It’s time to round up this week’s episodes of Neighbours. You find me here, on the other side of Flashback Week, confused and struggling to adjust to being back in the current times. All this week, I have kept reminding myself that most of what happened last week actually happened over a year ago. Plenty is going on in the wake of last week’s “revelations,” so let’s get into it.
David is Absolutely Done With Paul
David is tenuously involved in the whole Melanie business, and so he’s back in Erinsborough as a result of her spilling the beans. Aaron and Nicolette have tagged along for the ride, and now they’re giving David the hard sell about moving back again, aided and abetted by Jane, who’s been indulging herself in a spot of grandparent-flavoured emotional blackmail to try to get them to stay. The only problem with this is that David has been walking around with a face like a wet week and absolutely couldn’t make it any clearer that he doesn’t want to be in Erinsborough and doesn’t want to be anywhere near Paul.
I love the way that David is just completely brassed off with Paul and his toxic behaviour and couldn’t give two hoots about whether he ends up going to prison or not. I don’t know how Aaron and Nicolette think they’re going to persuade him to stay. Especially since it would mean moving in with Jane, and there’s absolutely no way her house has enough rooms for them all unless it’s like the tents in Harry Potter or the TARDIS.
I think there may be some sort of external motivation for him to stay in the near future, though, because Cara has a very undramatic injury at the Water Hole, which literally any human could deal with. David swoops in and goes straight into doctor mode. I am really looking forward to whatever convoluted way the scriptwriters are going to wiggle their way out of the fact that David is banned from being a doctor because he committed some sort of negligent manslaughter because this is undoubtedly what’s in the cards. Is it going to be some legal gymnastics with Toadie, and then David will be back at Erinsborough Hospital wielding a stethoscope again by next week? I can’t wait to find out.
Let’s All Go to the Prison
As is usual, when someone on Neighbours is banged up, the rest of the street is in and out of that prison visiting room with the same frequency that you find me opening my fridge. There’s no such thing as security checks or visitor lists – everyone just pops in as though they’re off to Tesco for some milk. Terese comes to visit to tell Melanie to leave Toadie and the kids alone, Susan and Jane pop by a couple of times, and even Nell turns up. I bet Melanie is never in her cell at this rate.
Krista is Alive
In the wake of the revelations of Flashback Week, everyone in Erinsborough seems to know that Krista is dead, apart from Reece. Holly soon fixes that, though, as she runs into Reece at Lassiter’s and gives her the news. I must have been feeling particularly vicious that day because when I looked back at my notes from this week (yes, I keep notes because I literally can’t keep anything in my head for more than three seconds), what I wrote about this scene was, “Imagine having to hear that your sister is dead from Holly.” Ouch.
No sooner has Reece phoned her dad to break the news to him it becomes apparent that Krista isn’t dead after all. This comes as a surprise to absolutely none of us. There’s no body, so OF COURSE she isn’t dead.
This discovery comes about because Holly, Haz, and Mackenzie decide to go all Scooby-Doo again and try to find Eden after he does a runner. Holly remembers that they used to stay in recently deceased people’s houses when they were on the road, so they started looking for possible houses in the area. Rather than give this information to the police, they searched them themselves.
Again, I must still have been in a bad mood when I was writing notes on this because when Holly decided to run into the house after Eden, I wrote, “For someone who was going to study medicine, Holly is really thick.” But she is, though, because she nearly gets flattened by Eden again, and it’s only because Haz uses the friend group’s single brain cell this week that he thinks of parking his car across the driveway and blocking Eden from escaping. He calls the police, who arrive at the speed at which a Formula 1 team does a pitstop, and Eden is taken into custody.
Meanwhile, Holly finds some of Krista’s clothing and searches the house for her. She sees her on a mattress downstairs, presumably recovering from eating the pans and pans of chickpeas that are inexplicably on the stove down there.
At first, Krista is reluctant to see Reece, but when Holly tells her that Reece has been looking for her, she relents, and the sisters reunite. It’s a good job that Holly didn’t tell Krista how long Reece spent assessing all the Lassiter’s facilities and going toe-to-toe with Paul, firing Holly, titting about with Byron, and eating pies on the beach before she started looking for her.
Chloe’s Back!
I’m simply thrilled that Chloe is back and is already making fun of Paul for the possibility that he might be off to prison again. She’s also clearly about to get recruited as a spy for Reece. Reece’s dad has a massive stroke, so she decides she needs to head home, but before she goes, she seems to be sizing Chloe up as a possible source of Paul-related gossip while she’s away. Even more thrilling than Chloe’s return is that Elly didn’t come back with her, and Chloe is very offhand when Paul asks after her, so I’m hoping that the biggest hot mess in the history of Neighbours isn’t coming back again.
Hazzy or Hackenzie?
I’ve no idea whether people are still doing this, but it makes my life easier to refer to Haz and Holly as Hazzy and Haz and Mackenzie as Hackenzie, so that’s what we’re doing. I’m Team Hackenzie all the way, but it’s Team Hazzy that has scored all the points this week. Hazzy gets smashed in celebration of putting their lives in danger yet again, and the end result is them sleeping together. They both decide to see where it leads, leaving Mackenzie in the awkward spot of watching her mate get it on with her crush. To Holly’s credit, when Sadie spills the beans about Mackenzie having feelings for Haz, she offers to back off, but Mackenzie is way too polite and tells her to go for it. So now poor Mackenzie is probably going to have to invest in some sturdy noise-canceling headphones in order to save her from the trauma of having to listen to Hazzy going at it.
Holly’s repeated mentions of not wanting to be like her mum are surely a sign that we will get a visit from Izzy soon, which I am always excited about. She’s such good fun.
