That’s it, the third season of Crazy Ex-Girlfriend has come to an end and everything is awful and it hurts.
Okay so maybe I’m being dramatic, but if you saw the episode, which I hope you did otherwise what are you even doing here, you understand why. People broke up, people tried to move in, babies were born, Instagram was almost involved in a murder, someone was pushed off a building, and someone pleaded responsible!
Let’s get into it
In the B plot, which is much less stressful than the A plot this episode, Heather is about to pop. In her last doctors appointment, she’s accompanied by Paula, Darryl, Rebecca, Hector, Valencia, & Beth. When she asks the doctor if it will hurt, Queen Paula goes all “no vagina, no opinion” and takes it upon herself to describe the miracle of life in all of it’s disgusting glory.
This leads to one of the shows greatest musical number, not just in song and lyrics but in production value and in respect to how fabulous Donna Lynne Champlin looks and sounds! Eventually, Heather gives birth and shatters the nonsensical trope of the woman screaming and crying for days (she had an epidural, she’s fine) while also reuniting Darryl with WiJo. Darryl missed his friend and so Queen H calls him over to meet the baby and be friends with his ex.
In other news, Rebecca is feeling awful and guilty and her therapy group convinces her to come clean to everyone. She starts hallucinating Trent EVERYWHERE and decides to confess, thinking it will get rid of her guilt and stop her conscience from trying to haunt her with her stalkery ex.
But y’all! she wasn’t hallucinating Trent, he was actually still stalking her! Before she finds this out though, she types up a confession letter – personalized to each friend – and calls a meeting where she reveals everything to Paula, Nathaniel, & Josh. I like to think Greg also got a letter in the mail, where she apologizes for sleeping with his father but that’s not canon yet so. Josh finally finds out that Rebecca (but mostly Nathaniel) almost had his grandfather killed and his father deported. Nathaniel learns of the hit Becks took out on Mona and his reaction is very “meh so what who cares”.
Paula though, now she is hella hurt. She finds out that Rebecca lied to her about the Trent blackmail and finally reaches her breaking point. She realizes she’s been enabling Rebecca’s behaviour and hasn’t been putting herself first, so she walks away.
This low point is when Rebecca gets into an elevator and sees the real Trent. She’s like oh shit you’ve been real this whole time. & they share this fantastic exchange:
Rebecca: I thought you were in Iowa
He’s back to get his revenge, because if he can’t have her, no one can. Rebecca tries desperately to get in touch with Paula and get her help. She can’t log in to the tracker on her own, and if she doesn’t know where he is she can’t feel safe EVER!
One night as she’s hiding out in the office, she gets a notification that Trent sent her some Instagram stories. He’s hiding out at Nathaniel’s housewarming party (he’s moving in with Mona, but she calls him Nat, and he loves Rebecca, and he’s damaged, so obviously that doesn’t last) and making real serious murder-y threats. Instead of taking screenshots, Rebecca runs over to the party and tries to save Nathaniel. I’m not saying that wasn’t the right thing to do, I’m just saying ALSO TAKE SCREENSHOTS DUMBDUMB!
At the party she sees Trent in a bad wig hovering over Nathaniel with a knife, runs towards them, freaks out, and pushes him over the edge of the building. Trent falls into a pool, but he fell from so high up that he breaks every bone in his body and has to get back into a full body cast.
Rebecca gets taken away in a police car and the next time we see her, she’s in an interrogation room when Nathaniel walks in. He tells her that he’s representing her, and that he’s broken up with Mona because he loves her. He also is like the only person who believes her crazy story because SHE DIDN’T TAKE SCREENSHOTS SO NOW SHE HAS NO PROOF.
He’s sure he can get her out of this situation though, all she needs to do is plead not guilty by reason of insanity. This would mean a lot for Rebecca who has spent 3 years proving she’s not insane. But Nathaniel convinces her through a beautiful ballad that totally misses the point, Nothing Is Ever Anyone’s Fault. Basically, they can’t be held accountable for their actions because their parents fucked them up and their parents fucked them up and Adam & Eve fucked everyone up so really everyone is blameless.
She’s totally into this plan until she’s in the courtroom, when Paula walks in. Looking into Paula’s eyes makes Rebecca want to own up to everything she’s done and really accept responsibility. I can’t decide if I’m happy for her and the breakthrough she seems to have made or if I’m annoyed that she chose to do it now when she could end up in literal jail. So to make Mama Paula proud, homegirl pleads guilty.
I KNOW RIGHT
We still don’t have official confirmation from the network that this magical show has been picked up for a 4th season, but hopefully that comes soon because this cliffhanger is worst than all the others.
Aline Brosh McKenna & Rachel Bloom have said before that this story has 4 acts and 4 seasons, and by all accounts the fourth season would be the final one, where they tell the story of Rebecca’s redemption and rebuilding from this extreme low point.
The more you talk about this show online, the more The CW will have to deal with the fact that Bunches are here to stay and we will riot if our show gets taken away. You can also watch the episodes on The CW App or Netflix. Finally you can tweet obsessively at The CW, but don’t be a troll, respect the social media intern on the other side.
Hopefully I will see you all next season, thank you for this epic ride!