Things on Ramsay Street are still in a little bit of limbo between big storylines. The Andrea/Dee thing is still rumbling on, nothing’s really been resolved in the Kyle/Gary/Amy love triangle, and Roxy continues to be irritating. So, in lieu of something big to talk about, I have a few questions about some smaller things that happened on Neighbours last week.
- Please can Finn and Bea never do role play ever again?
Bea and Finn’s first date in the park was pretty excruciating, partly because he accidentally said something creepy that he’d said when he was pretending to be Patrick, but mostly because they decided for some reason to pretend to be a country star and her manager (or something), complete with silly accents. Finn even did a bit of a dance. I have a real issue with second hand embarrassment, and this scene was almost physically painful for me to watch. Let’s never speak of it again.
- Has Neighbours reached peak innuendo?
Neighbours loves a bit of innuendo from time to time – does anyone remember that episode where they went mad with fruit and veg double entendres and Susan held a pair of melons in front of her chest? Well, the writers seem to have revisited their big book of vegetable innuendos, and the awkward sex talk between Yashvi and Shane culminated in Shane instructing his daughter to always make that sure her and Ned, “washed their lettuce and cucumber.” More second hand embarrassment for me. This week has been a lot.
- Did Elly fart?
Aaron decided to try to get Chloe and Elly to be friends again by organizing them a massage afternoon, and somehow didn’t see an issue with two people with some romantic history getting semi-naked and oiled up in front of each other. But before they got to that point, Elly emitted a suspect noise. She says it was the massage bed – but I categorically don’t believe her. That did not sound like the bed to me, and I will go to my grave believing that Elly let one go in front of someone she may or may not be attracted to. I mean, let’s face it, it’s not the worst thing she’s ever done.
- What’s for lunch at Karl’s?
Hash browns and pickles, apparently. Or, to be more accurate, one hash brown per person and pickles. I know Karl is notoriously thrifty, and also the lunch with Dipi, Dee and Toadie was a little bit last minute, but he lives within walking distance of a coffee shop and a pub. Was a tray of hash browns and a massive jar of pickles really the best he could do? Hash browns and pickles? For lunch? I haven’t been shopping for a good few days, but I reckon I could rustle up something that vaguely resembled a meal if I suddenly invited someone over for dinner, rather than just running into my kitchen in a panic and pretending that a few chicken nuggets and a tomato constituted a recognizable meal, for instance. Come on, Karl…