Neighbours – Ramsay Street Round-Up (20th – 23rd October)

I swear the weeks are getting faster – is it just me, or is this happening to everyone? Another week in Erinsborough has absolutely whizzed by, and it has yet again been mostly full of people making absolutely awful decisions and/or digging even further into the holes they’ve already fashioned for themselves. Let’s get on with rounding it all up.

Taye Gets the Sack

After Taye persuades Sadie to use their own untested products on Nicolette and Jane at the make-up show, they both break out in a fiery red rash. Vera is also suffering because she bagged some of their free samples. It soon transpires that the company producing the face masks for them persuaded Taye to add a preservative in the form of formaldehyde.

Fun fact – my mum was horrendously allergic to formaldehyde, to the point where she had to carry an EpiPen, and you might think it’s only used to preserve dead people but it’s way more common in everyday life than you may think. That distinctive smell you get from new carpets, clothes and car interiors? Formaldehyde. My mum found out the hard way that it’s also used to bleach tea bags, so now I’m passing that knowledge to all of you – if you want non-bleached you usually have to buy organic bags or leaf tea.

Anyway, that’s the Public Service Announcement over, let’s get back to Neighbours.

Krista is furious at Sadie and Taye for the breach of protocol in using untested products, especially at a public event. It looks like she might fire them both, but Taye falls on his sword and takes all the blame, saving Sadie’s butt. It sounds harsh, but if I was Krista I’d have definitely canned them both – nobody wants a rogue beauty technician who’s going to smear any old thing on to clients’ faces just because their boyfriend tells them to. She’s surely got enough training to know she shouldn’t do that.

I reckon Taye will end up working for Elle and Paul in their new bar which I currently have absolutely no interest in, but which may become part of Andrew’s eventual undoing, and thus become worth talking about.

Addison Causes Some Headaches

One of the students, Addison, has been sleeping in the school, so social services sort her out a foster family. It doesn’t seem to be working out for her though, so Jane offers to have her stay with her instead. Unfortunately, Nicolette is quite literally red with rage when she trips over Addison’s bag in the coffee shop and chucks her out, so when she gets home and finds the same kid in her house she doesn’t exactly make her feel welcome.

While Jane should have spoken to Nicolette before inviting a random kid into the house, Nicolette should be angry with Jane, not Addison. She’s downright mean to her, except for one brief moment when she gives her a herbal headache roller, the rest of the time she’s badmouthing the poor kid to anyone who’ll listen.

Inevitably Addison hears and she does a runner because of feeling so unwelcome. Krista intervenes because she realises that Addison’s mum is her old drug dealer, but she still can’t get Addison to stay. The only person who seems to have made any connection to Addison is JJ. I’m wondering if Addison might have some link through her mum to the Linwells, possibly leading Addison and JJ into some sort of Romeo and Juliet/warring families situation. We’ll see…

Colton Opens Up To Susan

Colton has seemed a bit off since finding Wendy unconscious on the floor. He’s also pining over Zac a little bit, especially when he sees him getting frisky with Wes.

He’s a bit terse with Susan when she asks him if he’s OK, but eventually he opens up to her and the two of them end up eating ice cream and watching Susan’s Scandi Noir shows together. I think I want Susan and Colton to be best buddies, it would be adorable.

Zac Simply Cannot Stop Being A Moron

Zac confesses to Elle that he had sex with a tennis coach at the branch of Lassiters he used to work at, and the encounter was caught on CCTV, which then found its way on to the internet. He wasn’t identified in the video but there is still a danger of it, so he’s come to Erinborough to get away, because working at the same branch of hotel in a different bit of the country, which also has the internet, is bound to mean he can escape it all.

On account of being a moron, Zac has not learned his lesson, and ends up boning Wes in the hotel while on his shift. How long will it be before footage of that surfaces? Because Wes is not exactly known for his integrity. Everyone has already seen the tennis coach footage, so if the same tattooed bum appears in a video from Erinsborough Lassiters, it’s going to be even more obvious who one of the people in the video is.

I genuinely don’t get Zac, he won’t date Colton because they live on the same street and it’s a bit close to home, but he will hook up with people in his workplace while he’s on shift. Make it make sense.

Now’s Probably Not The Time To Confront Your Childhood Bully, Cara

Cara has yet another run-in with the Linwells because she literally has never heard the term “police harassment” before. It all comes out that Tanya and her were best friends at school until Cara confided in her about her sexuality and Tanya told the entire school. While I think it can be healing and beneficial to face childhood bullies in later life, it’s probably not the best time to do it if the bully is also part of a criminal gang that you’re investigating as part of a police investigation. But then, I’m not a cop, so what do I know?

The Andrew and Holly Mess Reaches New Levels of Messiness

Good grief, where do I start with all of this?

Wendy’s credit card is declined because someone at the Adultery Bar added an extra zero to Andrew and Holly’s affair drinks. Andrew is a cop, right? So why is he using his JOINT CREDIT CARD to buy cocktails for his sidepiece? Cash only, my dude. Despite the narrow escape, he thinks he’s sorted it out and got a refund, but I do wonder if Paul and Elle might somehow stumble on some incriminating info as they take over running the bar.

Holly is devastated that Andrew is careering towards getting up and absolutely lying his head off in front of everyone at his and Wendy’s vow renewal, and Andrew can’t seem to focus on anything other than getting Felix to check on Holly to make sure she’s OK. Maybe you should be a bit more concerned about your wife who just had a head injury, you absolute melt.

Meanwhile, Holly has found out why she’s so tired and grumpy – she’s pregnant. She manages to keep this secret for about 38 seconds before Sadie finds a pregnancy leaflet in her handbag. Oh boy, this is going to get MESSY. Sadie naturally assumes that Max is the father, and Max would love nothing more than a reason to stay connected with Holly, plus he’s an absolute sweetheart, so no doubt he’s going to step up. But it’s obviously Andrew’s baby, isn’t it? It has to be. It’s all such a colossal mess.

A Few Random Notes

As usual, here are a few random notes I took while watching Neighbours this week:

• Wait. Zac DOWNLOADED security footage of him boning a guy in the lift AT WORK and it ended up online? And now he’s boning Wes at work? Is he an idiot?
• Holly and Andrew really need to stop staring at each other weirdly in front of people. 
• Wendy and Andrew’s vow renewal is at the pavilion and the pub. Classy. 
• Who could have predicted that shagging in the hotel where you work could ever come to bite you in the tattooed arse, Zac?
• “Whatever whacks their balls, I guess?”  I’M SORRY?!
• Zac said piss! Is this Neighbours after dark?
• OH MY GOD, HOLLY IS PREGANTÉ!!