Rebecca & Nathaniel have me cheering on team #CheatOnYourSO (SMH @ myself), Josh is oblivious as always, Paula misses Scott, Darryl is Paula’s best (only?) male friend, we haven’t seen WiJo in too long, Mrs. Hernandez still doesn’t like Rebecca, & Karen is stuck between men.
As always friends, spoilers below.
Let’s start this week’s recap by talking about Queen Paula, she is being super supportive of and happy for Rebecca, while she goes through her own stuff. At the end of the episode, Rebecca reminds her that she’s the leading lady of her own life and should do what makes her happy, leading to her letting Scott move back in.
Darryl also helps her come to this realization by taking her out to dinner and then calling Scott to tell him to come and apologize. Initially, Paula is PISSED AF that Darryl played with her feelings like that, but she apologizes to him eventually. After the apology, he sings an anthem of unrequited friendship and makes you love him 83% more!
While we’re talking about Daryl, I really need a White Josh sighting in the near future – because I miss him very much. Also Hector, I’d like to see him again too please. ALSO HEATHER & VALENCIA – their absence opened a hole in my heart! *whispers* also Santino, pretty please with pretzels on top!
Now before we get into the Rebecca-Josh/Nathaniel drama, let’s talk about the weather. Rebecca correctly remarks that they don’t have weather in California but everyone corrects her and tells her about the Santa Ana Winds. Apparently, these weren’t just a cute plot device in The Holiday, they make people do real crazy ish.
You’ll recall of course that RebeJosh got engaged in episode 10, to all of our dismays. Last week, they decided to put their name on the 2 year long waitlist for their dream location. This seems like a good thing, they can be engaged for 2 years and realize they’re terrible for each other and break up before things get messier. HOWEVER, because we can’t have nice things, by the end of the episode, Rebecca frantically calls one of the brides (after researching her obsessively) and bribes her to move her wedding and give her date to Rebecca.
Guess when the new wedding date is? Let me give you a hint…the finale was in 2 weeks at the time this aired! You did it! The wedding is in fact going to be in 2 weeks (one week from tonight aaaaaah I hope something bad happens tonight). Josh is flabbergasted when he first hears of this but he goes along with everything so it doesn’t bother him, I think. Paula also is supportive of Rebecca because she maintains this is what she wants the most.
I guess we should talk about why Becks frantically moves up her wedding and is trying to prove to everyone that her relationship with Josh is perfect. Shocker alert, it’s because he bores her. We saw a bit of this when Nathaniel showed up and some more at the Bar Mitzvah in Scarsdale, she doesn’t feel challenged by Josh and sometimes she looks like she wants to punch him.
Bunch doesn’t even get goosebumps anymore when he kisses her, and they’ve barely had sex since the engagement, and nothing is as stereotypically perfect as she imagined even though she’s pretending super hard that it’s all rainbows and ponys.
One day at work, the Santa Ana’s blow her shirt open (#pervs), revealing her bra and beautiful sacs of yellow fat to everyone in the conference room, including Nathaniel. He is super confused about his feelings for Rebecca now because he all of a sudden really wants to have sex with her. He’s slightly trash though and thinks he’s better than her.
THE DEVIL WINDS DO A THING AND MAKE IT WEIRD! The narrator/wind/weatherman blows some magic dust, causing Rebecca & Nathaniel to have the same sex dream about each other. The next day, the damn wind also causes a power outage at the firm while Becks & Plimpton are in the elevator!!! We all know elevators are the prime seduction destination; Grey’s Anatomy taught us that.
They don’t actually have sex, but they get to know each other more and bond over Harry Potter (she’s a Ravenclaw, he’s a Slytherin) and share lots of intense eye contact and one quick and passionate kiss at the very end. I’m not usually one to condone adultery but in this case omg I want them to get together, because they’re hot, but also because I want Rebecca to realize Josh isn’t for her and go back to therapy!
Instead, she breaks apart the kiss, yells at the wind and moves up her wedding…oy vey!
- Devil Winds: The Santa Anna Winds are causing trouble all episode long so of course they get a song that comes back a few times throughout and they end up serving as a narrator.
- Best Friends: Darryl knows he’s not Paula’s BFF but he doesn’t need a shoulder to cry so he’s fine
- Let’s Have Intercourse: Nathaniel wants to have sex with Rebecca but he thinks that’s a totally weird desire because he’s a man and most men are garbage
This episode was perfect, but then again they all are so this is no longer a shock. Tune in tonight at 9/8c on the CW for the penultimate episode and livetweet using #CrazyExGirlfriend!