Source: Riverdale/CW

Stop right there! If you’re not caught up yet, check out last episode’s recap here.

Let’s get something off our chests, guys. The show Riverdale is clearly based off of the darker Archie Comics series like, for example, Afterlife with Archie (the modern introduction/twincest of Jason Blossom), Archie’s Weird Mysteries (the dark mysterious feel) and most of all the new teen-drama Mark Waid/Fiona Staples Archie series, from which this show borrows most of its tumultuous character relationships and secretive side-plots, as opposed to pulling from the original happy-go-lucky 1940’s comics. This begs the burning question: is Jughead’s iconic sheepdog and best friend Hot Dog still alive? Everyone knows that a rite of passage to be ‘dark and gritty’ is to kill a dog, and I know Hot doesn’t make it all the way through all of these source material storylines. I just don’t know if I can’t handle waiting for that answer. We’ve already met Archie’s dog, Vegas, who, at least as far as I can recall, doesn’t exist in the comics. If this is the show’s feeble attempt to replace Hot Dog, #BoycottRiverdale2017. Just saying.

ANYWAY. This week starts off exactly where last week left off: Jughead Jones narrating as Cheryl Blossom is escorted out of class by Principal Weatherbee and Sheriff Keller for the murder of her too-close-for-comfort twin, Jason. “Guilt, innocence. Good, evil. Life, death. (Betty, Veronica.) As the shadows around Riverdale deepened, the lines that separated these polar opposites blurred and distorted.” Brought into Weatherbee’s office as a makeshift interrogation room, Cheryl immediately amends her shocking statement, saying that she meant she was guilty of lying, not of murder. Well, dammit. I wasted a perfectly good heart attack on a misleading confession. Reinforcing that she did last see her brother on July 4th, Cheryl tells the officials that Jason was planning to run away from Riverdale, so she rowed with him to the other side of Sweetwater River and faked his drowning death so he could Blossom into a fresh new life elsewhere without the backlash of their parents. (That explains the whole ‘he was supposed to come back’ business. I, for one, am glad it wasn’t witchcraft.) The plan would’ve went off without a hitch, had Jason not up and actually died on July 11th – hopefully after he received his free Slurpee from 7-Eleven. Curiouser and curiouser, Cheryl, coming clean, tells the police that they did hear a gunshot after they reached the Greendale bank of the river, and hypothesizes that maybe his future murderer took aim that day and missed the shot – presumably the same blast Archie and Ms. Grundy heard during their coital morning ‘picnic’. Sheriff Keller, however, is not on board with this story, and points out inconsistent details like Cheryl having no way to corroborate her story, not knowing why Jason wanted to fake his own death and the fact that she was apparently ‘too upset’ to report the gunshot sooner, but not too upset to perform at a pep rally. Before she can defend herself, Cheryl’s parents, Penelope and Clifford Blossom, interrupt the meeting and angrily drag their daughter out, advising her to not say another word without a lawyer present and lambasting her for lying to them… as a perpetually guilt-ridden Archie (have you noticed yet?) looks on.

After the title card, local newspaper press owner and resident grudge-y sociopath Alice Cooper tosses the newest issue of The Riverdale Register on her daughter Betty’s bed, proud as can be of her hot-off-the-presses accusatory anti-Cheryl headline. Betty isn’t cool with this, though – especially not after her mom’s recent leak of Jason’s autopsy report. Alice pays no mind to this, stating that a scoop’s a scoop; she DEFINITELY wouldn’t have any ulterior motives against the Blossom family for any reason. No way, no how. Betty suggests her mom write about the real questions regarding Jason’s death, and Alice challenges her to Lois Lane it up and do it herself. Later, at school, (or maybe ‘meanwhile’? The timelines never seem to quite line up.) after pondering on Ms. Grundy and her mad cello skills, Archie musters up the courage and heads into Weatherbee’s office to confess to what he heard. The ever-skeptical sheriff, however, begins questioning Archie why he was even there so early, and thinking on his feet, Archie lies and says he was working on some music (teachers). He presses further, asking more detailed questions and eventually landing on ‘were you alone?’. Archie admits he wasn’t – he was with… his dog, Vegas. Ouch. Some petname. (Double entendre. Boom!)

