This may be something of an unconventional Valentine’s Day book list. Most recommendations for the holiday focus on the romance genre, or at least books that center on a romantic relationship to some extent.
Now, don’t get me wrong; I’m not a big reader of romance as a genre, but I can appreciate a good romantic subplot. I just feel that platonic love doesn’t get as much love as it deserves. That’s why I’ve gathered some of my favorite “Valentine’s Day” books that celebrate the joy of fostering relationships with family, friends, and the world around us. Read them yourself or gift them to your platonic valentine for the upcoming holiday.
Crying in H Mart by Michelle Zauner
This is the sole memoir that made it to the list, but it deserves its place all the same. This was one of my favorite books I read last year. Michelle Zauner’s writing style is beautifully authentic and raw, letting the reader in on her mother’s battle with cancer and her own life after her mother’s death. Their relationship was not without its flaws. In fact, many of the stories within the book tackle the rocky parts of the relationship between a mother and a daughter. But though her mother’s way of expressing her love may have seemed unconventional, they found ways to understand each other.
One of the most significant points of connection in their relationship is food. Even after losing her mother, Zauner turns to Korean food to maintain the bridge between them. This book will resonate with anyone who has ever experienced a complicated relationship with a maternal figure or with those who have lost that relationship. It is a beautiful exploration of both the joys and sorrows of filial love.
Bridge of Clay by Marcus Zusak
In Bridge of Clay, the sibling relationships are front and center. I loved getting to know Clay through the eyes of our narrator: his older brother, Matthew. We get a glimpse into how Matthew sees his younger brother and the path that he decides to build for himself. But it is not just Matthew and Clay’s relationship that shines. The Dunbar boys, as a collective, bring a boyish charm to the story. Their relationships are filled with roughhousing and taunting, but also mutual respect.
Similarly central to the story is the Dunbar boys’ relationship with their absent father. Clay is the only one of his siblings who actively seeks to rebuild that relationship. He goes off to help build a bridge that becomes more than just a collection of stones. It bridges the gap between Clay and his parents and strengthens the bond between the brothers.
A Darker Shade of Magic by V.E. Schwab
V.E. Schwab is one of my favorite authors, so I couldn’t help but mention one of her books here. One of the greatest strengths of her books is the way that she writes character dynamics. In the Shades of Magic trilogy, through all of the political and magical turmoil, one relationship stands strong: Kell and Rhy’s brotherhood.
Though the King and Queen adopted Kell, Rhy’s love for him may even exceed his love for his parents. Even when others doubt Kell, Rhy sticks by his side. Likewise, Kell is Rhy’s biggest protector. Rhy is not an Antari like Kell. He lacks the magic to protect himself against potential threats. Kell steps in throughout the series to protect his brother in myriad ways. The two balance each other out in both ability and personality. For me, their relationship was the driving force of the novels.
Six of Crows by Leigh Bardugo
Another form of platonic love that deserves some celebration this holiday is friendship. Six of Crows is a classic found family heist story. We follow a rag-tag group of characters whose personalities couldn’t be more different. There are romantic relationships that emerge throughout the story, but the tight-knit group that the Crows form is the most unexpected and heart-warming development.
Some of the Crows have more history than others; Some get off to a rocky start. But when it comes down to it, they have each other’s back. I especially love the diversity of friendships within the group. Nina and Inej are great examples of the importance of female friendships. Nina and Wylan have an older sister-younger brother dynamic. And Kaz, of course, creates an interesting and surprisingly sweet dynamic with any one of the others.
Open Water by Caleb Azumah Nelson
You caught me. This book is actually categorized as a romance book. But the reason it makes the list is not because of the romance. Instead, I want to focus on the main character’s relationship with no one else but himself. His journey to come to terms with his identity is just as important as his relationship with the girl he meets at the pub.
We see through his eyes how he perceives himself and how others perceive him. He struggles with ideas of masculinity and race that are pushed on him from all sides. He also struggles with vulnerability. Before he can open himself up to love, he has to be vulnerable with himself and deconstruct his own emotions. If I could describe the story in one word, it would be this: intimate. In every sense of the word, Caleb Azumah Nelson explores what it means to be intimate with others and with oneself.
Convenience Store Woman by Sayaka Murata
The last book on this list is another that celebrates love for oneself, as well as love for one’s unique path in life. Our main character refuses to live her life by the rules of others. Keiko is a thirty-six-year-old Japanese woman who spends her days working at a convenience store. Despite pressures from family and friends to find a “real” job, settle down, and start a family, Keiko is content with her life as it is.
Keiko’s story is a wonderful reminder of the value of choosing your own path and creating a life you love. When Keiko tries to appease those around her, she only ends up more miserable than when she started. When she plays by her own rules, she finds purpose and joy. So, if your Valentine’s Day feels less than conventional this year, maybe Keiko and the others on this list will inspire you to make the holiday what you want it to be and to celebrate all kinds of love.
