Fast and Furrious: Sonic Speeds into Theaters

As a kid I grew up playing, and watching, a lot of Sonic the Hedgehog. In fact, it was probably one of my favorite franchises while growing up, and one of the primary sources of blame when it came to me finding out and joining the furry community. So imagine my shock when IGN dropped this on us:

https://twitter.com/IGN/status/1072121573371510786

An all-new Sonic the Hedgehog movie, huh? Oh boy…here we go.

It should be noted that this isn’t actually the Blue Blur’s first time being featured in a film; 1996 saw the release of Sonic the Hedgehog, an OAV developed by Pierrot and later arriving in the US as Sonic the Hedgehog: The Movie, and back in 2013 Blue Core Studios did their own Sonic the Hedgehog fan film. However, this is Sonic’s first outing that involves a full runtime and a proper theatrical run.

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Source: http://www.sonicthehedgeblog.com/post/176427452420/tails-attempts-to-copy-sonic-from-the-sonic
While I am a long-time fan of Sonic, I’m not too sure I’m thrilled about the new movie. The design looks…off…and having this produced by the same fellow who handled The Fast and the Furious isn’t giving me much confidence either. With some luck, this will end up better than most US takes on Japanese entertainment…but for me that’s a best-case scenario. I only hope that it dodges the circle of Hell that such classics as Dragonball Evolution, Tekken, Death Note, and The King of Fighters resides in. Heck, I’d take Hitman levels; at least Timothy Olyphant was enjoyable as Agent 47 and he was actually trying to, y’know, assassinate someone. Not to mention, the design implied by Sonic’s shadow just looks…off. Like they’re trying to be too realistic about it.

And before you ask, no that one picture circling Twitter that shows off Sonic’s design is not official. That was from another studio’s whack at trying to do a Sonic film that eventually fell through. While it does look similar to the Sonic in shadows, there are some noticeable differences that can be picked out. If you haven’t seen that image, check out this tweet here:

https://twitter.com/bodopbop/status/1073224205322412032

Now as for the infamous bridge poster? This one?

https://twitter.com/LightsCameraPod/status/1072944168434130944

According to Eurogamer, this is the real McCoy. It’s an actual, official poster.

Oh boy.

In the movie, Sonic, played by Ben Schwartz, will be teaming up with Green Hills cop Tom Wachowski, played by James Marsden, who also has a wife that’s being played by Tika Sumpter. Their goal is to buttheads with none other than Dr. Robonik who’s played by…Jim Carrey. It’s not that I don’t like Carrey, far from it; I just don’t think he can pull off a good Robonik. Then again, he did a great job as Colonel Stars and Stripes in Kickass 2, so maybe he’ll surprise me.

But what has me worried is the whole “Sonic teams up with Human” thing, which Japan already tried with Sonic X, where Sonic & co. get sent to our world, with Sonic and his friends taking refuge with rich kid Chris Thorndyke, who was quite the divisive character in the Sonic community.

The other thing? Tom’s got a wife, so I’m hoping that they avoid any melodramatic subplots. You know the ones: either he’s having a rocky marriage, he’s a workaholic and his wife doesn’t appreciate that, they’re basically divorced and some other guy’s trying to scoop up his wife, etc. It’s not that I don’t mind those kinds of plots – well I kinda do, they seem cliché at this point – but I don’t really watch Sonic cartoons and movies for humans. I watch ‘em to see Sonic and his friends take the battle to ol’ Ironface. The last thing we need is more movies with anthropomorphic characters and humans where the humans are given more focus than the anthros!

Hopefully, they avoid going to the levels that the 1980’s My Little Pony: The Movie went to, where the human witch sister villains not only got a good chunk of screentime…they were arguably more interesting and developed than the ponies that people came to watch in the first place.

Perhaps I’m being a little too harsh on the movie. Who knows, it could be the knock out blockbuster hit of the summer that no one expected to succeed. But practically every time a big budget Hollywood studio handles a Japanese property, be it Anime or video game, it never seems to end well. And what I’ve seen so far makes me wish this was the movie that was getting adapted:

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Source: https://knowyourmeme.com/photos/408021-sonic-the-hedgehog

At least I’d know Danny DeVito would be an entertaining Robotnik.

We’ll see how well – or bad – the movie does when it speeds into theaters next November. Until then…gotta juice!

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Author: Niko Linni

Hiya! My name's Niko Linni. Just a friendly little bunny from over in Long Beach. Reading, writing, learning, and growing all the time.

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