Source: Riverdale/CW

Later, in the student’s lounge, Archie, Betty, Veronica Lodge and Sheriff Keller’s thoroughly homosexual son Kevin are discussing the pros and cons of their new lives as potential suspects (as no one is off the table), and, inspired, Kevin suggests they re-binge Making a Murderer to celebrate. Betty can’t – she’s taking her mom’s advice and starting work on the school paper – and Veronica can’t either, as she has a date. On cue, just as Kevin grills her on the deets, Chuck Clayton stops by to remind Ronnie of the time and place. (This isn’t totally out of the blue – if you paid attention last episode, just before Archie and Reggie fought you could see her flirting with the football coach’s son in the background.) Apparently this is a big deal, as though he’s reportedly a player, Chuck is hot Riverdale real estate. You can practically smell Kevin’s jealousy. Important question: with the girls out, did Arch and Kevin still Netflix (and chill) alone? Someone write me a fanfic, stat.

Later, Jughead walks into the outdated office of the dormant school paper, the Blue and Gold, at Betty’s request. Despite his initial hesitations, she wants him to write for her because she heard about his novel and knows he’s ambitious about reporting, even sweetening him up by using his cutesy Archie Comics nickname Juggie. Reluctantly – after the promise of (mostly) complete freedom – he gives in, and Betty gives him his first assignment: to talk to the one Independence Day witness no one’s talking about… Dilton Doiley. Meanwhile, Archie gets home late and his dad Fred is none too happy. See, Sheriff Keller called and gave him the heads up on Archie’s confession… but he thought his son was on a summer roadtrip with Jughead that day. Unimpressed with Archie’s recent bout of chronic dishonestitis, Fred brandishes his single-dad-weapon-of-choice and grounds him for two weeks for not coming to him sooner. Elsewhere, Veronica and Chuck are taking a selfie outside of Pop Tate’s Chock’lit Shoppe, ranked #1 on Forbes’ ‘Top Ten Most Innocent Things Two Frisky Teens Can Do In A Car On The First Date (#7 Blew My Mind!)’. After some small talk about what it’s like to be the new kids and some G-rated flirting, the pair makes out.

Source: Riverdale/CW

The next morning, Geraldine Grundy scolds Archie for going public with his story, even if she was reduced down (or upgraded up?) to a dog in his narrative. Always thinking of everyone but herself, Ms. Grundy complains that his being involved in the investigation could lead back to their statutory r– …elationship, and suspends Archie’s AP music lessons indefinitely to appear less suspicious and/or punish him. In the halls, Ronnie begins to tell Betty and Kevin about how she’s just not that into Chuck when Cheryl’s hyenas Tina Patel and Ginger Lopez strut past and congratulate her on her ‘Sticky Maple’ last night. Now, I’m Canadian and even I don’t know what this is, but UrbanDictionary may hold some NSFW clues. Kevin gets a text and drama-gasps – Chuck has posted all over social media that he gave Veronica a Sticky Maple last night (a bizarre Riverdale rite of sexual passage), and shared the selfie they took with maple syrup Photoshopped all her face – and people are bashing our girl hardcore in the comments. Veronica is understandably upset, and doesn’t think Betty’s ‘good girl’ ideas going to Weatherbee nor exposing Chuck in the Blue and Gold would even make a dent in Riverdale High’s star player and all-around golden boy. Neither ashamed or a slut, and refusing to be slut-shamed, Veronica resolves to ‘go full dark, no stars’ and storms off to presumably cut Chuck’s brakes, conscripting Betty into helping her.

The girls march into the boy’s locker room slash shower, nearly making Archie drop his towel in surprise. (OH, DARN.) Veronica is spitting piss and vinegar, though,  and pushes him (and everyone else) out of the way ‘til she gets to Chuck, and his considerably-nicer-than-Archie’s abs. Backed up by his boy Moose Mason, Chuck charismatically-yet-evilly refuses to take the picture down, playing the dreaded ‘what are you going to do about it?’ card. This riles feminist Betty up, and she blasts him for thinking he can humiliate women whenever he feels like it. (She even says what’s likely her first bad word! …’Jerk’.) Ignoring their ask, Chuck gets up in Veronica’s face (after offering Betty a ride on the Chuck Wagon… bleh) and says that that attitude don’t fly here in Bulldog territory, complete with obnoxious hypermasculine barking. He aggressively warns her to just try and defend herself – it’ll just make it worse – before stalking off in a towel like the ass he is. Meanwhile, in a lighter change of pace, Scout Master Dilton is humorously running strict military drills in front of the school with his seemingly too-old-to-be-Club Scouts, warning them that a moment’s hesitation could be the moment between life and death. Yes, Club Scouts. Complete with scout uniforms. Ridiculous. Jughead pops in and interrupts, and Dilton sets his scoutldiers at ease. Cutting right to the chase like the hard-hitting reporter he now is, Jug asks Dilton about the gunshot that both Archie and Cheryl confessed to hearing on the 4th of July. As annoyed as he is annoying, he snarkily tells Jughead that he already told the Sheriff that neither he nor his boys saw or heard anything weird that day, unless you count a couple of rare birds (a white-winged crossbill, a long-eared owl…) or a soaking wet Cheryl sitting on a rock. However, one of the eavesdropping scouts looks nervous and uncomfortable, and this doesn’t go unnoticed by our eagle-eyed new journalist.

