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“Damen said, ‘I made him a promise.’
‘And when he learns who you are?’ said Jord. ‘When he learns that he is facing Damianos on the field?’
‘Then he and I meet each other for the first time,’ said Damen. ‘That was also a promise.’”
For the first time in C.S. Pacat’s Captive Prince trilogy, Damen and Laurent face each other as they truly are: the Prince of Vere and the Prince of Akielos, both rightful heirs to their thrones.
The time has finally come for Damen to reveal the truth, that he is Damianos of Akielos, the prince-killer. The man who ruined Laurent’s life the day he killed his brother. It was something he knew he would always have to do, but not like this. Not just days after he kissed Laurent on the battlements of Ravenel. After Laurent willingly gave himself to Damen. After Damen wondered if leaving this all behind for Ios was worth it.
But when the Regent forces their hands, Damen and Laurent must work together and join forces as the princes of enemy nations to march into the capital of Akielos and face both the men who threaten to take everything from them. Except, nothing goes the way Damen expects.
“‘I know who you are, Damianos,’ said Laurent.
Damen heard it, as the interior of the tent seemed to change, so that all of the objects in it took on a different shape.
‘Did you think,’ said Laurent, ‘I wouldn’t recognise the man who killed my brother?’”
Laurent has known the whole time. None of it makes sense to Damen, especially as Laurent grows cold and withdrawn, completely different from the man he spent sneaking off into the middle of the night with, leaping out of brothel windows, and sprinting across rooftops. The man who trusted Damen to catch him before he fell. The man Damen decided was a king worth fighting for.
Damen doesn’t know what to do with this sudden distance, especially as it has him second-guessing everything that transpired between them, but one thing is certain: he and Laurent must work together if they are to succeed against the Regent and his games. Together, as allies, they are already a force to be reckoned with. Imagine how much stronger they could be together, as the only people to truly understand the other, if they were honest with each other?
“A kingdom, or this.”
“King.
The pin was his now, and soon the bannermen would come to pledge to him as King, and nothing would be the way it was before. To gain everything and lose everything in the space of a moment. That is the fate of all princes destined for the throne.”
Damen and Laurent always had an expiration date. Damen has known this from the beginning, from the moment he started falling for Laurent. It has always been “a kingdom, or this,” never both. How could it be, when to take back his kingdom he’d have to admit who he truly is: Damianos of Akielos, prince-killer. It is nothing more than a pipe dream, that he and Laurent could continue after he reveals the truth.
But it is interesting that these are Laurent’s words, “to gain everything and lose everything in the space of a moment,” not Damen’s. It is Laurent’s words that are echoing in his mind as he assumes his rightful place as King of Akielos, as he rides to meet Laurent as the man he was always destined to be. And, now, we know that Laurent had always known who Damen was, so of course he could feel it, too. A kingdom, or this.
Even as Laurent grows cold again, forcing both Damen and the reader to consider if everything that transpired between them was a lie, just another part of his plan to get his throne back, it is evident that things are more complicated for him than he lets on.
“He felt Nikandros’s reaction behind him. He kept his eyes on the goblet. He had no intention of putting any of it in words. I told him I was a slave, and he pretended to believe me. I kissed him on the battlements. He had his servants bring me to his bed. It was our last night together, and he gave himself to me. He knew all the while it happened that I was the man who killed his brother.”
A kingdom, or this. Never both.
We’ve seen this defense mechanism in Laurent before, in the ways in which he behaved while surviving his uncle in Arles. It is how he survives, and he thinks this is the only way he will be able to survive having to admit he knew who Damen was and still chose him.
And while they have both known the reality of their situation the whole time, they haven’t had to face it until now. They haven’t had to deal with the consequences of falling for their enemy, the one person they ought to hate more than anything. Now that the truth is out in the open, there is no more pretending. No more pretending that Laurent hadn’t fallen for his brother’s killer, and no more pretending that Damen could have stayed if Laurent had asked him to.
But the truth is sometimes an ugly thing.
“‘I hated you,’ said Laurent. ‘I hated you so badly I thought I’d choke on it. If my uncle hadn’t stopped me, I would have killed you. And then you saved my life, and every time I needed you, you were there, and I hated you for that, too.’”
Even though this comes after Laurent admits that he misses Damen, drunk and in little control of his thoughts, this confession is what truly makes me believe that everything we’ve seen in the past two books is genuine. Because this is exactly what happened. Over the course of the last two books, they did nothing but surprise each other. In the ways they behaved, in the ways they remained loyal to each other. In the ways they slowly let each other in, to the point where they could understand each other in ways no one else ever has. In the ways they began to care for each other, despite their rough edges and broken parts.
Love is a complicated thing and the things Damen and Laurent have put each other through do not make it any easier, despite the truth to it.
