being Derek, naturally asked if she had any relation to Tonya Harding and Kirby lost her damn mind.
Derek: “Can you narrate every story? No one reacts to my jokes like that.”
“Oh, these titties? These titties get to vote now. Hell yeah.”
Crissle West Talks About the Birmingham Children’s March
Crissle’s story hilariously began with “the story sharts” instead of “the story starts.”
She very sorrowfully mumbled, “Don’t let the story shart…”
Crissle focused on Gwendolyn Sanders, a 7th grade African-American girl who aided Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. and the Civil Rights Movement. She stood and linked hands with other children while being sprayed with fire hoses during the Birmingham protests. She, among other children, apparently said, “Not today, bitch. Not today.”
Suzi Barrett Discusses the Section 504 Sit-In
Suzi’s historical tale follows the Jody Heumann’s actions that led to the establishment of the Americans with Disabilities Act. She discusses the sit-in that occurred in San Francisco, CA and how people from several different walks of life, including the Black Panthers and Jefferson Airplane, went out of their way to bring supplies to the protesters as they demonstrated in the halls of the Department of Health, Education and Welfare. Basically:
“If Woodstock was in an office building and filled with wheelchairs and medical supplies medical supplies, this is Woodstock.”
“When people start noticing that they’re being dicks then they start trying to fix…their dicks…that’s my favorite Dr. Seuss quote…oh I’m so dumb.”
And, this, my favorite drunk analogy of the season, came about while Suzi talked about Frank Bowe discussing how disabled people were treated like “third-class citizens” before 504 was signed:
“Why would you wanna be on the side of history that categorizes people rather than the side of history that’s like, liberating, and like…let’s be the pinata-“
“Break it and let everyone come out.”
The next episode of “Drunk History” focused on “Underdogs” and airs tonight, Feb. 27, 2018, at 7 p.m. on Comedy Central.