Source: Riverdale/CW

Elsewhere, in class, Cheryl Blossom whisper-beckons to Archie and thanks him for making her no longer The Girl Who Cried Gunshot. Telling him to save the ‘aw, shucks’ for Betty (look, Ma, another comic reference!), she offers him a reward: one no-holds-barred wish for anything he wants; the only thing off the table is her body (but if we’re being real she’s doesn’t seem like she really means that). Archie protests that that’s not why came forward, but finally gives in as he does have one teeeeny request. Later, in the student lounge, enter one teeny request as Josie (of The Pussycats fame) approaches Archie practicing his music and offers him the chance to sit in on some Pussycat jam sessions as a favour to Cheryl, since The Grund bailed. Her mom, Mayor Sierra McCoy, is putting on a ‘Taste of Riverdale’ event (…blueberry? Sauerkraut?) and her band is set to perform, so they plan to practice every night this week. Archie is grounded, but that ain’t Josie’s prob, so he vows to make it work. Elsewhere, Veronica is ‘doing homework’ – AKA scrolling through the disgusting Sticky Maple comments – in her fancy estate. Hermione enters in her slick Pop’s waitress uniform and asks her daughter how the date went, but Veronica cryptically responds that IT JUST KIND OF SUCKED, MOM. Before they can get too into it, Betty calls, and Ronnie excuses herself to take it. As much as I believe in feminism and am totally against slut-shaming, these are fictional so let’s take a quick moment to pause here and read some of the comments, ‘cuz they’re kind of devastatingly hilarious. (Hilariously devastating?)

Source: Riverdale/CW

Apparently the longest phone call of life, we cut forward to Veronica hanging up the phone as she blazes through the Riverdale High halls. Except school appears to still be on. And Veronica is still wearing the same outfit. I swear that all students just go home at random times throughout the day, and also that Riverdale exists over many planes of existence so it’s different times of the day in different parts of town. Anyway, Veronica walks into the editorial office of the B&G and finds Betty surrounded by girls of all colours, shapes and sizes – all slut-shaming victims of Chuck and four other players (on AND off the field). Sitting front in centre is our girl Shannon Purser (Barb from Stranger Things), dressed as plain-Jane Archie Comics character ‘Big’ Ethel Muggs. This screen iteration of Ethel has bigger fish to fry than to obsessively stalk Jughead (as her comics counterpart loves to do), and she tells the disgusted group of girls of a time last year where she helped Chuck with a pre-calc problem and the next day he told everyone they had done dirty ‘sloppy seconds’ (NSFW) things together, and that the football players keep score of each conquest in a secret playbook. Ethel, along with the others, vows to go on record with their story to expose Chuck and his posse’s sick life-ruining game, since going to Weatherbee hasn’t helped – but not before sultry Cheryl interrupts to belittle them, making everything about herself/Jason and reminding them that ‘River Vixens cheer practice starts in five minutes, sluts.’ Cheryl denounces the idea of this burn book, saying that her brother was co-captain of the football team with Chuck and he never mentioned nor would have allowed such behaviour. Veronica has had enough, and snaps back at Cheryl that ‘book or no book, these girls aren’t lying and they’re going to take those players down – so join us or get out of our way’, before uttering the badass women-power mantra: “You wanna get caught in the backdraft, Cheryl? Call me or any one of these beautiful, young, strong and intelligent women ‘slut’ one more time.” Cheryl even has the decency to look a little ashamed of herself.

