I’ve never been a fan of the Far Cry series. Sure, they’re fun, but I find myself taking a different route when navigating the wilds of gaming.

But DAMN if I’m not tempted by some of the things I’ve seen.

The r/gaming subreddit has, lately, taken to posting the interesting things they find in the game. About 80% of those things happen to be item descriptions, the little blurb of information that pops up when you pick something up. From weapons, to fish, to books and magazines, everything has a description.

And they’re hilarious.

“Paddlefish caviar is a hot commodity, but even if you harvest the eggs yourself, you can’t take them out of state. Isn’t that just like the government to think they have a say over someone else’s eggs?”

The Great Albino Paddlefish has recently announced its candidacy for President. #JustKeepSwimming

“Cougars have similar body types to house cats, only on a larger scale. Both types of cats are also giant assholes.”

One of them claws your face and hands into a bloody mes whenever you get near it and wrecks all your stuff, and the other is a cougar.

“Its habitat has been described as “clean, complex, and connected” which, admit it, is also what you put on your last online dating profile.”

Y’all, I am living. I’m about 50% of the way to going out and buying the game for myself, if only for this. That I’ve also seen some great gameplay, including shots of the best dang doggo in recent gaming, doesn’t hurt.

Some of the references in the game won’t stay relevant for long, I’ll admit. A weapon in the game, the MS16, has a description that reads, “This is not your father’s tactical rifle. It’s lightweight, shoots a high caliber bullet, and instead of smoking, it vapes.” Vaping jokes are funny now, but in about ten to twenty years, vaping will just be vaping. Time is of the essence if you want all the references to make sense to you.