The Last Man on Earth 3×02: “The Wild Guess Express”

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Not looking back after running over psycho Pat in The A-Team van, the gang finds a new house where they can stay until they find out whether or not Pat survived.

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Carol finds the corpse of the singer in her bed. (R.I.P. Cher, ilysm bb)

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Todd is having a hard time dealing with the fact that he might have just taken someone’s life. Lewis points out that if Pat is still alive, Pat won’t be happy about Todd crashing into him. Tandy (the character formerly known as Phil) promises to go back to the old house to check if Pat’s alive.

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“C’mon everyone! Single file!”

(Did this kind of remind anyone of ‘Muppet Man’?)

Tandy finds the hazmat suit where they would have hit Pat, and assumes he’s dead. He decides to give a proper eulogy and burial (Tandy throws him into a pile of trash), since they were friends for a hot minute.

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When Tandy comes back with his news of Pat’s passing, Todd can’t deal with it. Lewis calls him a hero, but he leaves the room to cry. “Tandy, I killed someone. I don’t know how to live with this.” Tandy backtracks, lying to Todd and telling him that Pat is still alive, but that he didn’t want the rest of the group to feel unsafe. He comes up with the story that Pat is pissed to keep Todd from trying to go visit Pat to clear the air.

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Tandy pretends to meet with Pat to explain how awfully Todd feels about what happened. Tandy brings Phil back to the old house and acts shocked when he sees that Pretend Pat trashed the place.

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Tandy even angry-decorated a pair of jeans (Pat loved to do cool drawings on jeans) for Todd.

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Back at Cher’s, Todd can’t keep the secret that Pat is alive. “Pat” is really mad at them and could cause a lot of harm, and Todd wants everyone to know so that they can be prepared. Tandy tries to assure everyone that Pat is dead, but he keeps whispering to Todd “Oh, no, he’s alive,” which makes him less credible. Tandy tries to decide whether to admit to Todd that he lied and Pat is dead, or let the group worry about Pat being alive so that Todd doesn’t have remorse.

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Gail comes outside to tell Melissa that Pat is ‘more alive than previously advertised.’ Melissa goes to get her gun to kill him, but then she remembers that she no longer has a gun. It’s been two days since Melissa killed Darrell, and Gail is concerned about how Melissa is coping.

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Tandy tells Carol, his wife, that he lied to Todd about Pat being alive, because she confided in him about being worried that Pat will come back to attack them. Carol instantly decides to help Tandy with his lie to protect Todd. The two set up a scenario in which Pat (a dummy, not the actual Pat) is threatening to attack the group, and Tandy kills Pat in self defense. This way, everyone knows Pat is dead, but Todd doesn’t think it’s his fault.

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“You’ve made a monster here. Now you just have to kill it.”

 

Melissa and Erica call Tandy out about that not really being Pat and the attack being staged. Lewis asks, “Do we look like idiots? Then why do you keep treating us like we’re idiots?” (This has been a reoccurring theme in the show. Why does Tandy think people will be dumb enough to fall for his ridiculous lies?) Finally Tandy admits that Pat died after Todd hit him in the van. Tandy tells him “I didn’t want you to have to deal with that,” and everyone hugs Todd.

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They go back to the old house and see what Tandy did to it. Erica points out that Tandy could have just told Todd that he went back to the house, saw Pat alive, and killed him himself, without doing any of this extra trashing. Gail, looking out the window, asks Tandy what he did with the boat that Pat, Lewis, and Darrell had originally showed up on. Tandy didn’t do anything with the boat, hinting that at really is alive. When Tandy checks the garbage pile where he left Pat’s body, the body is gone.

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Author: Jacki

@jackidominique, thegameofnerds.com/jacki

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