At Pop Tate’s, in the ‘nighttime hemisphere’ of Riverdale, the unnamed nervous scout – let’s call him Tad. He looks like a Tad – is about to dig into a delicious chock’lit sprinkle sundae when the cherry becomes Riverdale’s second recent homicide as it is mysteriously murdered by Jughead’s mouth (prompting the best ‘what the hell, man?’ reaction ever.) Stealing his sundae with no remorse or protesting from Tad, Jughead calls him out for hiding something, and Tad admits that Scoutmaster Doiley was lying to him earlier – he was the one who fired the gun. (Note: this is yet another example of the show’s version of the classic common comic trope of Jughead being obsessed with food!) Tad goes on to say that Dilton’s a hardcore survivalist (no surprises here) and he was teaching the scouts how to shoot. I also noticed here that Tad’s scout uniform reads ‘Riverdale Bird Scouts’, but Jughead calls them ‘Grizzlies’ so colour me confused. As this all goes down, Archie sneaks out of his upper bedroom window with his guitar and joins up with ⅔ of The Pussycats, Melody Valentine (Asha Bromfield) and Valerie Brown (Hayley Law) to chat them up about their musical process. This is interrupted by the infamously frosty Josie, who is already on the defence against Archie, who was suggesting to write songs for them. Josie lectures Archie on how hard it is for her or her mother, African-American women, to claw to the same societal heights that Archie, a Caucasian man, can easily come by – and Archie agrees. Elsewhere, Ethel leads Valerie’s brother and former football player Trev into Betty’s Blue and Gold office. He quit the team after he saw Chuck’s playbook – and he may know where it is. IT’S CAPER TIME.

That night (even though it was night when Archie snuck out and not night when Trev came forward… you know what? Just never mind), Betty, Ronnie, Kevin and Ethel sneak into the boys’ gym locker to try and find the book, but are caught red-handed by none other than the Red Queen Cheryl herself. See, she found out from Tina, who found out from Ginger, who found out from Josie who found out from Valerie who found out from Trev. Teenagers. Cheryl’s not here for mayhem this time though, and offers her help, presumably from guilt from earlier or to clear her brother’s name. Before they can vet her too extensively, Ethel calls them over – she found the book in Chuck’s gym locker. Can we take a minute and discuss how incompetent Weatherbee is? He was unable to find any evidence of the book when it was literally in the first place he should have looked. Also, why did Trev have to come forward dramatically? Why did nobody think of this sooner? Veronica (new girl – 9 points) and Ethel (big girl – 7.5 points) find their names, but that’s not what upsets Betty – her sister Polly is in this book… next to her messy-breakup ex-boyfriend Jason’s name (shy girl – 9 points). Cheryl tries to dance around it, but she can’t deny the evidence and dejectedly admits that maybe she didn’t know her brother as well as she thought. Veronica snaps a picture for Betty’s exposé, but Betty doesn’t care about that anymore – she wants justice for these girls who were hurt and then shamed into silence… and she has a plan. Elsewhere, at The Pussycats’ jam session, Val is struggling to come up with lyrics and the two other cats aren’t much help either. Archie, testing his boundaries, casually suggests a small wording change and the girls dig it. They belt out a fantastic Destiny’s Child-esque three-part harmony with Archie’s new lyrics, and Josie is so impressed that she asks him for more suggestions.

At Casa Cooper, Betty is applying the most powerful sexy makeup her innocent mind can come up with, complete with some obnoxiously blatant product placement from show sponsor Covergirl. Her psychotic mom enters – they clearly don’t own a TV because she spends more time in Betty’s room than anywhere else – and, completely in line with my expectations from her, negatively compares Betty to Polly and chastises her for her ‘provocative’ bright scarlet lipstick choice, suggesting she go for a nice light pink shade instead – even going so far as to literally wipe the red forcefully from her daughter’s face. She asks if Betty is planning on coming to the Taste of Riverdale event (…mango? Maple walnut?) with her and husband Hal tonight. but Betty claims she’s going over to Veronica’s to study and that her bitter mom better get used to their friendship, cause it ain’t goin’ nowheres. Since ‘studying at my friend’s’ is the universal lie code for ‘doing something I shouldn’t be’, Betty shows up at the Chock’lit Shoppe and seductively takes a seat across from our good buddy Chuck, who is munching on some fries, telling im that she wants to start being a bad girl. Chuck clearly strikes a nerve, telling her all about how ‘bad’ Jason claimed her sister was (’prissy prude by day, freak in the sheets by night’), and Betty takes a sec before she shakes it off to continue with her plan, asking Chuck to meet her at Ethel’s house tomorrow night to ‘show her how to be bad.’ He’s initially reluctant, but only ‘til Betty reassures him that the house will be empty, and that they have a pool… and a hot tub. Meanwhile, Archie sneaks home after jam practice, only to be caught be his dad. Obviously the king of timing, Archie asks Fred ‘not to freak out’, and begs permission to go to Taste of Riverdale (…orange sherbet?) because it’ll be the first time one of his songs will be performed live on-stage. Fred declines, even after Archie offers to extend his punishment as a form of barter, and Archie makes the valid point that if he had a football game instead of a music performance his somewhat unsupportive dad would’ve allowed it. Fred refuses to listen to it, so Archie stalks off to his room. YAY, DAD TALKS?

