I love love. I know that’s not an unpopular sentiment, but what does it truly mean? Most people, myself included, probably interpret “love” in the context of the first sentence of this paragraph as romantic love. To be fair, that’s probably what it’s implied to mean most of the time. But love is such a multifaceted emotion. The way I love my parents is different from the way I love my boyfriend is different from the way I love spicy miso ramen, and they all know that. Well, maybe not the ramen, but you see what I mean. “Love” is too big a word for just four letters. For this reason, I have always been intrigued by the eight ancient Greek words for love. Every one expresses such a different, equally important type of love. It just makes so much sense to me to celebrate love in all its forms.
Except maybe mania… We shouldn’t celebrate mania.
With that in mind, here’s a list of eight of my favorite love stories for each of the eight ancient Greek words for love.
Eros (passionate love)
A Court of Mist and Fury, Sarah J. Maas
Notable quote: “I was his and he was mine, and we were the beginning and middle and end. We were a song that had been sung from the very first ember of light in the world” Sarah J. Maas, A Court of Mist and Fury (2016).
Call this a basic choice, but popular things are popular for a reason. And Sarah J. Maas’s A Court of Thorns and Roses series is popular for all the right reasons. A Court of Mist and Fury is my favorite book in the series (and that of many others!). It’s just the right ratio of compelling story and (equally compelling) spice. I love this book because nothing comes easy. It’s a fantasy novel, but it addresses real-life problems and acknowledges there is no easy fix for them. Love is a healing force in this story, but not in a way that’s as corny as I just made it sound, and it certainly doesn’t come easy, either. This story is a magical, tumultuous page-turner. Mass’s characters are so easy to root for, and the tension she creates between them is so masterfully woven. Their chemistry is so believable, and their… passionate moments are beautifully written. A Court of Mist and Fury is so much fun. The whole series is, really. It’s one you’ll desperately wish you could read for the first time all over again. And if you haven’t read it yet… You’ve got a lot to look forward to.
Philia (affectionate love)
Tuesdays with Morrie, Mitch Albom
Notable quote: “Love is how you stay alive, even after you are gone” Mitch Albom, Tuesdays with Morrie (1997).
I read this book in high school to write a paper for my cousin’s English class (to his freshman English teacher: If you’re reading this, that was a joke!). It has been almost a decade since then, and I have not stopped thinking about it. This book is a raw and beautiful chronicle of the intertwined lives of author Mitch Albom and his favorite sociology professor, Morrie Schwartz. Years after his college graduation, Albom has lost touch with Morrie and himself, in a way, dedicating his life and time to unfulfilling things he knows won’t matter in the end simply because they’re deemed socially acceptable. One day, he is shocked to find his old friend Morrie, now diagnosed with ALS, being interviewed on TV. He quickly gets in touch with the man, and Mitch begins spending his Tuesdays learning about life from Morrie. There is so much to be learned from both men in this story. Mitch is honorable for his honesty and willingness to admit he had too long been caught up in a lifestyle that looked good but didn’t feel good; Morrie for his unconditional humility, love, and gratitude for the life he has been given. This beautifully tragic book puts love at its very center and inspires readers to live a life that is truly fulfilling, even if it doesn’t adhere to cultural norms. You’ll need tissues for this one, but I firmly believe Morrie’s message is one everyone could benefit from hearing.
Agape (universal love)
Siddhartha, Hermann Hesse
Notable quote: “Now he too felt, late, once in his lifetime, this strongest and strangest of all passions, suffered from it, suffered miserably, and was nevertheless in bliss, was nevertheless renewed in one respect, enriched by one thing” Hermann Hesse, Siddhartha (1922).
Siddhartha is an unexpected favorite book of mine. It’s more of a “life” story than a love story, though in a way it ponders what life is without love. The protagonist of this story, Siddhartha, is a young man in search of enlightenment. He seeks fulfillment in asceticism (the practice of resisting one’s desires), in extreme wealth, and in sensuality, but he finds himself ultimately dissatisfied with each of these lifestyles for different reasons. Throughout the majority of the book he grapples with love, seeing it as a tie to the physical world he wishes to transcend. It isn’t until he realizes all the world’s good and all of its bad are intertwined and integral to understanding it that Siddhartha can truly find the peace he has spent his whole life seeking. I love the way this story explores the importance of balance and “going with the flow” and embracing the beauty life holds even if it can sometimes be painful.
Storge (familial love)
The Namesake, Jhumpa Lahiri
Notable quote: “Despite his American upbringing, there is something inherently foreign about him, something that announces itself no matter where he is, that will never go away, that he knows he will pass on to his children, something he neither resents nor celebrates, something he is only aware of” Jhumpa Lahiri, The Namesake (2003).
