Last week, Aaron and David got hitched, in the first same-sex marriage to be featured on Neighbours. Obviously, it being Neighbours, the whole day didn’t go completely smoothly, but thankfully they both made it down the aisle in what was a pretty adorable episode.
Aaron has been nursing a bad back, after lifting a kettle bell at the gym that looked light enough for me to pick up and re-rack with one hand. Although I did once put my back out to the point where I couldn’t put my socks on because of a not particularly vigorous sneeze, so perhaps I shouldn’t throw too much shade on that front. Anyway, since the injury, Aaron has been holding his back and grimacing a lot, whilst popping a lot of pills, which makes me suspect that he might be about to celebrate his new relationship status by developing a nasty addiction to painkillers. Of course, just as Aaron was getting into the car to go to the wedding, he slipped and made his back even worse, meaning that he eventually arrived at the ceremony in a wheelchair, which led to the inevitable determined struggle to get out of it in order to walk down the aisle.
The grooms had two aisles, so they could both walk down with their families, which was a lovely touch, and can we please talk about the music? I was a little bit slow on the uptake, but when I realised what it was, there was actual shouting. I live alone, so lord knows what my neighbours thought I was yelling at. Yes, in the most meta move in Neighbours history, Aaron and David came down the aisle to Especially For You by Kylie and Jason. I know this music choice didn’t go down well with all viewers, but I loved it. I love any nod back to classic 80s and 90s Neighbours, and it’s been decades since I heard that song. And actually, it was a pretty cute fit for such a happy wedding scene.
Susan was supposed to be officiating at the ceremony in her side-hustle as a celebrant, but she rather dropped the ball on the whole thing. Not only did she leave writing her speech to the very last minute, which is not a good look for a school principal, she also decided it’d be a great idea to go on some quest to the middle of nowhere with Karl, who has been trying to track down his half-sister. Susan cancelled a meeting she’d planned with Aaron and David, where she was going to go over the speech, but because of the sketchy phone service where Karl and Susan were (seemingly out in Narnia somewhere), only some of her messages got through and the grooms thought she was cancelling entirely. Not cool, Suze.
This left Aaron and David trying desperately to find a new celebrant, but as luck would have it, there was one lurking in the Waterhole – she’s rude, she’s eccentric, and she was dressed like the sort of woman who sells healing crystals at a craft fair, but beggars can’t be choosers, and by the time Susan decided to rock up to perform her celebrant duties, she’d already been usurped by a woman in a kaftan. This was my only niggle with the whole wedding storyline – I thought the ceremony deserved a little bit more gravitas than a woman with a giant orange flower on her head dismissively skim-reading the speech Susan had written. Personally, I think it would have been a better way to go to have the celebrant use Susan’s speech word-for-word and then take the credit for it afterwards, which would still have worked with the following storyline.
After the wedding, Susan carried on having the worst day ever by stepping in the most unconvincing pile of prop dog poo that I’ve ever seen, then she managed to damage the celebrant’s car as she leaned on it to clean her shoe. It was at this moment that it was revealed that the replacement celebrant was in fact Jemima, Karl’s long-lost half-sister. Hooray, Jemima’s going to be sticking around for a few episodes, said no-one ever.
Immediately after the wedding, Leo did a disappearing act, and ended up getting it on with Terese in Lassiters’ only hotel room. They’ve both been gagging for it for ages, and I don’t blame Terese one bit for finally giving in because, good lord, Leo is a very attractive man, but he is also a very bad brother. Skipping the photos at your twin’s wedding so you can get it on with the woman your dad is in love with is a decidedly uncool move, and no amount of flashing your adorable dimples will convince me otherwise. Bad form, Leo.
The rest of the Robinsons and Brennans were on-hand to celebrate the wedding at The Waterhole (of course, where else?), and even Paul managed to summon up some human emotions from somewhere to give a heartfelt speech about how proud he was of his kids, at the exact moment that one of them was doing the deed with the (current) love of his life.
I can generally take or leave any romantic storyline in every TV show or movie ever made, but these wedding episodes managed to warm even my cold, dead heart. So congratulations Neighbours, and congratulations to Aaron and David too!