Source: Archie Comics

Since we’re running on Riverdale time, the next night Chuck shows up outside Ethel’s considerably lavish home for his rendezvous with Betty – but who opens the pool house door (yep, she has a pool house) but one Veronica Lodge, in the sexiest model of one-piece bathing suit they had in stock? Ronnie tells Chuck that she and Betty talked it over, and instead of fighting over boys they want to share. Entirely non-suspicious of the situation because his brain-blood has been reallocated elsewhere, Chuck follows a seductive Veronica to the hot tub, managing to sputter out a few words about waiting for Betty. On cue, Betty enters in a revealing retro swimsuit (that even shocks Veronica, who’s in on this plan) and sporting a black Sia bob wig, uttering the most bafflingly confusing and/or poorly-written line in this usually-clever show: “Betty couldn’t make it, so she sent me instead.” Elsewhere, at the town hall (maybe), Mayor McCoy is giving her opening address to the first annual Taste of Riverdale, and announces the taste is actually a bit like a chalky old Sweetart. Hermione is catering for Pop’s at the event, and is approached separately by Fred (to catch up) and Ms. Grundy (to order a blue-cheese slider). Fred Andrews introduces himself to Ms. Grundy and asks if he can talk to her. She stiffens up a bit, perhaps noting that the KJ Apple does in fact fall far from the Luke Perennial tree. Sheriff Keller and Mayor McCoy approaches a sullen Cliff and Penelope Blossom, but the couple doesn’t have any interest in speaking to anyone, least of all the mayor and sheriff who have failed to make any headway in their son’s murder – and even leaster of all Alice Cooper, who interrupts and is promptly greeted with a friendly motherly punch to the jaw for printing a few choice de-Blossoming articles. You know you’re in the wrong when you get coldcocked in full view of the sheriff and he does nothing to stop it because you suck as a person. Sensing the tension in the room, Josie and her crew rush on stage to hit the mic early and hopefully ease up the mood. His Archie-senses tingling, Arch sneaks up to the balcony (where Jughead was already chilling alone) to watch his song be performed. Jug admits the song’s not too shabby before jetting off to shake down an evil Adventure Scout. A very much grounded Archie continues to peek over the ledge at Josie and the Pussycats’ show, unaware that his dad is chatting up his forbidden lover mere feet below.

Source: Riverdale/CW

On the main floor, Fred and Geraldine make awkward small talk about Archie, and he asks her to come clean about something. Ignoring the beads of guilty sweat on her brow, Mr. Andrews acknowledges his son’s passion for music, but asks if he actually has talent and if it’s something he could make a living off of, or if he’s just wasting his time. See, he wants to be supportive, but he doesn’t want to watch Archie get hurt or pass up big opportunities just to fail. AWWWH. Ms. Grundy, possibly not talking about music, reassures Fred that he’s unquestionably very talented, and that it would be a shame if he didn’t at least try to pursue it. Guys, if you haven’t noticed, I love Fred Andrews. He’s not a perfect single dad, but he tries hard, dammit. However, just as Ms. Grundy starts metaphorically letting out a metaphorical sigh of metaphorical relief, Fred asks another pointed question: “What made you take such an interest in my son?” Nervous anew, all she can stammer out is the pathetic non-answer that he’s a special kid, but this seems to satisfy Fred. Elsewhere, fluttering from drama to drama like the shitterfly she is, Mrs. Cooper approaches Mrs. Lodge, mocking her for her new line of work and for all the slut-shaming her daughter’s going through at school. “That’s what happens when sluts get shamed.” Hermione clearly didn’t know about this, and can only get a dig in about Alice’s shifting alternative facts over the years before giving in and calling Veronica, who’s a leeeettle bit busy.

