Before I sign off for the year, there’s just enough time for the Neighbours End of Year Awards – so here are my silly imaginary awards to celebrate the best and worst of our beloved and incredibly daft soap.
Bin Bag Award for Being the Biggest Trash Person
There were a lot of people in the running for this prize this year, because we’ve had a fair few maniacs running around Erinsborough in the past 12 months. There was the doctor who was poisoning people and who kidnapped Holly, there have been a couple of stalkers, the whole Tess and Keith drama, and obviously Eden, who played a big part in David’s death.
However, I’m giving the award to Chelsea. Most of the other baddies were mentally unstable or had some pretty major motivations for doing what they did, but Chelsea just chooses to be an absolute piece of dog mess purely for her own gain. She manipulates people, lies and refuses to take responsibility for her actions – and let’s not forget that she caused Krista to lose her baby. She also seems set to return, so we’re going to have to deal with some more of her nonsense.
The Tangled Knot Award for the Most Complicated Love Life
It’s hard to pick one clear winner for this, because nobody in Erinsborough seems to have a normal love life. This year we had Toadie and Terese’s marriage breakdown and her return to Paul, Aaron dating his dead husband’s stalker and being in danger of catching a serious STI from him, and Paul almost married Chelsea – honestly most of the residents of Ramsay Street make poor decisions when it comes to romance.
I’m going to go with triple winners for this award though – Jane, Vic and Melanie. They’re all whole-ass adults, but none of them seemed able to decide what they wanted in the romance stakes, and it was honestly so exhausting to watch. There was a lot of miscommunication and baffling “after you” politeness, as though they were holding a door open for each other. Thankfully they sorted it out eventually, so Mel and Vic are now off running their country pub, leaving Jane with the time to jump into bed with another of her exes, because she simply can’t help herself.
The Worst Judge of Character Award
This one also has to go to Melanie. Aside from the fact that she married Toadie, who took a real turn into the realm of being a bit of a tool this year, Melanie just can’t seem to figure people out when she first meets them.
She got tangled up with Vic online, not knowing he was Jane’s dodgy, cheating ex. Alright, Vic went on a bit of a redemption journey in the end, but at the start he was as dodgy as a nine bob note. We also need to mention the fact that she met some random bloke on a beach somewhere and travelled hundreds of miles with him in her drinks van, not knowing that he was David’s stalker, who then went on to develop a bit of a fixation on Aaron.
I think Mel should put all new acquaintances through a rigorous quarantine period where she investigates their backgrounds thoroughly.
The Elly Conway Worst at Making Decisions Award
This award is named in honour of the character who made the most terrible decisions in all of Neighbours history, and this year’s recipient is a member of the same family. The 2024 award goes to Holly, who is some sort of cousin to Elly and must have taken some decision-making tips from her at some point.
If she’s not getting kidnapped or going to the bush with a psychopath and ending up getting yeeted into a grain silo, she’s stitching herself up on a podcast, or she’s quitting her job to work with another psychopath. Poor Holly really needs to have a better year in 2025, and the bar is pretty low considering what she’s been through this year.
Most Unhinged
There were rich pickings for this one as well, and while Wendy and Melanie both have a natural air of unhingedness, I have to give the award to Wade. He harboured an IT-based grudge against Haz for years, and he came back to get revenge through an elaborate series of computer hacks which victimised Haz and all of his friends.
Haz was chasing Wade when Mackenzie accidentally ran him over and almost killed him, but even this was not enough for Wade. He orchestrated a plot at Haz and Mackenzie’s wedding to slash their brake lines and cause an accident, not knowing that Terese would end up driving the car instead. I don’t know how anyone has the energy for this sort of revenge plot, honestly, and for that alone he deserves this award. if Yaz had hurried up with her plans she might just have pipped him to it, but she could swipe this one next year.
Biggest Wet Lettuce
This has to go to Felix. He used to be a crook who enjoyed recruiting kids into crimeing with him, but then he turned into a milky religious fellow in a silly cap, who just floated around apologetically with an irritatingly simpering look on his face. He’s so unobtrusive that I’d wiped him from my mind until I reminded myself of all the new characters we’d met this year. Gone and definitely forgotten.
Icon of the Year
It’s Vera. It was always going to be Vera. She’s everything we should all aspire to be.
Peak Neighbours Moment Award
The moment when Moira caught Susan and Karl getting fruity in his office came a close second, but this award has to go to Karl’s entire Dr Pooper storyline. Only on Neighbours would we have a weeks-long story about one of the most beloved characters possibly defecating in people’s front gardens. It was disgusting but very funny, and so quintessentially Neighbours, especially the part where Karl got jealous of the bigger boys and their cycling club, and sent Aaron undercover to identify the real poo terrorist and bring them down from the inside. Absolutely peak Neighbours.
Hero of the Year
The crocodile who ate Keith. Well done, sir. I don’t have a picture of it, so you’ll all just have to imagine a well-fed crocodile – I’m sure you can do that.
So that’s it for 2024 – another great year of Neighbours. Thanks to everyone who’s read my round-ups this year, and laughed along with me at all the downright silly parts of our favourite soap. I will be back in 2025, but until then I hope you all have a sensational Christmas and a very happy New Year!
