On May 3rd, Open Secrets Magazine on Substack held its first in-person event to unite writers, aspiring writers, editors and the like to network and learn from panelists on topics that included things like making a career in writing, how to write about relationships, essayists and memoir authors discussing being LGBTQIA and how to sensitively write about the intricacies of these identities, discussing various aspects of their identities and how to write about them while remaining true to themselves and their experiences, etc.
In honor of Mental Health Awareness Month, they, of course, had a panel of essayists and memoir authors discussing how to write sensitively and ethically about mental health. The panelists were Rachel Kramer Bussel, editor of Open Secrets Magazine whose writing focuses on hoarding; Veena Dinavahi, author of the memoir The True Happiness Company which comes out on May 20th; Dionne Ford, author of the memoir Go Back and Get It, writes a lot about generational healing, Arianna Rebolini, author of the memoir Better which came out the week before the event; and Hyeseung Song, author of the memoir Docile. It was moderated by John DeVore, author of the memoir Theatre Kids, which he described as being about “theater kids, grief, alcoholism and jazz hands.”
They began the panel with how they started writing about mental health. Arianna had worked at Buzzfeed in its early years and pitched to write about her mother and her bulimia. They were up for it. In the over 10 years since she wrote the piece, she says that the dialogue has changed, for the better, she thinks. There was much more shame and fewer resources or acceptance of recognizing the disorder.
Hyeseung wrote since her 20s but really focused on her memoir in her mid-30s and last year, at 45 years old, her book was published.
Dionne felt like she was always writing about mental health as a way to vent and deal with what she was experiencing. In 2017, she started to publish her writings on the topic after so many people she knew died because of addiction. She’s an alcoholic and wasn’t sure if it was allowed with the anonymous element of NA and AA, but she heard from younger readers and writers in her group that it was more important to share and publish her writing, so she did.
Veena explained that after her breakthrough and several suicide attempts over the course of four years, she wanted to make sure her book wasn’t so dark. But an early reviewer wrote that they needed to take breaks reading the memoir, which surprised her. “I tried to put jokes in and cut back on so many graphic elements,” but then she read on, and the reviewer said that the memoir is still one of their favorite books to come out. That made her realize that her story was meant to be told, and that she could trust others despite her nightmare experience in the past of others taking advantage of her.
John moved on to a more personal question concerning whether they felt there is still a stigma regarding mental health. He shared that he gets odd feedback, particularly from men, about his writing about addiction and lack of connection, and they don’t seem to want to admit or see that these are problems for many.
Hyeseung was quick to point out that not only could it be generational, but also cultural. She said that in a 2019 report, there was a statistic that the highest reason for death of Asian Americans and Pacific Islanders, aged 18 to 24, was suicide. They don’t talk about it. You are expected to be a perfect student, a perfect worker, and that is it. Any other problems, you keep them to yourself, and the results do not work out. So she hopes that her book and these discussions will break that.
Veena grew up in a community where suicide was unfortunately a common occurrence, and therapy was a given to make you stronger, sort of a rite of passage. However, in her experience, it only made her susceptible to a self-help cult, and what she notices is that there is a need for more work on the nuances of talking about mental health, suicide, and therapy so that people wont end up exploited or unhealed like she and her community had dealt with.
Arianna could see that there is a stigma that, with her history of being suicidal, she expressed her wish to be a mother and became one. Several questions about whether she should be a mom or be able to be a good, capable mother.
Dionne gave a different perspective. She said that mental health in general, like addiction, is more accepted,d but that other issues such as incest are still stigmatized. This in turn can leave people feeling again isolated and helpless.
“A good publisher who did not want to exploit me said, ‘This is therapy. Rewrite it so it tells a story.’ The reader can tell when we are using them as therapists, and we can’t let that be the case. It was great advice.”
John shared, and Arianna also shared that she had a similar publishing experience.
She said that when she first got out of the hospital after her suicide attempt, she had a book deal six months later, but thankfully, it was not published for another eight years. She needed time to process what she went through. However, she did keep writing through those eight years, because those raw moments that are so fresh and real of how she felt are the most valuable for a reader.
“It’s like that saying, ‘writer drunk, edit sober.’ Well, I write depressed, but edit ‘sober.’” = Arianna
Veena agreed that while she has so many stories and instances of what has happened and what she has witnessed, only maybe five are actually interesting to share!
Dionne said a book editor advised her, “Does this move the story forward?” and that guides her when she decides what to write about, especially when they writes about mental health and wants to help others.
At the end of the panel, there was a question from the audience asking what do they do if there is no term for their disorder. Dionne said that is freeing, “We are writers, describe it!” Veena added that even if there is a term for the disorder a person is writing about, “Write into the ambuiguity, people are so different.”
While the panel dealt with such heavy topics of suicide, hoarding, incest, addiction, and many more, the panelists proved one thing: when we write about it, talk about it, we know we are not alone, and it has and does help. Maybe not right away, but these are all steps to bettering ourselves and the world.
Do you have a book or essay that has helped you? Share with us!
