“So, a crazy god, a vampire thug, and a shy incubus walk into a gas station… Sounds like the start of a really bad joke. My life is now a joke. Just great.”
Now hiring: Human organism wanted for work at a gas station!
Welcome to the world of Don’t eat the cashier!, a nightmarishly fun visual novel set during the night shift at a gas station. But this isn’t just any gas station. After answering a very strange help wanted ad, you find yourself in a gas station for monsters, taking orders from your cthulhu manager, Bob.
You have a few options.
- Have a mental breakdown when you realize this world is not only full of monsters but it is now your job to service them (silence and obedience is one of your duties, per the ad).
- Grin and bear it. Perhaps a minimum wage gas station job isn’t worth the risk of being eaten, but you really need the money.
- Have some fun. Is it a good idea to flirt with something that could kill you as easily as it could kiss you? No. But who can blame you when they’re all so hot?
Don’t eat the cashier! is a comedy dating-sim where three unique monsters visit you over the course of your first night at your new job. It is your job to serve them to the best of your ability in hopes of filling your tip jar by the end of the night, or suffer the consequences of Bob’s wrath and toilet cleaning duty.
Every choice matters! There are nine different endings to Don’t eat the cashier!. Depending on the choices you made throughout your shift and the monster you pick at the end of the night, your night has the potential to end in either romance or blood.
Your fate will lie in the hands of one of these three devilishly handsome monsters, if you so choose to dance with danger. Or you could just go home, but where’s the fun in that?
Deiran, the crazy god
The gas station plunges into darkness. There is nothing now. Not even the low hum of the fluorescent lights above you. Nothing at all. Just you and a mind drowning itself in the knowledge that monsters are real. Until the soft jingling of bells.
Bells? What the hell were bells–
You don’t have time to finish the thought before he appears in front of you. A pair of two, glowing red eyes in the dark. Staring at you, as if they could see into your very soul. And then they crinkle, like two crescent moons in the pitch black of an empty sky. Was he… Amused?
As you speak, the man tilts his head and his face comes into the light. Pale skin, with dark makeup painted around his eyes, and a grinning mouth full of pointed teeth. He laughs, pondering whether or not it would be amusing to turn you into the cash register, and the register into you.
But… how are you supposed to fill your tip jar selling juicy juices if you’re a cash register? That seems a surefire way to get stuck on toilet cleaning duty. Maybe it would be best if you just played along. And when he calls you beautiful, it feels easier to pretend. Perhaps you may survive this encounter with more than just your life, if you are able to out-trick the jester.
Meet Deiran, the lord of chaos. A prince turned god and monster. The mad king who likes strange and beautiful things and harbors a natural distrust for people in big hats.
While Deiran is most certainly insane, he knows how to treat a woman like a queen. That is, if he doesn’t find some reason to turn her into a toad first. Is he going to kill you? Worship you? Whisk you away to an enchanted forest to wine and dine you to your heart’s content? Who knows!
But when he finds that special girl who can look him in his haunted, glowing eyes and not balk at the monster behind them, he will not hesitate to offer her the world.
David, the vampire thug
A silhouette darkens the door to the gas station. While your last visitor came with the jingling of bells and laughter, this one comes with only the steady drip, drip, drip of blood.
It is apparent he is unwell before you even see his face, half clawed off and leaking blood all over his clothes. Dripping onto the floor and now the counter as he approaches you, leaning against it.
He was in a fight. A bad one.
You are unable to make out most of his features behind the blood and sunglasses he wears, but his fangs are unmistakable. Although he might have been human once, it is evident that he is one no longer.
“Blood,” he demands. And as he slides his sunglasses down what is left of his torn up nose, his grey eye pierces you. With a smile that could have been handsome, if he were not missing half of it, he speaks again. “I need blood.”
You swallow, afraid that he might mean yours. Would it be in your job description to comply if he asks? Would you be fired for refusing, if you weren’t killed by him first? You don’t find out, because as his grey eye flashes you find yourself moving, walking into the storage room to find the blood he has demanded from you. Pig’s blood will do, it seems. And if he changes his mind and turns those fangs on you, you at least hope he’ll leave you a tip.
