I think this might have to be slightly more brief Ramsay Street Round-Up than usual, because I’m on my ancient laptop instead of my work computer, and I’m already wanting to hurl the stupid old thing into the Sun.
Anyway, here is my take on last week’s episodes of Neighbours.
Hazzy is Already on the Rocks
Holly and Haz have literally been together for about a day, and Haz is already getting fed up of her. She’s gone from 0 to 60 in about ten seconds, hanging round at his house all day when he’s not there, so she can pine for him with Trevor. She’s also eating everyone’s food, acting like she lives there, and behaving like her and Haz have been together for weeks. She needs to cool her boots.
Mackenzie is so sick of Holly hanging around that she’s taken to working at the coffee shop, and Byron would rather sit out in the garden than have to deal with her. Eventually, Haz gets on the same page as his housemates when she grabs his ultra posh coffee, takes a swig and then spits it out. It’s at this point that he yells at her.
I thought this was the end for Hazzy right here, but Haz apologises and they make up, after he spells out for her in words of one syllable that she needs to give him a bit of space. I’m not feeling massively confident that she’s going to be able to adopt the level of chill which Haz requires though.
A Secret is Kept in Erinsborough For Approximately Three Minutes
It doesn’t take long for the news to spread that Reece and Krista’s dad has died, everyone knows within seconds apart from Byron and Krista. Byron doesn’t know because Reece is absolutely ghosting him since she got back home, and Krista doesn’t know because everyone thinks it’s for the best if she doesn’t find out while she’s in the early stages of withdrawal.
Chloe spills the beans to Byron about Reece’s dad, but everyone decides they’re definitely not going to tell Krista, but because Holly appears to have developed some sort of kink about telling Sinclairs that members of their family have died, she sprints right over to Krista’s hotel room. To be fair to Holly, she thinks Krista already knows, but it’s maybe the sort of thing you might want to check with someone before you go barrelling into the recovering drug addict’s room to give her your condolences. Finding out her dad is dead like that sends Krista into a bit of a spiral, and she does a runner from the hotel.
David Absolutely Will Not Move Back to Erinsborough
David is still throwing a massive strop about not wanting to move back to Erinsborough, and is not happy about Aaron and Nicolette both putting pressure on him to agree to come back. Aaron is bored of folding sheets for their guesthouse and presumably wants to come back to Erinsborough so he can pretend he runs a business again, but never actually spend any time there.
It seems David’s main two beefs with returning are the fact that in Erinsborough he’s constantly reminded of the fact that he’s not a doctor any more, and also because Paul is always hanging around like a lingering fart, and the key advantage to working in the middle of nowhere is that Paul isn’t there. “This is the happiest I’ve been in years,” David whines, whinily.
Paul learns that David’s reluctance to move back is because of him constantly being up in his son’s grill and decides that the best way to tackle this issue is to sneakily get his address off someone and drive out to David’s place uninvited, in order to tell him that he’s going to stay out of his life. Sir, your actions do not match the words that are coming out of your mouth.
Despite Paul’s promises, David is absolutely adamant that he’s never going to come back to Erinsborough.
David Agrees to Move Back to Erinsborough
Showing the kind of resolve that I show when someone brings cupcakes into the office before I’ve even eaten my breakfast, David relents and decides to move back to Erinsborough. What brings about this absolutely whiplash-inducing u-turn is that Leo phones David to come and help Krista through her withdrawal, and David strikes up an instant bond with her.
When Krista runs off to score drugs after learning of her dad’s death, David finds her and talks her down, sharing with her the fact that he is no longer a doctor because he deliberately let a patient die. Krista thinks that’s exactly the sort of person she wants caring for her, and asks him to become her sobriety coach, paid for out of the Sincalir millions that Reece is now in charge of.
David thinks about this for about thirty seconds, then decides that he can indeed move his entire family back to Erinsborough on the basis of a job which is quite possibly only going to last a few months.
Presumably all the people at the guesthouse are going to find themselves without sheets and towels in the morning.
Nicolette Decides to Close the Stable Door After the Horse Has Bolted
The council have already sold the land on which the school is built, but Nicolette thinks it’s still not too late to save the school. It doesn’t look likely to me that the council will unsell the land, and quite frankly I don’t think I care, but Nicolette recruits Wendy to help her organise a protest anyway. Sadie also gets involved because she never appears to be doing anything useful, and so the three of them get down to some planning.
Nicolette swans around town in her revolting green leather coat, spreading the word about the protest while trying to keep it all secret from Susan and Jane. Susan rumbles them because she runs into their secret weapon in the coffee shop – Summer Hoyland. Apparently she’s a famous podcaster now, and Nicolette and Wendy have roped her into coming to cover the story of the school closure. It’s nice to see another returnee.
Susan shows a level of shock and horror about the protest which I really didn’t think was warranted at the time, but judging from the teaser for next week’s episode the protest is about to go completely tits up, so that will be a nice welcome back to the neighbourhood for Nicolette. I hope her disgusting coat gets ripped in the melee.
