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Nothing screams “romance” quite like bullet-ridden bodies, eh? Alas, that is the fate of young Bonnie and Clyde as we open on a new Timeless. History plays out as is written, and we pause on a view of Bonnie’s necklace at the tragic end to The Last Ride of Bonnie and Clyde
We hop to the present, where Lucy is on a “date” with Noah, her alternate universe fiance, whom she unceremoniously dropped way back when, but now wants to see? I don’t understand what the hell Lucy is doing here, and I’m not the only one. Noah (the fauxance) wants to know what she’s doing, too. The date is awkward in the way you could only understand if you’ve dropped into an alternate timeline and are actually on your first date with someone who already knows they want to marry you. The fact that Lucy hasn’t just made a clean break with this guy in all this time really pisses me off, honestly. Why string him along? Why leave him hanging when this is literally the second time we’ve even seen the man? Wyatt is wondering, too. Lucy says it’s because in his timeline, she loves him. What a ridiculous argument. She’s not the same person “Alt-Lucy” is. Let him go, Lucy. This is beneath you.
Meanwhile, on the Rittenhouse front, we learn that Agent Christopher has a (presumed) daughter and is still digging into Mason and Rittenhouse. It’s hard to keep this shit from her when she literally finds a note with a date, address, and the phrase “Rittenhouse key” on it. Wyatt, Lucy, and Rufus are still denying any more knowledge about it and before any more questions are asked, they whoosh back in time and head to a bank, though not before some smoochin’ between Rufus and Jiya. Someday we might see more of Jiya outside of the warehouse, but I’m finding it harder to care.
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Lucy and Wyatt head into the bank while Rufus and his tape recorder hang out outside. I’m wondering how brilliant Rittenhouse is, though, if they don’t noticed the stops and starts and long pauses while the team talks all covert like. Pencil and paper are things, too. You can write shit down and eat it or something. In the bank, Lucy and Wyatt are just beginning to scope things out when the Barrow gang bursts in and holds the place up! And they notice that Bonnie is wearing the key! Ahhh, the good old days, when robbers had some honor and only cared about the government insured bank money and left regular folks’ money alone. Outside, Flynn shows up with a bunch of cops. Bonnie and Clyde head out, followed closely by Lucy and Wyatt. A well-intentioned Rufus yells a warning and we get a good old fashioned shootout!
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Clyde’s car is fucked, and he and Bonnie are trapped, but they see Lucy and Wyatt shooting at the cops too, and decided “fuck it let’s make our getaway together!” when Lucy tells them that to coppers are after them, too. I guess that is one way. Nevermind that you left your (black) friend behind in 1934 Arkansas. He’ll be fine. Wyatt and Lucy decide on a whim to pose as bank robbers with a drinking problem and terrible financial planning (how else can you spend $25k on hooch in 1934?) and are invited to crash with the infamous couple for the night. Lucy rightly thinks they should try and get some information about where the key came from before they just take it away from Bonnie. Just so long as they leave before 9am, they’re good, since at 9am Bonnie and Clyde take their famous last ride and are riddled with bullets.
Rufus, meanwhile, is hanging out at the police station, since that worked out so well for him last time. Someone saw him with the robbers before the heist, and the cops want some information from him. While he’s waiting, Flynn, who is posing as a bounty hunter, sees him and tries to convince Texas Ranger Frank Hamer (Chris Mulkey) that Rufus is an accomplice and lying about who he is. Wesley Snipes. Ha! I’m pretending this is a nod to the ridiculous aliases used on Kripke’s other show, Supernatural. Hamer tells Flynn that he once stood up to an angry lynch mob to keep them from a guilty man without flinching, and he’s not scared to do so with Flynn. Especially since there is already a known member of the Barrow gang ready to talk. I like Hamer.
