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Trash Cinema Review: Class of Nuke ‘Em High Part 2: Subhumanoid Meltdown

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Troam Entertainment Inc.

This one gets gross. And lewd. And rude. And hilariously crude. The Subhumanoid Meltdown is in full swing at the Tromaville Institute of Technology thanks to the newly rebuilt nuclear power facility and only a budding reporter can stop it. This was a fun movie to watch. It’s an outrageous hedonistic gross-out splatterfest. It’s a disgusting, stomach-turning, nausea-inducing heresy of a film and I love every second of it.

What is a subhumanoid and why are they melting down? A subhumanoid is a lab grown human mutant who has a second mouth where their navel should be. It is a fully functioning mouth with teeth and tongue that can talk, eat, smoke and do other fun things. (That sex scene is wicked bizarre.) Created by a madwoman scientist with hair inspired by Marge Simpson, Professor Holt. She wants the subhumanoids to thrive and be able to live among humans and work for them, but her boss, the repulsive Dean Okra, has darker plans for them.

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Troma Entertainment Inc.

The big drawback to being a subhumanoid is their rather short shelf life. They have a tendency to become unstable and melt into a living pile of goo. A meltdown reduces the subhumanoid to a strange creature that is mostly head, eyes and mouth. They look like you took Fizzgig from the Dark Crystal and kept him at the bottom of a construction site port-o-potty for a week. These things are absolutely hideous although they are harmless. Professor Holt is working on a formula in secret that will stop her creations from melting down.

Now we come to Roger Smith, a reporter for the Tromaville Institute of Technology newspaper. It all begins when he witnesses a woman playing in an impromptu basketball game has a sudden fit where she convulses, falls down and literally melts into a pool of green stuff. During his following investigation, he meets Victoria, she is a subhumanoid and they fall in love. Roger will do anything to save the woman he loves even if it means he will infiltrate the Professor’s lab and risk both their lives in the process.

Roger Smith is played by a man with the improbable name of Brick Bronsky. I took the liberty of looking him up, and I found his real name is Jeffrey Beltzner and he was a professional body builder who wanted to do some acting. He was also the slightly-cringy villain in Sgt. Kabukiman NYPD. Honestly, he’s not the best actor I’ve ever seen, some of his scenes are very cheesy, but he’s not that bad either, and no I’m not just covering my butt so he doesn’t come around and beat me up.

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Troma Entertainment Inc.

There is quite a bit of from-the-waist-up nudity in this movie, and everyone in Tromaville wears very skimpy clothing. Victoria runs around the entire movie in a negligee, and the half-assed reason they give makes no sense whatsoever. Class of Nuke Em High Part 2 is insane, funny and sexy all at the same time, and if you stick around long enough you’ll get to see what happens when a harmless little squirrel eats toxic waste.

We even get a cameo from the Toxic Avenger who serves no other purpose than to break the fourth wall. He doesn’t just break it, he kicks the shit out of it and it gets a bit meta for a minute or two. I really want to you guys to watch this one, but there is one tiny problem.

Troma does not have it available on their YouTube channel. They have Part 3 (the good, the bad, and the subhumanoid) but not part 2. I don’t want to embed a bootleg copy either. I’d recommend getting a DVD or Blu-Ray.

But I can give you the next best thing. The Trailer to Class of Nuke ‘Em High Part 2 – Subhumaniod Meltdown.

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