Here we are again, almost at the period of the year during which I go into hibernation. The clocks go back this weekend, which means it’s going to be SO DARK until February, that I will soon be gripped by a vitamin D deficiency and my skin will end up that weird translucent grey-blue colour that a lot of white English people go. It’s a good job we all have our little excursions to Ramsay Street to make us feel a little bit more summery.
So let’s crack on with rounding up what happened this past week.
Terese Gets Busted Twice and Yeets
After getting busted with a bottle of wine by Nell, Terese lies her head off and tells her that she was tempted but hasn’t had anything to drink. She makes a deal with Nell that she won’t tell Toadie that Nell bunked off school and came to Erinsborough, as long as Nell doesn’t tell him that Terese came close to drinking.
I know addicts aren’t exactly known for their clear thinking, but roping a teenager into your lies seems decidedly not cool to me.
After Vic busts Terese pouring herself a massive glass of wine at the Boylesque show, Terese suddenly decides she’s going to yeet to Adelaide for a while. The mind boggles that she can just walk out of her job for a holiday without making any prior arrangements or working to get herself ahead, but Susan didn’t seem bothered, so clearly there can’t be very much in the way of urgent work to do in the Eirini Rising office.
I Have Some Security Concerns
Talking of Eirini Rising, there are still a lot of questions about who helped themselves to one of the residents’ wine deliveries, which leads me to my first security concern – surely a retirement complex NEXT TO A SCHOOL, where there has been a history of theft and vandalism would have CCTV everywhere? It wouldn’t be a difficult task to scan through the footage from whichever camera is focused on the complex entrance and see that it was Terese who nabbed the wine. Where are the damn security cameras, and why has nobody thought of doing this?
My other security concern is at the tram, where hundreds of dollars in cash is just left lying around in envelopes rather than being banked or being in the till, and the second this cash goes missing, everyone looks at Felix. OK, he’s got prior form, but he’d have to be pretty stupid to swipe cash from the only employer currently willing to give him a chance. There’s only Holly who goes into bat for him, convinced that he didn’t do it, and clearly starting to fall for him in a big way.
Karl fires him immediately and Remi, who was starting to come around on the matter of Felix, goes back to hating his guts so quickly that I bet she gave herself whiplash.
Krista, who has nothing whatsoever to do with the operation of the tram, even decides that as a result of this, Felix can’t perform in the Boylesque show either, which seems like an absolutely bizarre decision to me, and was surely only written in to get Karl and his bumcheeks on to the stage.
In the end it’s Cara who suspects that everyone is being quick to judge Felix, so she does no more than go to the tram while it’s closed and start dismantling bits of it to find the envelope of cash, which has fallen down a crack somewhere. Erm, I’m sorry, what? How is it OK to just go waltzing into other people’s businesses and start taking stuff apart? I know she had good intentions, but she just did a spot of breaking and entering.
Security in Erinsborough is wild.
Boylesque Happens
My face has only just managed to turn itself back the right way after I cringed it inside out watching the Boylesque show. Call me a prude if you like, but I hate strip shows, I find them so embarrassing to watch. I genuinely had to look away a few times during the Boylesque show, but I saw enough to scar me for life.
Talking of being scarred for life, what the hell was the deal with everyone turning up to watch members of their own family stripping? It makes me want to vomit for days and days. So much ick.
Can we please put the adult entertainment to bed for a bit now?
BRhett is a Spy
I genuinely can’t tell if Aaron’s new love interest with all the teeth is called Brett or Rhett, so I’m just going to call him BRhett. Anyway, he’s been flirting outrageously with Aaron for days, and then he takes the plunge and asks him out. Aaron runs a mile, which is understandable considering his last fling was with his late husband’s stalker.
Those fears are dredged up again though when BRhett goes to the share house viewing and tells differing stories about why he’s there. Aaron is worried he might be getting himself another stalker, when in actual fact BRhett appears to be in cahoots somehow with Vera. Can’t wait to see where this goes!
Also, her hot pink lipstick was incredible. What an icon.
The Rodwells All Overreact
This Wendy/Andrew/Sadie drama is doing my head in, and this week they all overreact wildly to every situation they’re put in. Wendy is still overreacting about Andrew checking up on her with Quinn, so she’s left to go and stay with family, and then decides she’s going to take a job there. I’ll admit that Andrew’s mistrust wasn’t cool, but this seems like a massively dramatic way to deal with it.
Andrew speaks to Wendy, who says she’s committed to their marriage (despite deciding to spend months away from him), and all he hears are the positive things she’s saying. He bafflingly prepares the world’s worst birthday buffet for her, which seems to comprise of 400 fortune cookies, an item of food that is famously consumed in units of one, after a meal. All I could see on the table were fortune cookies and prawn crackers. Can you imagine how dry that buffet would be? I’m thirsty just thinking about it.
Sadie gets angry that Andrew isn’t listening to Wendy, so she has her own overreaction where she flounces out of the family home and moves in with Byron without even speaking to him about it first.
Someone should go and check the carbon monoxide levels in the Rodwell house because they’re all being absolutely barking mad.
Vic Is Inexplicably The Hottest Property in Erinsborough
Somehow Vic, who gives me major Dr Strange vibes, is the most desirable man in Ramsay Street, with Jane and Melanie both reduced to wittering simpletons in his presence. They’ve both got it bad for him, and they both decide to tell him all about it on exactly the same day.
Not wanting to ruffle any feathers, Vic accepts a dinner invitation from Jane and a dessert invitation from Melanie, but he doesn’t make it out of Jane’s before she hurls herself at him.
I genuinely couldn’t care less about Vic but a battle between two of the classic Neighbours women should be quite entertaining.
A Few Random Notes
As usual, here are a few random notes I took while watching Neighbours this week, where you can relive me having to watch the Boylesque show practically in real time:
- Byron worried about his bits hanging in the wind 😂
- NOT KARL.
- Oh Christ this Boylesque show is too much for me. I’m so embarrassed I’m going to die.
- NO ANDREW. STOP GRINDING ON JANE. YOU HAVE TO SEE HER PRACTICALLY EVERY DAY.
- KARL’S BUMCHEEKS. PLEASE SAVE ME.
- Oh, thank god that’s over.
Me too