There must be something in the water in Erinsborough at the moment, because I feel like everyone is behaving just a touch more unhinged than they normally do. The theme of this week has to be lies – everyone is just lying their heads off. Let’s get on with rounding up last week’s episodes, and you’ll see what I mean.
Wendy and Nicolette Team Up to Be Doubly Stupid
Despite Nicolette trying very hard to convince Wendy that Andrew was cheating on her, Wendy was reluctant to believe her. The two of them started using a fake dating profile to try to get proof one way or another rather than, you know, talking to Andrew about it. This week she becomes convinced that what Nicolette is saying is true, after seeing Sandra hugging Andrew in the complex.
Wendy still doesn’t speak to Andrew about it, deciding instead to confront Sandra. Trust Wendy to choose the stupidest way of dealing with this whole situation. Sandra, because she’s got a little bit of a screw loose herself, lies and confirms to Wendy that she’s in a relationship with Andrew and that he is in the process of figuring out how to leave her. Wendy is, of course, devastated.
When Andrew finds Wendy in tears at home, she finally accuses him of cheating and shows him the dating profile. He denies that it’s him, and despite acting very much as you would expect an innocent person to, by reporting it as catfishing to the police and to the dating app, Wendy very obviously doesn’t believe him.
Somehow Wendy goes from not speaking to anyone apart from Nicolette about this, to involving the entire neighbourhood. Cara and Nicolette decide to carry out a sting operation, where Nicolette arranges to meet with Fake Andrew at the tram. Quite what the point of Cara being there is, I’m not sure, and the two of them couldn’t look any more like two people on a stakeout than if they were both eating doughnuts. They can see from the location services on the app that Fake Andrew is close by, but then he moves away and never shows up.
They quiz JJ about whether the perpetrator could be one of the scumbag kids from school, but then Holly remembers the bloke who got handsy with Sandra at the self-defence class, and wonders if it could be him out to get revenge. And that certainly looks likely, since we see him watching Andrew and Wendy.
I really feel for Andrew in all of this, because apart from being a bit clueless about what Sandra wanted from him and what the heck to do about it, he’s done nothing wrong. But it’s very obvious to him and everyone else that Wendy still doesn’t fully believe him, and his frustration is palpable.
I have a couple of questions about this storyline. Firstly, why the heck is Nicolette so unhealthily invested in the state of Wendy and Andrew’s marriage? I think she needs a hobby, like crochet or birdwatching. Maybe not birdwatching, actually, we don’t need Nicolette wielding a pair of binoculars.
My second question is why Andrew is having to do this Keystone Cops style investigation, with Nicolette in a hat being his only resource, when he is, in actual fact a police officer, with all the resources available to a police officer to investigate something? Surely he’d be able to look into the catfishing properly?
Karl Gets the Boot
Darcy has ramped up his villainy in a big way, spiking Karl’s herbal medication with opiates in order to try to sideline him and stop him from being able to snoop around. For once, Karl is the only person talking any sense – he knows Darcy is up to something and he suspects it involves Amanda and her money, so Darcy needs to discredit him and get him away from Erini Rising immediately.
Karl finds himself feeling unwell, having suddenly been put back on to a big dose of opiates without his knowledge. After he takes a funny turn at the pub, Darcy comes to speak to Susan under the guise of his concern for Karl. He does some very rudimentary sleight of hand and produces, in the style of pulling a rabbit out of a hat, a bottle of opiates out of Karl’s bag. Ta-daaaa!
He then proceeds to tell Susan a bit of the truth with a great big dollop of lies on top – that Karl got addicted to painkillers after his surgery and that he’s still taking them, therefore his opinions can’t be trusted, and he shouldn’t be allowed to treat patients. When Terese and Susan find more opiates in Karl’s office, they have no choice but to ask him to stand down. So Darcy has got his way and can carry on with his dirty tricks without being found out. I’m still confused as to why he’s still sticking around now he has Amanda’s money though. Why doesn’t he just do a runner?