An eye for an eye, a heart for a heart
“‘How can you trust me, after what your own brother did to you?’
‘Because he was false,’ said Damen, ‘and you are true. I have never known a truer man.’ He said, into the stillness, ‘I think if I gave you my heart, you would treat it tenderly.’”
If Prince’s Gambit was about Damen learning to trust Laurent as he discovers the man Laurent truly is and accepting his feelings for him, then Kings Rising is about Laurent learning to do the same.
There is an interesting juxtaposition between the two books. During Prince’s Gambit, Damen gets to see who Laurent is beneath the guise he wore to protect himself while at court. And while Damen has never lied to us, the reader, about his thoughts and feelings regarding Laurent, Laurent knew he was still deceiving him the entire time by letting him “believe” he was someone he wasn’t.
Now, Damen is able to face Laurent as he truly is, Damianos of Akielos. Even though Laurent has known the whole time, it is different now that Damen has admitted it, and still cares for Laurent, who still treats him the same way, who is still as loyal to him as when he was his slave. It is only now that we get to see the reverse happen: Laurent learning who Damen truly is. Because even though we know that Damen’s feelings are true, how can Laurent really know until all the lies have been lifted, leaving the two of them as their true selves to face each other?
Only now, when Laurent comes to understand that Damen, the King of Akielos, is the same as the Damen who he had brought to his bed at Ravenel to attend to him one last time, do we get to see the fears holding Laurent back.
This is no longer a question of “how can you trust me after what I’ve done to you.” Damen has proven his loyalty to Laurent time and time again; it is obvious that Damen understands Laurent in a way that allows him to forgive Laurent for what he did to him. The real problem is Kastor. At least, in Laurent’s mind, it is. Laurent, whose own family is trying to kill him, whose own family took every opportunity to abuse and manipulate him. Laurent, who does not trust anyone because of what he has suffered and grown to expect as normal. His family is what ruined his ability to trust. So, when thinking about Damen and what happened to him, of course he would think that Damen is ruined as he is.
But it isn’t just that Damen knows Laurent isn’t like Kastor. Just like Damen proved himself to be the only one to truly understand what Laurent needs, to be the only one to see through his anger and biting words, to bring him back when Laurent has lost himself, Laurent proves the same.
“He felt Laurent’s fingers on the back of his neck, a shock of touch that caught him in a tumult of confusion as it drew him forward, simply. It was Laurent, slightly awkward; sweet; rare; stiff with obvious inexperience.
If he had been offered this as an adult, he couldn’t remember it. He couldn’t remember ever having needed it, except that maybe he had needed it since the bells had rung in Akielos, and never allowed himself to ask for it. Body leaned into body and he closed his eyes.”
It is Laurent who sees through Damen’s unwavering strength and gives him exactly what he needs. Something as small as a touch, fingers against the back of his neck. But it is the thing no one has ever offered him, especially when he needed it the most.
And that’s why, against all odds, they work. It really is a beautiful love story. Two people finding the one person to truly understand them, to accept them for everything they are and love them for it, in the most unlikely of places. Especially for Laurent, who feels unlovable. Or Damen, who was the brother not chosen.
But with the truth on the table and their feelings unwavering, they can finally choose each other.
“We both hold the centre,’ said Laurent. And then: ‘It was one kingdom, once.’
Laurent wasn’t looking at him when he said it, and it was a long moment before he lifted his eyes to Damen’s waiting ones, and Damen’s breath caught at what he saw there, the off shyness of it, as though Laurent were asking instead of answering.
‘Yes,’ said Damen, feeling light-headed at the question,
And then he really did feel light-headed, because Laurent’s face was so transformed by the new light in his eyes that Damen almost didn’t recognise him, the expression full of joy.”
Oh, the trauma
This review, of course, wouldn’t be complete without talking about how the trauma and abuse in the first book continues to impact the narrative even after Damen has fallen in love with the very man who tried so hard to break him.
But, is it really all that different than knowingly falling in love with your brother’s killer?
“He flushed, hard. A golden wrist cuff had only one meaning: use, and submission, of the most private kind.
He knew what they saw–a hundred images of slaves, submitting, bending at the hip, parting their thighs, the casual ease with which these men would have taken slaves in their own households. He remembered himself saying, Leave it on. His chest felt tight.”
While Prince’s Gambit moves away from the trauma and abuse of Captive Prince, though not entirely, as we do see flashes of its imprints in Damen as Laurent and Damen become more enthralled with one another, Kings Rising brings it back to the forefront of the story as Damen is re-introduced into the life he had before.
