*Insert ‘it’s been 84 years’ gif* since we last saw our faves from the 99. More urgently, the last thing we saw was Gina Linetti getting HIT BY A BUS. I honestly thought maybe she’d be leaving the show, or at least miss a few episodes since Chelsea Peretti is pregnant, but nope, Gina Linetti is indestructible! And like a phoenix rising from the ashes, she is back and ready to prove she’s stronger than ever. …She’s not obviously. She’s very weak and in an upper body brace. I’m actually a little confused as to why they had her get hit by a bus at all…it doesn’t seem to have anything to do with a current storyline…did they do it SOLELY as a cliffhanger? Or is something else coming up?
Before I go off on a tangent, let’s just get into the recap.
Crime in Brooklyn has gone down, so the NYPD has decided to close one of their precincts. The 99 has to prove their worth to the NYPD auditor in order to stay open. Easy peasy, right? Wrong. The auditor is Teddy, Amy’s ex-boyfriend a.k.a the man she dumped to be with Jake. She also called him “The Most Boring Man in America” to his face. That’s like the complete opposite of the Dos Equis guy!! Anyway, Jake and Amy have to lay on the charm to make sure Teddy judges them fairly. They can’t risk being split up because Jake is like a goldfish; if he doesn’t see Amy everyday, he’ll forget her. While Jake and Amy woo Teddy, Holt, Terry, Gina, Boyle, and Rosa fix other problems that make the precinct undesirable. One is a $21,000 Japanese copier that broke, and the other is rats. In typical B99 fashion, nothing goes as planned.
Teddy accompanies Jake & Amy on a stakeout and they succeed in making him think they’re interested in him. They talk about such fun things as Pilsners, Diet Ginger Ale, 5K’s, San Diego, and Jazz Brunch. But while Teddy’s in the bathroom, Jake & Amy explode. They repeat the most boring man in the world spiel and Jake frets about the size of Teddy’s package. As cops they should be a little more cautious about what they say and where they say it, because Teddy’s phone was still in the room with them…and recording the whole conversation. They decide to attend Jazz Brunch, fake a fight, cause a scene, and destroy Teddy’s phone. Everything seems to go as planned until Teddy follows them out and confesses his love to Amy, because he figures she’s not happy with Jake. She turns him down, obviously, and comes clean about their plan. Instead of taking it out on the 99, he recuses himself from the audit.
Back at the 99, sh*t is in shambles. Charles & Rosa use wolf urine that Charles casually has to attract the rats, but things go haywire when the rats get into an old stash of cocaine and attack Charles in the air ducts. He falls through the ceiling, covered in rat scratches, and breaks the $21,000 copier that Terry spent their entire episode trying to fix. Hope seems to be lost, because maintenance refuses to send down someone to do repairs, until Holt realizes no one can say no to Gina. Then, boom! Everything’s fixed, Teddy’s recused himself, and it seems like there’s no way this audit can end badly. …Until…Terry’s ex-girlfriend comes in as the new auditor…and she vows to have the 99 shut down.
Oh No! What will happen?! Probably nothing; it will all be okay. Everything is okay now that Brooklyn Nine-Nine is back!