Chelsea Can’t Keep Up the Lies
Chelsea is still being blackmailed by Jeffrey, so she’s trying very hard to insert herself into Paul’s life as much as possible and push for some sort of romantic connection with him. She cynically decides to change Thomas’ birth certificate to make him a Robinson, as well as arranging another night for Paul and Terese to have Thomas for a sleepover. All this is part of Chelsea’s plan to try to force a romance with Paul and make the three of them into a family, thus cementing her access to Moneybags’ money bags and her ability to keep paying Jeffrey off for his silence.
Chelsea tells Paul she’s on a date, but then Max spots her having a frosty encounter with Jeffrey at the pub, which he reports back to Paul, so when Paul sees her with Jeffrey again the following day, he confronts her and warns her that he doesn’t want Jeffrey to be anywhere near Thomas. Chelsea seems paralysed for a moment, and then she blurts out that she’s been lying, and that Thomas is actually Jeffrey’s rather than Paul’s.
I cannot wait to see the fallout from this revelation, it’s about time Chelsea got her comeuppance. And also, can someone please remember for a second that she killed a human baby?! It absolutely boils my pee that she still hasn’t been punished in any way for that.
Taye Lies to Dex and Vera
Taye is really getting into his side hustle as a sex worker, seeing clients left, right and centre. For someone who wants to see it a secret though, he certainly does spend a lot of time accepting big wads of cash from women in public places. And it’s during one of these transactions that Dex sees him, so he quizzes his uncle about what his side hustle is. Taye quickly lies and says he’s a personal shopper, which will come back to bite him in the butt later.
Vera has her eye on two new single men who’ve moved into Eirini Rising, and she wants JJ to help her shop for a knockout outfit to impress them both. JJ declines, but Dex immediately tells Vera about Taye’s side hustle, which means Taye then has to accompany Vera on a shopping trip in order to keep up the charade.
And you know what? Props to Taye, because Vera looks absolutely SENSATIONAL as she turns up at the pub with a pensioner on each arm. You go for it, Vera, you absolute queen.
Aaron Goes on Holiday to Be Weird
The lying continues, as Aaron uses Krista and Leo’s honeymoon voucher to treat himself to a holiday. At first he’s very excited to take Isla away with him, but when she gets an ear infection and can’t fly, he throws his budgie smugglers into a case and waltzes off without her in a heartbeat.
Once he’s ensconced in his resort with his trashy book, there happens to only be one other person at the resort with him – a cute gay guy reading the same trashy book. They strike up a conversation and hit it off, and soon a holiday romance is blossoming, but Aaron makes up an entirely new identity rather than being himself.
Now, I can understand taking safety precautions when meeting a new person while travelling alone, but making up an entire fictional identity, including name, occupation and home town is so deeply weird that I can’t begin to understand it. Inevitably, as he’s getting dressed after the two of them have done the honky tonk, Aaron’s new crush finds Aaron’s wallet with his wedding ring and a photo of David and Isla inside.
Aaron doesn’t really seem to realise how flipping weird it was of him to lie, but one could argue that there’s a consent issue here, because his new squeeze did not consent to sleep with a widowed barman and father of one, he consented to sleeping with a single flight attendant. He tells Aaron not to speak to him again, and I can’t say I blame him. Get some therapy, Aaron.
A Few Random Notes
As usual, here are a few random notes I took while watching Neighbours this week, and they’re all about the same thing because that’s how much it bothered me:
- So, there’s only one other person on Aaron’s holiday and it’s a hot gay guy reading the same book.
- The hot gay guy is saying he loves this place because of the peace and solitude, but then he’s bending the ear of the only other person there.
- Aaron just lying his head off to this guy is giving me the ick. I can see why you wouldn’t want to share your life story with a perfect stranger, but this is weird.
- “I felt like being someone else for the day.” OK, but did Random Beach Guy feel like being lied to?
