Neighbours – Ramsay Street Round-Up (13th – 16th October)

I keep thinking that this week will be the week the Holly/Andrew storyline reaches a climax, but I keep being disappointed. It now looks like the Linwells story is going to intertwine with the affair and make one big super duper chunk of Unmissable Drama™. Surely next week will be the week it all well and truly kicks off? In the meantime, let’s round up where we find ourselves after another week in Erinsborough.

Paul Does a Very Swift 180

Nicolette, Leo and Krista have made an incredibly swift decision to go into a co-parenting arrangement together, and are all set to try to get Nicolette pregnant within the week. When Paul finds out about it, he is furious at first. He even calls the parenting arrangement between Aaron, David and Nicolette a disaster, while their daughter is in the room with him. I’m sure that’s what every child wants to hear their grandad say about their family.

Leo, Krista and Nicolette are all annoyed by his reaction, but Paul is unrepentant at first, claiming that he’s trying to protect his family. It takes Elle, of all people, to point out the error of his ways – he always says he’s acting to protect his family, but all he ever seems to do is cause them more strife. After this little pep talk, Paul suddenly pulls the quickest U-turn in history and tells Krista that he hopes Nicolette shoving some of Leo’s sperm in her vagina is a “raging success”, which seems like a really odd choice of words to me, but at least he’s trying to be supportive.

Wendy Gets Knocked Out

There have been some weird noises and other odd happenings over at the school. At first I thought that maybe Zac’s strange mate was hiding out there, but it turns out to be a stray kid, who is obviously going to end up on Ramsay Street when one of the households inevitably takes her in.

The stray child is only discovered when Wendy hears a noise while she’s alone at the school and goes to investigate, ending up close to where the girl is hiding in the bin. As Wendy goes to lock the lid, the kid pushes it open and makes a run for it, knocking Wendy out in the process.

Colton discovers her, but does absolutely nothing to help, just standing there like some sort of burly decoration instead. It’s only when Karl and Susan rock up that Wendy gets the help she needs, and gets rushed to the hospital.

Wendy’s brush with death by bin lid makes Andrew realise how much he loves her and doesn’t want to lose her. While he goes through Wendy’s things he finds her plans for their vow renewal, and he agrees to it – because nothing says you’re committed to your marriage more than boning your daughter’s best friend in grubby motels for several weeks.

Felix’s role these days seems to be to stand around perceiving things, and so he soon realises that Andrew’s behaviour after Wendy is injured is a bit weird. Felix confronts him, and Andrew confesses to him about the affair.

It’s now decision time for Andrew. Holly comes back from her trip to the peninsula fully expecting Andrew to have ended his marriage – instead he tells her he’s going to stay with Wendy and their affair is over. He says he doesn’t want to string her along, but surely that’s what he’s been doing for weeks, sitting well and truly on the fence between Holly and Wendy and refusing to make a decision. Holly is devastated, and she only has Felix for support, as nobody else knows her secret.

Felix Snoops on Greg

Felix has been perceiving things again, and he can see that Greg is up to no good. Determined to find some answers, he goes through Greg’s things and finds a gun, which he takes over to Andrew. Greg predictably falls back on the fact that he suspects Andrew and Holly’s affair, and uses it to blackmail Andrew – either Andrew keeps the gun (and Greg’s involvement with the Linwells) quiet, or he’ll go public with what he knows about Andrew and Holly. Andrew is a total gutless wonder and decides to compromise his professional ethics rather than face the consequences of his actions at home, so now he’s officially a terrible police officer and a terrible husband. Well done, Andrew, you absolute hoof.

Holly Also Does a 180

After having told Karl and Susan that she’s leaving, Holly backtracks, which they’re thrilled about. But surely she can’t expect life to just go back to normal now? She lives next door to the man she’s been having an affair with, it’s going to be incredibly awkward.

She even has the gall to start mending things between her and Sadie, which is sure to make things even worse when all this comes out. And it will all come out, probably at Andrew and Wendy’s vow renewal, because never has there been a wedding or vow renewal that’s gone without some sort of crisis in Erinsborough. It’s also probably going to involve the Linwells somehow, now that Andrew has agreed to hide evidence. I’m actually more invested in seeing how these two plots play out now that it looks like it’s going to end up as one big hot mess.

Sadie and Taye’s Business Tanks Before It’s Even Off the Ground

Sadie and Taye have somehow managed to get a skincare brand from a mere idea to a product sample in the blink of an eye. Taye is going full steam ahead with trying to attract investors, and who better to ask than his former clients from his escort days. It’s pretty smart thinking, but it’s also the last time Taye does anything smart, because everything he does from this point forward is as dumb as hell.

Taye and Sadie drive all the way to Canberra to pick up some samples of their face masks, and then when Sadie runs out of products at the spa, Taye encourages her to use their products instead. She’s getting Jane and Nicolette prepped for the make-up showcase in the complex, which is Sadie’s way of launching the beauty scholarship set up in Amanda’s name.

Now I understand why the Eirini gang were involved in this storyline from the start. At first I thought that them going over to test the face masks and then nothing happening was a missed opportunity, but now I see that the writers were setting up this moment of absolute cinema.

Vera has also bagged some more samples of the face mask for her to use in preparation for her hot date with turtleneck-wearing poser Monte, and she staggers into the make-up showcase like a raging rhino, just as Nicolette and Jane start to feel their faces stinging. Vera has already used the mask, and her skin is bright red. Surely whatever has happened to Vera is about to happen to Jane and Nicolette live on stage.

I’m behind any and all opportunities for Vera to steal the show, so I am all over this. It’s glorious, classic, silly Neighbours at its best and a brilliant way to end the week. More of this, please!

A Few Random Notes

As usual, here are a few random notes I took while watching Neighbours this week:

• Elle talking about not allowing new branches on the family tree when she’s clearly a couple of chardonnays in is pretty funny. 
• Jane’s mouth swelling disappeared in the space of two minutes. 
• Is Wendy on glue? A minute ago Andrew told her he resents her and she thinks the answer is a vow renewal?
• Taye trying to paint a trip to Canberra as fun is a bit much. 
• How can Taye promise to triple the investors’ money? That’s just not realistic. 
• So who’s going to wind up getting shot with Greg’s dodgy gun?