This episode of Younger takes place over a couple of days and culminates with almost everyone (sorry Maggie) in the same space together, getting real awkward.
Let’s talk about Josh first, he finally takes Claire the Irish bartender/video game designer out on a real date. They go to a Mexican restaurant where homegirl eats a LOCO hot jalapeño and then doesn’t wash her hands when she touches Josh’s dick later when they get home! He starts burning up with JALAPENO DICK and then they start googling what to do before Josh’s perfect dick melts off and they decide to stick it in a giant tub of yogurt that belonged to Kelsey but that hopefully she doesn’t eat out of anymore.
Kelsey gives Josh a book deal faster than it takes me to decide what to wear in the morning by convincing him to do an adult colouring book for Empirical with his tattoos as the things people can colour. Bae is super into it and especially into the 10 thousand dollar advance that comes with it. Since he’s a “writer” for Empirical now, he gets an invite to the company picnic at Charles’ house. CHARLES! WHO KISSED LIZA AS JOSH WAS GOING TO PROPOSE TO HER! YEAH! THAT DILF!
You know who else gets invited to this party? Pauline, the ex-wife. Charles is debating inviting her but then Liza is all “but all our authors are invited though!” so he’s like ugh fine but why are you cock-blocking us!? He doesn’t say that but he definitely thinks it. Pauline is still trying to get Charles back, and while editing the book with Liza at a small table in a very crowded café, all she wants to do is gossip. See she heard from a friend that Charles was dating/having feelings for someone else. This friend happens to be Julie. Julie is married to Bob. Bob is friends with Charles and can’t keep his mouth shut, even though DILFbae specifically told him to stfu. Also as a reminder, Bob’s daughter happens to be Caitlyn’s college roommate, and we all figured Liza’s daughter would fuck it all up for everyone eventually by being so un-smooth. Anyway, Liza can’t tell Pauline that she’s the other woman so she tries to set some boundaries but it doesn’t really work.
Diana is the one who put together the company picnic, so you know it’s going to be incredible. Asian Slaw! Potato Sack Race! Fun! At the party, Kelsey meets Lochlan’s wife Preena (cool joke making fun of her name, show *eyeroll*) who doesn’t love that this blonde bush will be working closely with her husband. Diana sees Josh and she gets concerned for Liza but when she finds out that Liza set him up with the tiny blonde she’s unimpressed and walks away. “Later we have to have a talk about how not to be a doormat!” Pauline gives Liza a tour of the house and shares all the little memories she shared with Charles throughout their time together. It’s always awesome when your crush’s ex tells you stories about how great he is as she’s trying to win him back…
We move away from this awkwardness onto the sack race. DILFbae accidentally knocks over TattooBae and TattooBae is so pissed at everything that DILFbae has done to him and his relationship that he PUNCHES DILFbae in the face! Right in his perfect nose and/or perfectly sculpted jawline! Kelsey yells at Josh, who feels it was #WORTHIT, and Liza goes after Charles. He’s such a sweet gentlemenly man that he’s not even mad or annoyed at Josh, he just realizes that this means Josh saw them in the Hamptons & is like “I had this coming.” OH YOU SWEETIE PIE YOU!!!
Liza leans in close to look at his face and they make intense eye contact and then they start making out all passionately and scratching that itch we’ve all had for years (or if you’re me, the past few weeks since my eyes were opened to #TeamCharles). He invites her to spend the night but her morality kicks in. Charles reassures her that his feelings for her haven’t changed, but she knows the feelings have changed and the situation has changed, so she walks away. If she was actually 27, she would have just fucked up, because as you know, Millennials think of nothing by ourselves (lol).
As if we didn’t have enough back and forth and cock-blocking happening between these two, Liza explains to Kelsey why Josh hates Charles so much and Kelsey’s only advice is DONT SLEEP WITH THE BOSS YOU DUMDUM.
Younger airs Wednesdays on TVLand, and you can come back next Wednesday to read my ramblings about the ongoings.