It’s that time of year where the holiday festivities may get you into the DIY spirit. From small little crafts to decorating the outside of your home, there is nothing like putting your own stamp on things to show off your artistic flair to the universe.
But Austin, what if I have no home and am instead tasked with designing the latest Republic/Imperial/First Order tool of hope/fear/badassery that is the common star destroyer? Have no fear, you too can get in on this exciting time of year while cranking out the latest in a long line of terrifying space fortresses.
Whether your preferred crafty medium is food, paper, or one month’s material production output of a small, backwater moon, making star destroyers for the holidays is fun for the whole family. Yes, even if your family is under lock and key to keep your productivity up!
Here are a few (mostly real) decorating ideas to get you in the holiday, spacinautical engineering mindset.
Nailing The Basics AKA Triangles!
To really pull off the star destroyer look for the holidays, there is one thing you should repeat as if you just joined a hip, new Dathomir cult.
Embrace the Triangle.
Traditional star destroyer design stems from the iconic wedge shape that pierces into the hearts and minds of loyal citizens and treacherous dissidents alike. The shape makes nailing the basic design easy. As long as you covered basic shapes in elementary school (or have a friend to help you identify the shape of a triangle) you are good to go.
The beauty of the star destroyer wedge, beyond striking fear in the weak, is that it can be tailored to your personal tastes. Stretch it, squeeze it, make the shape your own. Want to achieve that classic Imperial I-class look? Feel like getting crazy with a hint of Venator-class? Care to take a stab (ahaha) at your own design? The sky is metaphorically the limit.
Don’t forget to accessorize the classic wedge shape with other elements to enhance the overall design. Add a command tower or two to get some height in the final look. Stick some engines if you are producing a physical craft like an ornament or actual star destroyer (they need those to move). Sprinkle in a healthy dose of turbolasers, torpedo launchers, shield generators, and gravity well projectors to get that familiar texture of the star destroyer.
Most importantly, try new things and ideas. What’s the worst that can happen? Maybe you displease the in laws or your hostage-family suddenly disappears, but what is reward without risk?
If working with copious amounts of durasteel isn’t in your wheelhouse, start simple with a material that is more forgiving: food. The holidays are full of foods you can use to transfer your Imperial designs onto with little effort.
The important thing is to pay attention to the holiday for which you are decorating. Play it safe with traditional foods such as pumpkins:
Get creative with standard garnish materials like fruits, vegetables, or horderves :
If you are hurting for time, reach for the nearest wedge shaped item and stick a carrot on top. The power of the Triangle will always save you if you love it enough:
Food gives you a natural canvas to bring your final creation to life. Best of all, unlike actual star destroyers, you can bite into them without the fear of the scorching heat of tibanna gas slamming into your forehead.
Fun With Your Subjugated Minions
Don’t forget the children! While Mom, Dad, or Sad Neighbor Steve is busy getting their festive spacinautical design on, the children will no doubt want to partake as well. Since child labor laws are lax when it comes to arts and crafts, seize this opportunity to get the whole family involved.
If you are worried that food might get too messy, try some more forgiving craft projects that can still accent the angular domination all star destroyers embody. Common school projects are a great place to start. Consider what you can do with paper:
Lined coloring, connect-the-dots, and paint-by-numbers are all great substitutes if your children find it difficult to work with paper without guides. As the Empire used to say, “Conform to the lines or die!”
For your older, more advanced genetic servants, encourage them to embrace their narrative side:
Show Off Your Work
Whatever form your DIY-Star Destroyer takes, don’t be afraid to put it front and center where people hang around. Emperor Palpatine himself took this approach by placing a star destroyer in virtually every place important to him (ie. the galaxy). Bring the same sense of awe and terror his citizens felt by using your creation(s) as the centerpiece for your holiday decorations.
Think about the areas of your home with the most traffic. Kitchens, tables, entry ways, and family rooms are all great locations to show off your work. Blend your creations in with the rest of the decor or make them stand out.
A shrine above your bed dedicated to the Triangle never hurts either!