In the present, Christopher is more suspicious of and at odds with Mason, to the point that she’s evading his help and surveilling him. One such stakeout results in her seeing Mason meet with Cahill, who assures Mason that they have “dealt” with intrepid agents and journalists before. Why Mason would be surprised by this shit is beyond me. They literally threaten you all the time, dude. Every conversation you have had with Cahill is him threatening you. Sigh. I know that there has to be some catalyst or Big Bad beyond Flynn here, but this Freemason, Illuminati-esque thing just doesn’t sit right with me.
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It’s party time back in 1934, as Wyatt and Lucy hang out and drink “real hooch” with Bonnie and Clyde. We learn that the key around Bonnie’s neck was an engagement gift, since Clyde wouldn’t buy a ring for an already married woman. The story of how they met and fell in love is strangely lovely, and Lucy and Wyatt’s romance up til now seems unbelieveable in comparison. Wyatt then tells how they got engaged, but it’s clearly the story about how he proposed to his wife. It’s beautiful and tragic when you know she is dead, and to really convince everyone that they are In Love, Wyatt decides to kiss Lucy. It happened! They got the “for cover” smoochies out of the way, but something more passes there between them because of course it does. We’ve been moving towards this for weeks now. They snuggle while Bonnie talks about her poems and prophecies that she she and Clyde don’t have much time. Wyatt gets them to talk more about the necklace: Clyde stole it from Henry Ford, who offered $50k for it’s return. The letter they talk about Clyde having written is real, which is a fun little fact. And the Latin phrase Lucy reads on the key says “The beginning of all time and the end of all time” which doesn’t sound ominous at all. The duo decides to wait til the drunk robbers pass out and take the necklace then.
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Passing out doesn’t happen yet, however. Clyde is only 23 and some booze isn’t enough to settle his randy ass down as he and Bonnie get frisky on one side of the sheet with Lucy and Wyatt awkwardly sharing the twin bed on the other side. They talk about soulmates and fate and whether or not there is really one person just for you (reeeeaaaalllly stoking’ the coal in this ship, eh? I can dig it).
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When their amorous companions finally fall asleep, Lucy and Wyatt make a break for it. A knock sounds at the door just when Wyatt tries to get the key, however and it’s Henry. Henry is the gang member who sold Bonnie and Clyde out to the cops and didn’t know Rufus. He told the police they were at the cabin, which caused Hamer to let Rufus go (out the back to avoid Flynn). Rufus also shows up at the cabin, causing Bonnie and Clyde to think Lucy and Wyatt are liars (true) and there to arrest them (not true). Rufus plays them the recording of Henry selling them out, and they take the modern technology in stride. With talkies being everywhere, why would portable digital recording devices be a shock at all??
Clyde kills Henry, but they aren’t willing to give up the key. Doesn’t matter so much, since the house is shot up by the cops. Clyde is killed by the fence, and Flynn steals the key from a distraught Bonnie, who goes the way of suicide by cop, dying next to her beloved.
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This was a pretty solid episode… and then they went full Da Vinci Code on us. Flynn puts the key in the lock of and old clock. It opens weird and there is parchment paper, and my eyes roll.
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When our team is back in the present, Lucy and Wyatt are awkward and cute and sad about the kiss, calling each other “Babydoll” and “Schweetheart” and insisting it was all for cover. I vote they have couple cover all the time. Fake relationships is one of my all time favorite tropes. I’m here for it, always. Rufus’s night isn’t so cute, however, when Agent Christopher corners him and insists on knowing more about Mason. After hedging and a little pushing, Rufus, who is not built for espionage, tells her he will tell her everything he knows about Rittenhouse, not just Mason.
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Look. I liked the Da Vinci Code. I loved Alias, and I think a well executed “ancient corporate conspiracy” thing can be okay. But big storylines tend to be easily muddled and fall under the weight of their own story. I don’t want that to happen here, but I feel it coming.
What do you think about the Last Ride of Bonnie and Clyde? Are you digging the Rittenhouse storyline? What did you think about the smoocheroo? Are you like me and down for Wucy? Or do you think they should remain colleagues?