I read this book in college for an English professor whose family immigrated from India, and I remember it so clearly because she would supplement its chapters with similar anecdotes from her own experience. She loved how real the depiction of an immigrant family feels in this book, and her passion for it shaped my perspective. Family love in “The Namesake” is depicted through the sacrifices the parents, Ashoke and Ashima, make for their children, their desire to pass on their cultural heritage, and the support system they provide. The story is written in third person and regularly shifts perspective, but its primary focus is on Ashima and Ashoke’s son, Gogol, as he learns to navigate the western world while not wishing to lose his cultural background. He and his family do not always have it easy, but throughout all the trials and tribulations Gogol’s life presents him with, his family is a constant safe place for him to return to. Despite the cultural and generational gaps, they remain connected through shared experiences and the deep love between them. The novel beautifully illustrates how family love evolves and adapts over time in response to the changes and challenges life brings.
Mania (obsessive love)
He Loves Me… He Loves Me Not, dir. Laetitia Colombani
Notable quote: “We all dream of a great love affair. I just dreamed a bit harder,” Angélique (Audrey Tautou), He Loves Me… He Loves Me Not (2002).
So, this isn’t a book, but, on the topic of obsessive love, I couldn’t think of a title more fitting. “Mania” refers to extremely toxic romance. Think stalking, threats, violence… the ancient Greek vision of love was quite well rounded, you could say. He Loves Me… He Loves Me Not, or, À la folie… pas du tout, is a 2002 French psychological thriller film that… includes no shortage of the aforementioned topics. It follows Angélique, an art student, and Loïc, a married cardiologist with whom she is having an affair. Both parties seem happy with their arrangement until Loïc must choose between his wife and his mistress… and chooses wrong. At least in the eyes of Angélique, who refuses to let the relationship go without a fight. I can’t say much more about the plot without spoiling its… delightful twists and turns, but I will recommend discovering them for yourself. I will advise viewer discretion as this story does contain a multitude of sensitive topics, but if you are comfortable with dark themes (and subtitles), this is a must-watch. He Loves Me… He Loves Me Not is a deeply unsettling and brilliantly infuriating film that will leave you wondering what’s really going on in people’s minds long after the credits roll.
Ludus (playful love)
Will Grayson, Will Grayson, John Green and David Levithan
Notable quote: “You like someone who can’t like you back because unrequited love can be survived in a way that once-requited love cannot” John Green, Will Grayson, Will Grayson (2010).
While anyone who has read this book may have trouble interpreting it as “playful,” “ludus” can describe young love and having a crush. And young love and having a crush can be messy, awkward, and endearing, just like this story is. I have always liked John Green but was a huge fan of his books in my early teens, and, even including The Fault in Our Stars, this has always been my favorite book of his. The story follows two high school boys, both named Will Grayson, as they attempt to navigate through the end of high school, the beginning of early adulthood, and their own personal struggles. The boys meet one fateful night, drawn together by the realization of their shared name, and their stories continue to intertwine from that point onward as both Will Graysons embark on unexpected journeys of self-discovery and acceptance. This book is surely quirky, but at its core Green and Levithan capture the uncomfortable clunkiness of youth and young love with clear understanding of the subjects.
Pragma (enduring love)
The Alchemist, Paulo Coelho
Notable quote: “So, I love you because the entire universe conspired to help me find you” Paulo Coelho, The Alchemist (1988).
The Alchemist is one of my favorite books of all time. It leaves me feeling joyful and light every time I read it. It is so powerful to me because it addresses so many themes, but love is at this story’s very core. Because of this, I knew I wanted to include The Alchemist on this list… I just couldn’t decide where to put it. For a long time I was confident it would be my entry for “agape,” which I could still make a compelling argument for, but after flipping through its pages once more, I decided to put it here. It is when he finally finds romantic love that answers to some of Santiago’s longest burning questions begin falling into place. He was never looking for it, but he knows immediately when he had found it, and, once he realizes it, it becomes a driving force for him and his Personal Legend. Even though continuing on his journey will take Santiago far away from the one he loves, they both agree he must fulfill his destiny. The love the two share is selfless and pure and a huge part of what makes this story so stunning. There is something in The Alchemist for everyone. It is a beautiful story that is bound to make you think, and I will continue recommending it for… ever, probably.
Philautia (self love)
The Midnight Library, Matt Haig
Notable quote: “She imagined accepting it all. The way she accepted nature. The way she accepted seeing a glacier or a puffin or the breach of a whale. She imagined seeing herself as just another brilliant freak of nature. Just another sentient animal, trying their best. And in doing so, she imagined what it was like to be free” Matt Haig, The Midnight Library (2020).
The Midnight Library is a story about a woman named Nora who is unhappy with her life and ultimately tries to take it. In a state in between life and death, Nora finds herself in a place called “The Midnight Library.” As libraries tend to be, it’s filled with shelves that are filled with books. What makes it different is, each book details a life Nora could have lived if she had made different decisions. What follows this novel’s harrowing beginning is an exploration of the theme of self-love through Nora’s journey of introspection and self-discovery. It teaches that self-love comes from understanding and accepting oneself, including recognizing one’s worth, capabilities, and the significance of one’s choices. Nora’s experiences in the Midnight Library allow her to see the value in her own life, leading her to a deeper appreciation of herself and a more profound love for the life she has. Through this exploration, the book suggests that embracing our choices, learning from our regrets, and finding contentment in our present are key to embracing and loving oneself.
