#SquadGoals and the women who get stuck in the bathroom trying to make them work.
Please, call me bro.
Trent, the fake boyfriend with the perfect name who happens to be a male Rebecca, is back in a big way! He has a 42 point plant for infiltrating Rebecca’s male friend group and getting her to fall in love with him and it all starts with a ten thousand dollar shopping spree at a surf shop.
He uses his new digs to sneak up on Josh at Aloha and casually mention that he has a table at Home Base “for his clients” that he’s down with Josh & his crew using. So that night, Chan, Hector & WiJo hang out with Trent until he makes things extremely intense and weird, when they take the first opportunity and bail.
Trent is sulking when the surf shop lady who discouraged his plans shows up. They chat and when she finds out he was trying to force love, she gets super excited and encourages him to show up and make her love him. Because he’s Trent, he runs over to Rebecca’s new apartment, saves Paula from the bathroom (I’ll get to this in a sec) & sweeps her off her feet (literally). We all know Rebecca has a major case of blue-clit (™ Rachel Bloom) so she has sex with him EVEN THOUGH HE’S LITERALLY HER STALKER.
Darryl and Maya spend the entire episode trying to crash Rebecca’s party because they’re super upset that they’re not in the #squad. Rebecca is mean to Darryl when he brings it up and Darryl is in turn mean to Maya.
She finally stands up for herself and demands respect from her boss in a perfect #YASQUEEN moment, prompting D to apologize and promise to not shut down her ideas/outfits/style/voice/everything anymore. Together, they decide crashing the party with a “cool” dance is the best approach. They come in at a terrible moment, post-PaulBecca fight, but Valencia records their dance and they go a tiny bit viral.
TBH Darryl should’ve avoided all this mess and just gone to have sex with WiJo but what do I know.
Now we gotta back up and talk about the A story because I fear I may have confused you. Rebecca, Valencia & Heather are now in an obnoxious girl group, the kind that take selfies all the time and wear matching t-shirts to mask the fact that they aren’t reeeaaaally that close (true in this case, not always true in life, I’m sure your #squad is tight AF).
We first see them hanging out at Home Base, peeing together, drinking together, and planning to take over the world together in Rebecca’s imagination. This gives way to the Spice Girls girl power song we didn’t even know we’d been waiting for Bloom/Schlesinger/Donegan to write! They sing about their dystopian world where Valencia is Tsar of Torture, Heather drugs the water supply and Rebecca is in charge of mind-control. They declare memorial day every time one of them gets dumped and will divert all agricultural resources to making rosé. #smartAF
She’s telling Darryl (& background Maya) about how amahzing (RIPHappyEndings) her squad is and making him super jealous. When he mentions “people” being jealous, she thinks he’s talking about Paula. Becks doesn’t want Paula to feel left out so she invites her over for a “chill night” that turns out to be an ambush when Heather & Valencia show up with matching shirts. (NB: Sunil & Paula wearing matching bracelets was embarrassing but grown women in matching shirts isn’t?)
Paula suuuuuper doesn’t want to be at this party thing, Karen shows up pretending to be a french woman and tries to sell them sex toys, even resorting to drinking the lube to prove it’s safe (it’s not). Everything in Rebecca’s apartment is falling apart (it’s that place that all those drug dealers were murdered) so naturally when Paula goes into the bathroom, the door gets stuck and she can’t get out. Feeling high off of female group empowerment vibes, Rebecca kicks in the door! It’s cool for about 4 seconds before the entire ceiling starts caving in and trapping Paula in the bathroom.
As if this awkward night couldn’t get any worst, they take forever to call 911, and Rebeca grabs Paula’s phone to text Scott, seeing that she’s actually been sending bitchy texts to Sunil all night. On cue, Sunil shows up with a terrible story and makes everyone, himself included, uncomfortable. While Rebecca & Sunil argue about the sisters in Fiddler, Trent show up and immediately rescues Paula. He also picks Rebecca up as if it’s no big deal and women looooooove that.
Before Darryl and Maya show up to do their little dance, Rebecca and Paula have a real terrible heartbreaking fight. Paula tells her that she’s needy and self-centered and Rebecca complains that Paula doesn’t share with her when she asks. Paula blurts out that she had an abortion and that Rebecca wasn’t there for her, and you shouldn’t have to ask your best friends for support, they should give it to you always and without strings. Once the night is over and everyone leaves, Rebecca is super vulnerable and feeling lonely so of course when Trent, a consenting adult, is right in front of her, she’s going to self-sabotage by having sex with him to momentarily feel euphoric. The most brutal thing about this fight is that both women are right, they both could’ve done better, and the way they’re treating each other indicates this friendship will take time to heal, if ever.
- Friendtopia, which is an homage to The Spice Girls, if they sang about plotting & staging a coup
- Stuck in the Bathroom, which is so good it should replace the song it parodies forever in everything
Other perfect moments include
- The Trent Is Getting Ready Song, where he knicks his back with a razor & halts the entire process. (Rebecca literally kept going after blood splattered across the wall last season!)
- The sex toy that Karen Angelique was describing was terrifying
- Literally everything Angelique/Karen did
- Heather taking a kinesiology course in her SECOND sophomore year
- “I’m not forcing, I’m aggressively facilitating”
- A basket full of FOUR chicken wings
- Bath Snickers
- Maya suggest bringing a pineapple to the party
- The dance Darryl & Maya do; after all the brainstorming THAT was their best option and that makes it so much funnier
- “You gotta pay the toll”
- The theatre/Broadway/Fiddler tangent
That episode was fantastic, bringing to light the forcing friendship vs forcing love double-standard and exposing the different kinds of female friendship and having Paul and Rebecca really hash it out and air their grievances was an incredible feat for the writers and all the actors involved. The destructive behaviour Rebecca showed with Trent, Trent’s behaviour on it’s own showing how it’s less “cute” when a man does unstable things. The cherry on top of the sundae was the Darryl/Maya storyline; I want to learn The Maya SO MUCH! This episode was basically that thing of where the perfect people team up and make the perfect thing and it becomes magical.
The midseason finale airs tonight at 9/8c on The CW! Be sure to watch LIVE and tweet using #CrazyExGirlfriend to show the networks we want more of this magical gem of a show!