Aaaand… ignore call, while Betty slips muscle relaxant into a hot tubbing Chuck’s drink. Veronica suggests they take it a bit easier, but Bizarro World Betty (Ytteb?) has gone full dark, no stars and thinks it’s fine. Back at the mildly tangy Taste of Riverdale, our boy Jughead approaches a Filthy Frank-looking Dilton in the balcony stairwell (wearing something other than a scout uniform for the first time yet) and tells him everything he knows. Dilton tries to explain, but beat cop Jug says to save it for his statement, which he can either make to the sheriff or the B&G. Back at Ethel’s, Chuck wakes up handcuffed to the hot tub, which is getting hotter by the second. Veronica starts recording as Betty, in between dunking him under with her foot, tries to coerce a confession from Chuck about what really happened between him and Ronnie. He admits that nothing happened, and Veronica’s satisfied – but Betty isn’t. Done with his slut-shaming, she continues dunking him in the near-boiling water as she berates and belittles him (and while a gleeful Ethel watches from the doorway) – focusing on his comments about a certain ‘freak in the sheets’ in particular. Chuck apologizes for everyone and everything, but she’s still not done making an example. Despite Veronica’s concerns and protests that ‘good girl’ Betty (remember her?) is taking this too far, Ytteb rewards Chuck by breaking out a plastic jug of sweet Canadian nectar and giving him a scalding Sticky Maple of his own. Now, this episode has been very blatantly heavy-handed about its feminist women-power message and that’s fine. In this post-Agent Carter era we live in, every Scream Queens and their mother has an episode like this, as long as the show is led by strong female characters. However, departing from the usual nitty-gritty to delve into high school tropes more fitting of a Ryan Murphy teen drama may have diminished my suspension of belief a bit, because I was not prepared for (or particularly sold on) what happened next. Betty, pouring syrup on this poor boiling womanizer, demands he apologizing for ruining her life – referring to herself as ‘Polly’, and to Chuck as ‘Jason’. Okay, there, Tyler Durden. Veronica calls Betty off, and she cools off immediately with a convincing:

Source: Riverdale/CW

Coming home from school the next day, Archie finds his dad drilling away at the garage. If he’s going to be grounded, then he might as well be productive – so he’s putting up soundproof panelling for him. God, dad of the year. Round of applause. I’m so pleased. Archie is too, and thanks his dad a whole bunch. Fred admits that he talked to Ms. Grundy – they didn’t make them like that in his day – and she believes in Archie’s music, so so does he. Meanwhile, Betty proudly takes her first issues of the Blue & Gold off the printing press, while Veronica enters to congratulate her. Apparently Betty stayed up all night to write the exposé because neither of them could sleep after last night’s weirdness. Ronnie thanks her for coming through for her like no one ever has, but wants to discuss what went down with the wig and the crazy. Betty pulls a straight Spicer and gets defensive, denies and acts confused by what Veronica means, spinning her own version of what happened where she never went Dr. Jekyll, Mistress Hyde. Jughead’s narration kicks back in, stealing my line from earlier: ‘Good, evil. Light, dark. Betty, Veronica.’ Mr. Weatherbee, though still punishing our girls for their break-in, forces Coach Clayton to cut his son and his goons from the varsity squad – an action that, as Jughead tells us, would have terrible consequences in the weeks to come. As the women scorned watch as Chuck takes  the walk of shame, Veronica and Betty praise Ethel Muggs for her testimony and bravery – which spawns the Cheryl hashtag #JusticeForEthel, which has to be the best pandering to another show’s fanbase in television history. (#JusticeForBarb was an infamous hashtag used by fans of Shannon’s character in Stranger Things.) This is followed by a quick montage of scenes as we tie up loose ends. First, as Betty takes the book behind the school to burn or, Cheryl offers a lighter and uncharacteristically sincerely apologizes to Polly on Jason’s behalf. Following that, Archie thanks Ms. Grundy for talking to his dad and asks if they can resume lessons again, which she answers with a makeout session. Finally, Dilton comes forward to the Blue and Gold offices to tell Betty and Jughead something else he knows in exchange for immunity from his career-ruining gun story being published – he saw something else at Sweetwater River in the 4t of July… Miss Grundy’s car parked, and we both know she wasn’t the only one in it.

Source: Riverdale/CW

Uh-oh. Jughead already knows – but now what comes first? Journalistic integrity, or Archie’s friendship? How is this going to pan out? Find out by checking out Riverdale at 9:00 PM (EST) on The CW Or Canadian Netflix, after Supernatural!