Although Damen had the entirety of his journey together with Laurent from Arles to Ravenel to work through the trauma he endured at the hands of Laurent, this is the first time he must come to terms with what happened as Damianos under the eyes of those who fight for him as the rightful King of Akielos. Damen found a way to accept it, especially as his and Laurent’s relationship began to shift into something far more intimate than a slave and his owner, but it is different when standing in front of an old friend, a man who would die for him, who would kill anyone who dared to even think about hurting him the way Laurent did.
“Nikandros said, ‘Your back.’
Damen flushed. Nikandros was staring at him as if he needed to see it up close to believe it. The exposure was a shock. He knew… He knew there was scarring. He knew it extended across his shoulders, down to his mid-back. He knew the scars had been well taken care of. They didn’t pull. They didn’t twinge, even during the most strenuous sword work. The smelly salves that Paschal had administered had seen to that. But he had never taken himself to a mirror and looked at them.
Now his mirror was Nikandros’s eyes, the stark horror in his expression. Nikandros turned him, put his hands on Damen’s body, spreading them over Damen’s back, as if touch would confirm what his eyes wouldn’t believe.”
It is different, being back amongst his friends and subjects, among the people who could never fathom the thought of Damen as a slave. And although Damen stands his ground against them, even going as far as to defend Laurent to Nikandros’s face, the horrified reactions he is forced to endure are a harsh reminder of the things he suffered in Arles.
But it isn’t just his men’s reactions that Damen has to worry about. And perhaps his trauma runs deeper than he was expecting.
“She got up. He didn’t speak. She had a collar around her neck, and metal cuffs around her small wrists that were like the one that he–
‘Exalted,’ she said, quietly. ‘What is wrong?’
He let out a strange, unsteady breath. He realised that his breathing had been unsteady for some time, that his flesh was unsteady. That silence had been stretching between them for too long.
‘No slaves,’ said Damen. ‘Tell the Keeper. Send no one else. For the length of the campaign I will be dressed by an adjutant, or a squire.’”
In my initial review of Captive Prince, I said that none of the abuse and violence was included for shock value, nor was any of it romanticized, and I agree with what I said then as the effects of it ripple into the third book. While it is no longer the focus of the book, it does not fade into the background as the romance between Laurent and Damen is introduced. It is still there, lingering, as trauma does, and Damen is forced to think about the ways in which he was violated now that he has re-entered his life as someone who should have never experienced what he did.
It is not something Damen can simply move on from now that he and Laurent have given themselves to each other willingly. Now that they stand together as equals. That doesn’t change the fact that he was a slave, that he was violated and humiliated in unthinkable ways. The trauma is still there and forces Damen to alter his life to accommodate it.
And while some may still believe that the premise of Damen becoming a sex slave and enduring abuse is not a topic for a book meant to be read for enjoyment, or that this series can be triggering for anyone who has endured similar abuse (which it most certainly can be), I think that Pacat was very intentional with the ways in which it wove in and out of the story. It does not have the shock factor that many dark romances do when dealing with sensitive topics, nor does it all get forgotten once romance is on the table.
My final thoughts…
I gave Kings Rising a 4.5/5 stars.
Kings Rising would have been a 5-star read for me if the ending didn’t feel so abrupt, but I will forgive Pacat for leaving us the way she did because she does give us The Summer Palace and Other Stories, a collection of short stories within which we get to follow Damen and Laurent as they officially court each other after the events of Kings Rising. Which is literally all I want. My review of Kings Rising on Fable was a desperate plea for fanfics of Damen courting Laurent, with Auguste alive and disgustingly happy to see his brother fall in love (I need this AU fic so bad, someone please drop links). So, it’s okay, I guess, that she left me staring at the final page, shocked that there wasn’t more.
It is so funny to me, thinking back to when I first came across Captive Prince and being astounded that a book about such horrible abuse was adored by so many people. I could not fathom reading this and enjoying it, nevermind coming to adore the characters as much as I do now. There is a certain charm to it, reading about two very damaged people finding safety within each other. About Damen, finding a love that wouldn’t betray him. About Laurent learning to trust again. About two people falling in love with each other even after seeing the nastiest parts of them.
And that is the heart of it, why people love enemies-to-lovers so much. The thought that someone can see you at your worst and still love you.
In the end, it is no surprise that I ended up enjoying this series so much. Not when some of my favorite books are The Foxhole Court by Nora Sakavic and Hazelthorn by C.G. Drews. Books that also feature two characters completely at odds with each other, but who end up being the only person to truly understand them. Soulmates, if you will.
With all that being said, this series is still not one I recommend to people lightly, so please remember to check trigger warnings before reading and never be afraid to set a book aside if it makes you feel uncomfortable, no matter how many people rave about how much they loved it.
You can find my review of Captive Prince here and Prince’s Gambit here
Safe reading, everyone!
