The Last Man on Earth 3x04: “Five Hoda Kotbs”

Having left Malibu, the gang is on their way to San Francisco in their iconic vehicles, including The A-Team Van, the DeLorean, and the Eliminator.

Communicating over the radio, Carol asks if they can take another break from driving because she has a baby sitting on her bladder. Erica points out that she’s a month further along in her pregnancy than Carol is, and she doesn’t have to pee as much.

Gail is sleeping, alone in her self-driving car (I was wondering if these would make an appearance on the show).

When everyone pulls over due to issues with the Eliminator, Gail gets out of the car, and it drives off without her. Tandy announces that the Eliminator has been eliminated from their road trip.

Todd sees that Gail brought her Gordon doll when she left Malibu. The late Gordon (played by Will Ferrell) was once her lover. Once the romance between Todd and Gail started, Gail stopped clinging to Gordon. Now Todd is being judgmental towards Gail.

Gail points out that Todd hasn’t really been available to her. She and Melissa are both Todd’s girlfriends, and Melissa’s insane actions have been sopping up Todd’s attention. While trying to defend Melissa’s sanity, Melissa runs back and forth past them, saying, “You never know where it’s going to come from.”

Carol presents a model of the Golden Gate Bridge made of Twizzlers, with ‘jelly bean’ jumpers, because Carol likes to show the real side of things, and the Golden Gate Bridge was the #1 place to commit suicide. In classic Carol fashion, the ‘jelly beans’ are adzuki beans dipped in petroleum jelly.

Lewis mentions that he once traveled cross country with his partner. Classically, Tandy is confused about why Lewis would take his business partner on vacation. After failed attempts to clarify, Tandy realizes that Lewis didn’t mean business partner, nor did he mean ‘partner’ like a cowboy, but rather that he is gay. Tandy’s heart is in the right place, but his words do nothing but upset Lewis and create an awkward environment for everyone.

The next day, they arrive in San Francisco, only to find that the entire city has been burned down. Flashback to two years ago, before Tandy had met any of these people. He had passed through while touring America, looking for survivors and writing “Alive in Tuscon” so that survivors could find him.

When he had been there, Tandy set off all of the fireworks in a fireworks factory, not thinking through possible consequences. He decides to not tell anybody what had happened.

They discuss where to go now that San Francisco is no longer an option. Tandy insists that they can’t choose their new home. He believes that their new home will choose them. Erica asks if he is suggesting they just drive around aimlessly. Tandy replies, “Who is Aimless Lee, and why are we driving him around? Boom.”

Everyone returns to the remaining vehicles to find a new place to go. Tandy takes Lewis on the prison bus. On the bus, Tandy keeps annoying Lewis, first by singing ‘Sweet Caroline,’ and then by trying to play ‘I Spy.’ Lewis pretends to nap, in hopes that Tandy will give up.

Carol demands that Erica turn on the air conditioning, saying that she is going to burn in hell for denying AC to a pregnant woman. Once again, Erica reminds Carol that she, too, is pregnant. Out of spite, Erica runs the AC on full blast, blowing on Carol’s face. The car dies, and now the group is down to just the two vehicles.

With everyone snipping at each other, Tandy suggests, “If there’s anyone you don’t want to ride with, get in the other car.” Everyone gets in the A-Team van, not wanting to be stuck in a vehicle with Tandy. Todd tries to start the van, but it won’t budge, forcing everyone into the prison bus. Tandy starts singing his own 12 Days of Travel song, immediately annoying everyone on the bus.

Tandy hadn’t been paying attention and the bus ran out of gas in the middle of nowhere. Everyone (including the cow) starts walking. Eventually, they see a patio furniture store.

Once they arrive, they take a much needed break, and try to come up with a plan on where to go now. Todd is set on Tampa. Lewis thinks Portland would be best. Erica wants Vancouver. Carol mentions Bollywood. Gail just wants someone to pick place.

When everyone keeps fighting, Gail stands up and announces that she is going to Napa. She turns to leave, and saying, “Catch you on the flippity” (my own personal favorite way to say goodbye).

“We’re not a family. We’re all just a bunch of people who met at the end of the world.”

Everyone follows Gail outside. Melissa, who was already out there, standing on a giant stack of bales of hay, tells everyone that they should come see her view. With how crazy she’s been acting, no one was taking her seriously. Todd only looked as a way to appease her.