Meet David, the vampire boyfriend of your nightmares! I mean, uh, dreams, because he is pretty dreamy once the blood is gone and he gets his whole face back.
David is the loner type and has only stumbled into the gas station out of pure necessity. It was supposed to be a quick stop. Go in, drink the blood, and get out. But when he finds a girl who offers him kindness and the promise of help, he…stays.
David is not used to being the subject of compassion, but he melts under it. Behind the sharp words and cold demeanor, he is surprisingly tender. He wants to be helped and cared for. To be protected. Who knew he would find exactly what he was looking for behind the counter of the strangest gas station he’s ever been in.
Viktor, the shy incubus
The crunch of gravel announces your next customer before you see him. And then the sound of hooves clacking against the tile floor of the gas station.
Hooves?
You look up from where you were cleaning some unknown sticky substance from the counter (it’s probably better if it stays unknown) to find a man lazily leaning against it. A man with glowing yellow eyes, two curved horns, and a tail, twitching nervously, betraying the emotions behind his attempted mask of cool nonchalance.
“H-hello… babe,” he says, and asks if your parents are pirates.
Is he… flirting with you? Out of all the things you’ve endured tonight, a bad pick up line delivered in a dimly lit gas station feels the most shocking. He’s rather awkward, but seems harmless, so you urge him to continue with a little smile.
A blush immediately ignites along his cheeks and across his nose, turning his pretty purple skin to a deep shade of red. And his tail, the betrayer of emotions, wags a little.
You should be scared. He’s an incubus, probably here to seduce you and feast on your emotions, but how can you be scared by this shy man blushing like a schoolgirl after only a single smile? You don’t know what he truly wants from you, but if it’s this easy to turn him into a blushing, flustered mess, you suppose you don’t mind him sticking around for a bit longer.
Meet Viktor, an awkward incubus who would much rather by rewatching Evangelion for the tenth time or discussing the soundtrack of Silent Hill than stalking the night looking for his next mortal soul to feed off of.
While other incubi might love the thrill of the chase, nothing is more enticing to Viktor than the stability of a single, monogamous relationship and the comfort of having one person to spend the rest of his long, immortal life with.
Viktor cannot flirt to save his life, but maybe with a little help from Everything You Ever Wanted to Know About Demons, and Everything You Didn’t Want to Know About Them, a book hiding in the back room of the gas station, there might be hope for him to unlock his talents as an incubus and find his perfect someone. Someone who preferably wants to cuddle with him on the couch, dine on pizza, and watch anime.
Who to choose?
“Maybe it was a bad idea. Or maybe it was my best one yet.”
Choose Deiran for…
A night of magic and dancing in a faraway kingdom. You fall into his embrace and he whisks you across the floor of the ballroom, your beautiful gown swirling around your feet. This is all yours now, him and his kingdom, for all of eternity.
Choose David for…
A romantic motorcycle ride under the fading light of the moon. Wrap your arms around his waist, pull him close, and enjoy the last few hours before sunrise together riding into the dawn. This may be your last sunrise as a human. Or maybe not. Whatever happens, you’ll face it together.
Choose Viktor for…
A cozy night of casual intimacy cuddled up on the couch playing video games. You rest your head on his shoulder. He blushes, predictably, and rests his head against yours. With the promise of happiness and a stable, committed relationship, you could stay right here forever.
Or you could return to the gas station for an evening with Bob. I don’t know what this entails, but I suspect tentacles will be involved.
The story continues…
Don’t eat the cashier! is the perfect game for a cozy night spent inside during the spookiest months of the year.
While voting already ended on October 26th, Don’t eat the cashier! participated in the Spooktober 7th Annual Visual Novel Jam on itch.io. You can continue to support the creator, Miloff by downloading the game and leaving feedback. Don’t eat the cashier! currently only spans the course of one day, but Miloff says that Day 2 is already in the works. They are looking to hear which monsters you’d like to see more of and what stories you’d be interested in exploring more in depth as the story continues.
You can download Don’t eat the cashier! here and you can find a tutorial for all the endings here if you’d like to see all nine unique endings that the game has to offer.
